The Story
by greydayz
Summary: She left him without a word eight years ago. Now she's back and needs his help. Will Derek be able to forgive and learn to love again? MerDer AU
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own them or the song.**

* * *

_All of these lines across my face  
Tell you the story of who I am  
So many stories of where I've been  
And how I got to where I am  
But these stories don't mean anything  
When you've got no one to tell them to  
It's true...I was made for you _

I climbed across the mountain tops  
Swam all across the ocean blue  
I crossed all the lines and I broke all the rules  
But baby I broke them all for you  
Because even when I was flat broke  
You made me feel like a million bucks  
Yeah you do and I was made for you

You see the smile that's on my mouth  
Is hiding the words that don't come out  
And all of my friends who think that I'm blessed  
They don't know my head is a mess  
No, they don't know who I really am  
And they don't know what I've been through but you do  
And I was made for you...

The rain was coming down in heavy sheets as it pounded relentlessly on the windshield, making it nearly impossible to see where she was going. Despite the wiper blades going a mile a minute on the glass, the downpour was so intense it did not make a difference. She knew it was stupid to drive on a night like this, but she needed to get there before it was too late. Frantically wiping the tears from her eyes with nerveless fingers and pushing the soaked strands of her golden hair from her face, she maneuvered the car through the dark and wet streets of Seattle. As hard as she tried to focus on the street, her mind kept going back to the events earlier that night…to the fight that led to her driving like a maniac

_::flashback::_

"_How could you do this to me? To us?"_

"_It's not what you think! Please, you have to—"_

"_I see you two with your arms wrapped in a lover's embrace and that's all you have to say?"_

"_Please just let me explain."_

"_No! There will be no more explaining. I've ignored all the rumors of the affair because I love you but it wasn't enough for you. I wasn't enough for you! When we get home, I want you to pack your stuff and leave. This thing between us is over."_

"_It can't be over! I refuse to let us end like this!"_

_::end flashback::_

A new wave of tears fell down her already tear-soaked face as it blended with the old tears and salty rain water. She desperately tried to blink the tears away, but the more that she did the heavier the tears fell. Her heart was beating erratically against her chest as she rounded yet another street, bringing her closer to her destination. She silently cursed the stupid maze the streets formed with its many cul-de-sacs and myriads of small streets that led to nowhere. In the light of day, the streets to this wealthy neighborhood can be welcoming and easy to navigate through. Having lived here for close to three years, she should be able to find her way home blindfolded but tonight she was finding it extremely difficult. With her mind quickly losing its focus and straying back to the fight, she did not see the cat as it scurried across the street and in one quick movement, she swerved the car narrowly missing it but the sudden move caused her to slam her car into a streetlight. She closed her eyes as she prepared herself for the impact that was inevitably going to come. The impact struck her body so hard it jolted her from her seat. Had she not had the seatbelt securely fastened around her, she was sure she would've been thrown clear across the street. Her ears rang as she heard the loud distinct noise of metal coming into contact with metal as sparks flew in all different directions, reminding her of a firework show. Mixed in with the piercing sounds of metal being bent and twisted, she heard the sound of glass breaking and tires screeching on the wet cold pavement.

She felt the cold raindrops fall on her face and opened her eyes to discover that she was laying sideways. Turning her neck to one side, she looked straight up into the dark grey skies watching as the raindrops pounded without mercy on her blood-stained face. Moving her head to the other side to get relief from the punishing rain, she found herself staring at a big pool of water that formed along the sidewalk. The impact left her winded and with little strength she had, she tried to move. She felt a sharp pain shoot from her left foot, up the length of her leg and straight into her lower back, causing her to scream in sheer agony. She tried to move again, only to be dealt the same pain. Panting from the pain and exhaustion, she knew her leg was stuck and more than likely broken.

She fought some more until she had not an ounce of energy left in her badly injured body and collapsed into her seat. Her breathing was labored as she struggled to get air into her lungs. She could hear the blaring sound of sirens and people shuffling about as she drifted in and out of consciousness. The last image that flashed across her face was Derek's as she slipped into complete unconsciousness.

* * *

"How did your SRS go today?" Derek asked Mark as he adjusted his shirt collar over his leather jacket. It was the end of their 12 hour shift and they were riding the elevator together to leave work. 

"Like me, the surgery was perfect," Mark answered cockily. "Once the swelling goes down, Donna can live her life was a happy penis-less woman."

"You're an arrogant ass," replied Derek, rolling his eyes at his friend.

"I may be arrogant and I may be an ass, but I'm an arrogant ass that has a hot date with a hot nurse tonight," he grins at Derek, raising and lowering his brows suggestively.

"Another nurse? I swear, I didn't think there were any left in this city that you haven't already screwed or are too smart to date you because of your reputation."

"My good friend, it is _because_ of my reputation, both in and out of the sheets, that gets me these dates. You'd be wise to take notes and learn from the master seducer himself."

"Unlike you, I don't have the desire to spread my seed all through Seattle. I am content with where I am, thank you very much."

"Content," said Mark with disgust in his voice. "That word makes you sound domesticated."

"I _am_ domesticated and I like it."

"It's depressing and suffocating. The word alone is a buzz kill," he retorted, dryly. "Speaking of which, how's the wife?"

"She's _not_ my wife!" snapped Derek as he turned to glare at Mark.

"Well you two _act_ like an old, boring married couple."

"We're not married and I'm not old. I'm the same age as you."

"Perhaps, but you act like you're fifty and the wife is sucking the life out of you," he said, ignoring the sneer Derek gave him. "What the hell happened to you? You used to be fun. We used to have so much fun…you, me and Mer—"

"Don't say her name!" Derek barked, surprising himself as well as Mark. He thought he had forgotten her, but the slightest mention of her name still had him in knots. He pulled at his shirt collar, forcefully pulling at the button to loosen the top.

"Er…sorry," said Mark, giving Derek's hand a light squeeze. "I thought you were over her."

"I am. I just don't like hearing her name." he lied. "Can we talk about something else?"

"We can talk about sex," Mark joked, trying to ease the tension.

"I don't want to talk about sex with you." He turned to see Mark stand there with a big goofy grin on his face. He tried to feign annoyance at his friend, but his face broke into a smile and they both shared a hearty laugh as the doors opened.

"So what are you and the wi…er, sorry…the _girlfriend_ doing tonight?"

"I think she's planned a dinner and movie."

"So I was right?"

"About what?"

"You _are_ boring."

Derek was about to reply when he heard their names being called from behind. "Dr. Shepherd. Dr. Sloan! Wait!" They turned to see a nurse running towards them. Stopping a few feet from where they stood, she took a few deep breaths and said "I'm glad I caught you. Dr. Webber is looking for you. He needs you in OR 1 right now."

"Tell him our shift ended and—"

"He asked for us? Can't one of the other doctors assist him?" asked Derek, cutting Mark off. He knew Mark was anxious to leave for his date and he was being a little irate with the poor nurse.

"Yes, Dr. Shepherd," replied the young nurse, nervously wringing her hands together. "He said this is a VIP case and he only trusts you two."

"That's it?" asked Mark.

"All I know is that a young woman was brought in earlier with severe injuries to her head and a possible broken leg."

* * *

Derek and Mark went to change into their scrubs and were heading to the OR when they ran into the Chief. 

"What's so important about this VIP case that you need the both of us?" asked Mark as the three of them made their way down the hall.

"Earlier today, a young woman was brought in with multiple contusions, massive internal injuries, and suffering fr—" The Chief's voice broke as he was overcome with emotion. Taking a deep breath, he cleared his throat and continued "…from hypothermia and a broken leg."

"Are you okay, Chief?" asked Derek, seeing the worry lines clearly etched on the Chief's face. "It's just a patient. Mark and I will do our best—"

"It's not just _any_ patient," interrupted Richard. "She's…she's my god-daughter. Her mother and I did our residencies together and when she died, I promised to take care of her."

"Is she going to need surgery? Is that why you called us into the OR?"

"Not now," replied the Chief, letting out a big sigh of relief. "We managed to stabilize her and moved her to ICU. Her x-ray results have just returned and I want you two to examine them." He handed a file to Derek and waited as he held the x-ray up to the light.

"Everything looks fine, but we should run some more tests tomorrow to make sure something wasn't missed. Can we see her?"

"Yes," replied the Chief as he led the way to ICU. When they reached the door to the room, the Chief stopped abruptly and turned to them "Before we go in, I want you to know—"

"You don't need to prepare us. We're doctors. We're used to seeing the worst case scenario," said Mark as he tried to walk into the room.

Putting his hand up to stop Mark from going any further, he said "I was _going_ to say that in addition to her being my god-daughter, she also happens to be famous so discretion is of the utmost importance here."

"That explains the VIP status. I wonder who it could be," mumbled Mark under his breath so only Derek heard the sarcastic remark. They walked into the room to see a few nurses standing at the head of the bed, fussing with the monitors, blocking her face from their view. The Chief cleared his throat, effectively getting their attention and politely asked them to leave the room. As soon as they cleared out, Derek was able to get a good look at the patient and at that moment, he felt his heart drop into his stomach. He stood motionless as he felt a wave of shock wash over his numb body. With this eyes transfixed on the lifeless form, he kept telling himself over and over again that it was not her. It couldn't be her. He needed it _not_ to be her…not now after all these years…after the hell he went through trying to forget her.

Suffering from the same shock, Mark looked over at Derek and knew exactly what he was thinking. "Derek…"

"No. I can't do this. Not now." With that, he turned on his heel and walked out, trying desperately to force his heavy legs to carry him as far away as possible.

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	2. Chapter 2

Derek was sitting in his office, absently thumbing a pen on the end table staring out into the night sky. He was exhausted from a long day of surgery and knew he should have gone home, but his legs could not carry him any further so that by the time he reached it, all he could do was collapse in an emotional heap on the sofa. Nearly an hour had passed since he ran from her room…since he laid eyes on her for the first time in eight long agonizing years. Squeezing his eyes tightly shut, he tried to erase the image of her from his mind but the harder he tried, the more he remembered.

His thoughts were interrupted by a soft rap on the door. He knew who it was, but since the lights were out, he hoped the person would get the idea and leave. "I know you're in there, so don't pretend like you're not. Open the door, Derek." Mark's demand was met with silence. After a few seconds, he heard the door handle jiggle and was grateful that he had the foresight to lock the door.

"Dammit, open the goddamn door! I saw your car and I know you're in there so open up or I will break this door down! You know I'll do it!" Mark yelled through the door, his voice agitated as he jiggled on the handle once more. His threat was met with another long deafening silence in which Derek could hear Mark let out an expletive and said "Fine. You leave me no choice."

He heard footsteps as it moved away from the door and a few seconds later, Mark's voice was faint as it said "I'm doing it and if I break my arm, it will be on your head. You will have to explain to the Chief why his head of plastics is—." He stopped in mid-sentence when the door suddenly burst opened to reveal Derek standing there glaring at him through bloodshot eyes, his hair an unkempt and disheveled mess.

"It's about time."

"What do you want?" he asked, sounding petulant as me moved away from the door to collapse once more onto the sofa.

"Is that a rhetorical question?" retorted Mark as he moved to switch the lights on.

"Gahh!" Derek yelled as he put his hand up to shield his eyes as the once dark room now swam in fluorescent light.

"Are you okay?" Mark's question was met with an evil glare from Derek.

"Is _that_ a rhetorical question? Of course I'm not okay! What is she doing here?"

"I don't think she had much of a say in the matter considering her current situation," replied Mark dryly.

"I'm not talking about here in this hospital. I'm talking about here…in Seattle!"

"I don't know why, but you're not going to get your answers sulking in your office." Moving to stand a few feet from Derek, he let out a deep sigh and said "Look Derek. She is lying in that room, unconscious and may never wake up. From what the Chief tells me, she suffered severe trauma to the head. The scans may show no damage to her brain but you know as well as I do that these test are never a hundred percent accurate. She's lying there and she needs you."

"There are plenty of doctors in this hospital who are more than qualified to—"

"_You_ are the best neurosurgeon there is and she needs _you_ to be her doctor. You can't leave her like this."

"She left me!" Those three words reverberated throughout the room, leaving them both to stare in shocked silence at each other. Derek thought he was over her…over the painful past, but seeing her again brought it all back in waves and now he's drowning in its punishing currents, dragging him back down into that dark hole he fought for so long to survive.

"Yes, she left you. She left you without a note or explanation and left you a broken man…but aren't you the least bit interested in finding out why?"

"No, I'm not," he lied. "I'm done asking questions or wondering why I was never good enough for her. She made her choice and now I'm making mine. Tell the Chief to find someone else to tend to her."

"No. If you're going to be a coward, then so be it." Walking to the door, he turned to Derek and said "You're feeling anger and resentful and I get that, but remember that you are a doctor first and foremost. All emotions aside, there is a patient who needs you and you can choose to ignore it or do what I know you're capable of doing and take care of her as she or any other patient deserves to be taken care of."

* * *

Derek continued to sit in his office long after Mark stormed off. As much as he hated to admit it, Mark was right. He was doing his patient…even ones that ripped his heart into pieces…a disservice by brooding over something that was well in the past and long forgotten. He needed to put his game face on and treat her as he would any other patient.

Getting up from the sofa, he adjusted his lab coat and made his way down the hall towards the intensive care unit of the hospital. Along the way, he tried to think of things to keep himself distracted from thinking about her. He grabbed a brochure off a wall mount and began flipping through it with pretend interest.

"So you decided to take good old Mark's advice," said Mark as he snuck up from behind Derek and fell into step beside him.

"You're like a goddamn fly. No matter how hard I swat, you keep coming back for more. What do you want?" he barked, giving Mark an annoyed sideways glance.

"I'm going with you to see Meredith."

"What makes you think I'm going to see her? And even if I were, what makes you think I'd want you along?"

"So you _are_ going to see her?"

"I didn't say that!"

"Liar," retorted Mark with a satisfied smirk. "I know you're lying because you're a bad liar"

"Not that it's any of your business, but I only came here to grab this brochure," he said waving the piece of paper in front of Mark's face. "I saw it earlier and wanted to catch up on some interesting facts."

"Let me see." Mark looked at him suspiciously and reached for the brochure. He read the front of cover and began laughing hysterically.

"What's so funny?" asked Derek, annoyed as he grabbed the brochure back. He flipped it over and read the title _'Erectile Dysfunction: What you and your partner need to know for a healthy sex life.'_ His cheeks turned a deep crimson red and he stormed off, leaving Mark standing there laughing. He turned the corridor and could still hear Mark's laugh as it carried down the length of the hallway, mocking him.

By the time he reached her door, his nerves were on edge. His heart was beating erratically against his chest and his hands had turned cold and clammy. Wiping his hands along the side of his jacket, he reached out and slowly opened the door. From where he stood, he could hear the monitors beeping as he took a few tentative steps inside. Letting out the breath he didn't realize he was holding, he took a few more steps and carefully scanned the room to see if anyone else was in there with her. With a sigh of relief when he discovered that she was alone, he moved further still until he saw her sleeping form on the bed. Moving closer, he came up to stand next to her bed. His eyes glazed over with tears but he brushed them away as quickly as they came. He had to remind himself that this was business, not personal. He was here for the sole purpose of tending to a patient at the Chief's request and nothing more.

Pulling her chart from the bed, he scanned the pages and found that her injuries were more significant than the Chief led on. He eyes swept across the monitors checking to make sure everything was in working order and her heart was stable. His eyes finally moved to rest on her pale features and he let out a soft gasp. Even in her current state, he couldn't help but think how beautiful he'd become over the years. She was always beautiful as a young girl, but as he looked at her now he could see that her features has matured and softened with age, making her look like an Elysian goddess with her golden hair flowing about her shoulders. He noticed a few strands had strayed across her cheeks and his hand lifted of its accord and brushed the strands. He let his fingers lightly graze her cheeks, not wanting to move his hand away just yet.

"She's beautiful, isn't she?" Derek was so lost in his thoughts; he didn't hear that someone else had walked in.


	3. Chapter 3

The voice was female and one that he did not recognize. He carefully removed his hand, hoping that she did not see the intimate way that he was touching Meredith's face. Quickly blinking away the last remnants of tears from his eyes, he put on his best doctor smile and turned to face the visitor.

"Has there been a change in her condition?" asked the female, her eyes moving from Derek to look at Meredith. Derek didn't know who this person was, but from the sad worried look in her red-rimmed eyes, he would guess that Meredith meant a lot to her.

"They were able to stabilize her, but she remains unconscious," he paused, as the realization that she may never recover and wake up struck him like a blow to the stomach. Feeling as if all the air had been sucked out of his lungs, he struggled to gasp for air. He saw the curious look on the visitor's face and opened his mouth to talk but no words came out.

As if sensing his uneasiness, the stranger gave him a suspicious look and said "If you don't mind me asking, who are you and what business do you have being in Meredith's room?"

Taken aback by the blunt question, he gave her an uncertain look thinking his lab coat and scrubs would've been obvious enough but instead replied "My name is Dr. Shepherd. I'm Mer—Ms. Grey's doctor."

Derek wasn't sure if he imagined it, but he thought he saw a flash of recognition in her eyes when he said his name. He shook that thought off when she took a few steps toward him and said "My apologies. You said "they" stabilized her so I assumed you were not part of her medical team." Extending her hand out to him, she said "My name is Cristina Yang. I'm Meredith's best friend and publicist." Taking her small hand in his, he smiled and gave it a light, firm shake.

"Richard tells me she broke her leg," said Cristina as she walked around Derek up to the bed and took a hold of Meredith's hand.

"You talked to the Chief," he asked, although it came out sounding more like a statement.

"Yes. It was Richard that called me when they first brought her in."

"I see."

"She was stupid for driving. She hates rain and—."

"Thunder," he finished her sentence, his eyes never leaving Meredith's face.

"How did you know?" she asked, turning to glare at him.

Realizing that he'd been caught staring and may have said too much, he cleared his throat and said "Er…I just guessed. I mean, isn't _everyone_ scared of thunder?"

"Not everyone," she replied. Moving her hand up to brush Meredith's hair from her face, Cristina looked down at her and asked "She is beautiful, isn't she?"

"Like a goddess," he said, his earlier thought slipped out before he had time to think. Clearing his throat, he stuttered "If…if you'll excuse me, I have to go."

Cristina nodded in understanding and said "It was nice meeting you, Dr. Shepherd. I'm sure we'll be seeing you again."

* * *

Derek rushed out of the room, silently berating himself for getting so caught up with seeing her that he let his feelings show…and to a stranger of all people. Against his better judgment, he allowed himself to listen to Mark and all it did was bite him in the ass. He was supposed to be detached, to feel no emotion, to stop by for a quick check-up and leave. Why did he have to touch her? All the emotions he worked so hard to lock up came rushing back with the simple act of touching her and now he's craving for more. Turning the corner, he fell back against the cold wall and closed his eyes, which was a bad idea as the image of her flashed across his eyes. He felt the right pocket of his coat vibrate and reached in to pull out his phone. He looked at the number on the display and silently cursed to himself before he flipped the phone open and answered the call.

"Hi."

"_I thought we had a date tonight. Where are you?"_

"We did…we still do. I'm still at the hospital."

"_You haven't left yet? I thought your shifted ended over an hour ago."_

"It did. The Chief asked me to stay a bit longer to consult on a VIP case that came in," he explained.

"_Oh. Well, are you done now?"_

"Yeah. I'm finished," he said, a slight hint of sadness could be detected in his voice as he thought about Meredith.

"_Great! I was thinking maybe we can catch a movie tonight."_

Derek didn't feel like going out, but he felt bad not calling to say he was going to be late so he reluctantly agreed. "Sure, honey. We'll do whatever you want tonight."

"_Great! I've been wanting to see this new movie called 'Keep Holding On'. It got rave reviews and stars one of my favorite actresses Meredith Grey."_

Derek thought he was hallucinating. "Wait. What did you say?"

"_I want to see 'Keep Holding On'"_

"No. I mean _who_ did you say was in it?" he asked, hoping he heard wrong. His heart was pounding in his chest, his ears ringing, and his palms became sweaty so he had to grip onto the phone tighter to keep it from slipping from his nerveless fingers.

"_Meredith Grey. I can't believe you haven't heard of her. She's only one of the most sought after actresses in Hollywood right now. Oh wait…I forgot, you only like action movies or your medical documentaries and she only does romance/drama. Most of her work is in Europe. She just started doing American movies a few years ago."_

"I'm not in the mood for drama tonight," he said, thinking he had enough of that already and wasn't up to seeing her on a big 70 inch screen for the next two hours.

"_Oh, c'mon honey. You said I could have whatever I wanted tonight and I want to see that. Pretty please?"_

Derek could imagine her pouting on the other end of the phone and let out a deep sigh. "Okay. We'll go see it." He had no idea Meredith had become an actress. He must've been living in a rock or maybe his brain had succeeded in forgetting her that it chose to ignore all aspects pertaining to her. Anything was possible.

* * *

The following day, Derek was on his way to check on his patients when he saw Mark sitting in his office flipping through a magazine, drinking his coffee. He stopped and walked back to over his office, leaning casually against the door frame with his arms crossed over his chest. For a few seconds, he stood there wondering if it was a good idea to talk to him about Meredith. He remembered the erectile dysfunction fiasco and didn't want to give Mark any more reason to give him a hard time.

"Like what you see?" asked Mark as he turned to look at Derek and gave him a flirtatious wink.

"All I see is an ass," retorted Derek as he straightened and walked inside to sit on the couch opposite Mark.

"So you like my ass?" Mark grinned at him before returning to the magazine to continue reading. "Sorry buddy, but this ass belong to the ladies. You are not my type."

"Whatever. Can we not talk about your ass? It's early and I just had breakfast."

"Fine. You can sit here and stare at me. Remember to look but don't touch."

For a few more minutes, Derek just sat staring at the wall directly in front of him before he finally blurted out "Did you know that Meredith is an actress?"

"Yes. She's the hottest thing in Hollywood right now," replied Mark calmly as he took a slow sip of his coffee.

"How do you know this and I don't?"

"I make it my business to know what's going on, especially in the entertainment industry. I have people coming in wanting me to do nose, chin and boob jobs to make them look like their favorite actors and actresses," replied Mark without bothering to look up from the magazine he was reading. "Ever since she won the Oscar for her role in the movie 'I Love To Hate You', she's in high demand. You'd have to be living under a rock not to know about her."

"Well, I didn't know."

"My point exactly."

"Kendall dragged me to go see her new movie last night."

"You poor bastard," said Mark unsympathetically. "It must've been hard seeing your ex on a 70 inch screen with your current girlfriend sitting next to you. She had some pretty steamy scenes in that movie."

"You watched it?" asked Derek in disbelief. He remembered those scenes in vivid detail and felt uncomfortable knowing Mark had watched it.

"Yes, I watched it. Chicks dig guys who watch chick-flicks," replied Mark matter-of-factly. "You know my offer to teach you the ways of Sloan's seduction still stands."

"I don't need you. I have Kendall and we're happy."

"If ignorance is bliss, then you must be fucking deliriously happy," replied Mark sarcastically.

"What the hell do you mean by that?'

"She doesn't know you, Derek. You've been seeing her for nearly 10 months and she still thinks you like action movies when you prefer to read. She brings you vanilla lattes when you detest the damn thing. She buys you those pastel blue shirts, when you abhor that color"

"Alright stop! So she doesn't know my preference for books over movies…or my likes and dislikes with coffee…or my favorite color. That doesn't matter to me. What matters is that she makes me happy and I haven't been happy in a very long time," he paused to look at Mark. "I deserve to be happy. I deserve to have someone who will take care of _me_ for once. I deserve to have someone in my life who will not up and leave me!" He stopped to take a deep breath when he heard himself yelling and ran a frustrated hand through his hair as he struggled to regain his composure. "I know Kendall is not perfect, but she's here and she takes care of me."

"I'm sorry. You're right. She does take care of you and that's good enough for me."

Derek gave him a half-smile and stood up to leave. His mind was still reeling and he needed to be alone to clear his head before he has to go check on Meredith.

**

* * *

A big Thank You to Angie and Jime for letting me use their fics 'Keep Holding On' and 'I Love To Hate You'. Love you guys! **


	4. Chapter 4

Derek was deep in thought as he stood on the bridge of the main hospital wing, looking out into the busy streets of Seattle. The bridge has always been his favorite spot, a place he could go to find solace and clear his head. Today; however, he was finding it hard to stop thinking about her as he stood watching the downpour of rain as it pounded with force onto the city he has grown to love since coming here with Mark eight years ago. He let out a bitter laugh at the cruel twist of fate he finds himself in now. He remembered in vivid detail the day she left him. It was a day very similar to this day. The skies were dark and grey as it loomed above, its heavy rain threatening to drown the city and everything that occupied it. He remembered standing in the middle of Central Park waiting for her. They were going to run away to a new city where she would be far from her mother's cold and unfeeling clutches and they could finally be together.

_::flashback::_

"_She's not coming, Derek."_

"_Yes she is! She promised me she would be here and I'm not leaving until she does."_

"_It's been over six hours. If she hasn't shown up now, she's not going to."_

"_You don't know that! She wouldn't tell me she's coming and not show up. It's not like her."_

"_Maybe she changed her mind. Have you thought about that?"_

"_Go away, Mark! If you're not going to be a friend and support me, then leave."_

"_I AM supporting you! Why the hell do you think I'm standing here in the fucking rain? I know you love her and she loves you, but you have to face the fact that she may not be coming. I'm not saying this to hurt you. I need you to get out of the rain before you get sick and die."_

"_I'm not leaving. I will wait here forever if I have to, but I'm not leaving."_

_::flashback ends::_

He snapped out of his thoughts and was brought back to the present when he heard a voice from behind ask him "What happened to you last night?"

"I'm sorry, Richard," he said, pushing back from the rail to address him. "It was a long day and I was a little overwhelmed, that's all. I had a chance to visit Mer…Miss Grey last night and checked her charts. The injuries she sustained were pretty severe and her brain is quite swollen. We will have to keep a close watch. If the swelling does not go down on its own, I will have to operate and leave the skull flap open to relieve some of the pressure." He paused to take a deep breath, knowing he was rambling but he needed a distraction to take his mind off his thoughts from earlier. Although, talking about her and her injuries did not help the matter. If anything, it raised his level of concern and worry for her, seeing as how she remains unconscious and her condition has yet to improve. "Speaking of which, have new tests been ordered?"

"Yes. As a matter of fact, I was looking for you to see if you wanted to come with me to check on her. I was told the results came back and thought maybe we could review them together."

"Uh…sure," he hesitantly replied. He wasn't quite ready to see her, but he didn't want to raise any red flags if he didn't agree to go. It was bad enough that he ran out last night, he didn't need to give the Chief reason to suspect anything. They walked in silence to her room, stopping by the nurse's station to request that the new test results be brought to her room immediately. They saw Cristina sitting on a chair next to her bed. Her day planner lies open on the armrest as she frantically types into the laptop sitting on her lap. She appears deep in thought, but her eyes anxiously shot to the door as soon as they stepped foot inside.

"Good Morning, Cristina. It's great to see you here so early in the morning," said the Chief, as the two men made their way to stand at the foot of the bed. Derek's eyes dart immediately to rest on Meredith, his brows furrowed together in obvious concern and…a hint of something else. This did not go unnoticed by Cristina as she moved her laptop aside and stood up from the chair.

"Dr. Webber. Dr. Shepherd," she addressed both men. "It's nice to see you. I was told Meredith's test results came back."

"Yes. I've asked that they're brought to me—ah…here they are," said the Chief, as a nurse came in holding a package in her hand. The young nurse handed the file to the Chief and stood hesitantly as she looked at Meredith with awe and sadness in her eyes. "Er…thank you Olivia. That is all." With a half-smile, he casually dismissed the young nurse and waited for her to scurry off before turning to hand the tests to Derek.

Together, they walked to the view panel and carefully reviewed her scans, checking for any hairline fractures on her scull or blood clots that may have developed overnight. After a few minutes, they returned to see a nervous Cristina standing there with bated breath as she waited to hear their assessment of her condition. Derek was the first to speak when he saw the distraught look on her face. "Her tests are clean; however, her brain remains swollen." He could see that Cristina was visibly shaken and continued to explain "The swelling has gone down noticeably since yesterday and if it continues to go down, we will not have to operate."

"What happens if it does not go down? Will…will she ever wake up?"

"We will continue to monitor her progress," Derek explained. "If the swelling does not go down by tomorrow, we will need to operate to relieve some of the pressure on her brain."

Turning to address the Chief, Cristina asked "Is that what you would recommend? Not that I don't trust Dr. Shepherd, but….she's my best friend. My person. I don't know what I would do without her and…," she paused as her voice began to falter "I'm not prepared to think of my life without her in it." Derek was touched by their deep friendship. At one point, he felt the exact same way Cristina did about Meredith, but that was a long time ago.

"Derek is my head of neuro and I trust him implicitly. I know you care a lot about Meredith and I do too. We will do everything in our power to save her."

* * *

It was the end of Derek's shift and he was getting ready to head to his office to collect his things when he decided to make one last visit to check up on Meredith. He had asked the nursing staff to page him every hour on the hour with a progress on how she was doing. As of the last update he received, she remained unconscious and her vitals were stable. That update was no different from the previous one or the one before that. As he made his way down the corridor that led to her room, he knew not to get his hopes up as the possibility of operating on her grew stronger as each minute passed. He knocked on the door lightly before opening it and walked inside. He scanned the room and did not see Cristina.

Pulling her charts, he quickly scanned it, but he knew there was nothing in there that he didn't already know. He stood there watching the soft rise and fall of her chest, thinking how peaceful she looked. His hand reached out. He watched it move toward her and he tried to will it back, but it seemed to move of its own volition until it touched her cheek, gently stroking. As if in a dream, he stood looking at her for what seemed like an eternity until he felt his coat pocket vibrate. Without moving his hand from her face, he looked up at the clock on the wall mount and knew it was probably Kendall calling him. Letting out a deep sigh, he released his hand and gave her one last look before he turned to leave. He was about to reach the door when he heard a faint groan. His head snapped over to her bed, staring intently at her, wondering if it was his imagination. Not daring to breathe, he waited a few more seconds hoping to hear it again. His face dropped in disappointment and he moved to look away when he saw her fingers move, followed by another faint groan.

Without another seconds delay, he rushed to her bedside, leaned down and whispered "Meredith?" It was met with silence as he reached out to grab her hand. "Meredith? Can you hear me?" The silence was deafening as he waited for a response. Leaning further in, he whispered in her ear, his warm breath fanning her cheeks "Meredith. Please say something…say _anything_. I need to know you can hear me. Please…" He waited a while longer, his heart slowly breaking when nothing happened. In all his angst, he must've imagined it and slowly let go of her hand when her fingers tightened around his.

Derek's heart jumped in his throat when he felt her fingers tighten around his. It was not a strong grip, but the feeble attempt was enough to get his heart beating a mile a minute as he cupped her small hand in his and gave a soft squeeze. "Meredith? Can you hear me?" he asked again, his voice hopeful as he felt her hand move within his. "Please open your eyes for me. Do you think you can do that?" He held his breath as he looked intently at her, watching for any signs of movement. He tried not to let the disappointment set in as the minutes passed and he still hadn't gotten a response. Releasing a frustrated sigh, he let his head drop onto his hands. He was exhausted and sitting there, waiting and not daring to breathe was exhausting. He tried to detach himself from feeling anything for her, but in a cruel twist of fate, he finds himself back where he was eight years ago…waiting for her.

He felt the coat pocket vibrate yet again. He had missed the first call when Meredith stirred and knew it was Kendall calling him. Deciding against ignoring her call for the second time, he released Meredith's hand and stood up as he reached inside his coat. Moving across the room, he flipped the phone open and whispered a soft "Hello?"

"_Derek? Why are you whispering, honey?"_

"I'm inside a patient's room. I didn't want to be too loud and disturb her," he said before remembering that she was still unconscious, so it really wouldn't have mattered.

"_Her? Should I be nervous that you're inside a female patient's room at this late hour?" she teased._

"I—uh, I was just…," he stuttered, the ability to speak escaped his mind

"_I'm just teasing, honey. I know she's just a patient and nothing else."_

"Yeah, she's just a patient," he said, more as a need to remind himself of that fact. "She's means nothing to me. Absolutely nothing…nothing at all."

"_Are you okay? You're acting strange."_

"I'm fine," he lied. He reached his free hand up to pinch the spot at the bridge of his nose with his thumb and index finger to ease some of the pressure that was building in his head.

"_Okay. It's just that you've been acting weird ever since last night."_

"I'm fine. Everything's fine."

"_Was it something I did?"_

"What? What do you mean?" he asked, immediately going on the defensive.

"_You seemed…distant. You kept shifting uncomfortably in your seat at the theater. You hardly looked at me and kept rubbing your eyes. You didn't let me touch you all night. You barely uttered two words during dinner. I know you don't like those movies and I promise never to drag you to them again. Just promise to talk to me, okay?"_

"It's not you. I've been really busy at work and let my emotions get the better of me, that's all. I promise not to let it get in the way when we're together." He looked over when he heard Meredith mumble something inaudible and quickly tried to end the call. "Listen, Kendall..my patient is waking up and I need to check on her. I'll call you tomorrow, okay?"

"_Okay. I miss—"_

"_Please don't leave! Thunder…too loud! I don't like…"_

"_What was that?"_

"It's, uh…my patient," he replied, watching her intently before averting his eyes to look out the window. The skies were dark and grey, but it was not raining and there was no sound of thunder.

"_Why is she yelling like that?"_

"I think she's dreaming. I really must go to check on her. We'll talk tomorrow, okay?"


	5. Chapter 5

Meredith was having a bad dream…a very bad dream in which she drowning in a dark abyss of voices and shadows. Her body felt weightless as if she was floating, yet she could feel herself falling, her body plunging into the deep recesses of the unknown. She reached her hands out in all directions to grapple with anything to hold onto to keep from spiraling deeper into this never-ending freefall. She could feel cold air coming from beneath her bare feet and strained her neck to look down, but all she could make out was complete and utter darkness. Faint voices could be heard from all around her…some she recognized, others she did not.

"_You are nothing but ORDINARY! You think becoming an actress makes you special?" _

"_I'm not cheating on you! Don't believe the tabloids! I love you and want to marry you!"_

"_Are you sure you want to marry him? He's not good for you, Mer. My office will deny all rumors of the engagement for as long as you want. We can even make it go away. Don't make any rash decisions and just promise me you'll think about it, okay?"_

"_I love you Meredith. I've loved you since…forever."_

"_You could've been a brilliant surgeon, but you chose to be stupid like your useless father and take the easy way out."_

"_It seems the hottest new thing in Hollywood is officially off the market. Meredith Grey's publicist has just confirmed her engagement."_

"_You're my person…my sister."_

"_Come with me. You and I can start a new life together…away from here…away from everyone."_

"_It can't be over! I refuse to let us end like this!"_

"_Meredith Grey's camp has just confirmed her engagement to her boyfriend of two years. I must say this came as a surprise amidst all the rumors of him cheating on her with another actress."_

"_Shh…I'm here now and I'll keep you safe. Try not to think about the thunder. Here…listen to my heart beating. Do you hear that? Count the beats. It'll help you fall asleep. Shh…my love. I'm not going anywhere."_

"_We are moving and that is final! You have become too attached to those two boys and they are bad influences on you!"_

The voices kept getting louder and louder as it continued to torment her head. She tried to move again, but her arms and legs felt like lead, pain shooting up and through her body at the slightest movement. In her panicked state, she tried to open her mouth to scream, to tell the mocking voices to stop, but no sound came out. Squeezing her eyes shut and mustering up all the energy she had in her weak, frail body she opened her mouth again and let out a long agonized wail "Stop!"

Derek, who was busy re-checking her charts for the tenth time that night, was startled by her outburst and turned around to see her eyes flutter open and close again. He immediately dropped the chart to the ground and ran over to her bedside, praying that he wasn't imagining it and leaned in as he held his breath…waiting for her eyes to open.

Meredith heard a loud bang, followed by a shuffling noise as she struggled to open her eyes again. She took a weak, labored breath and willed her eyes to open and when they did, her green eyes clashed with a pair of deep blue ones. For a second, she thought she was dreaming and closed her eyes to erase the image from her mind. There was only one person in her life that had piercing eyes as deep and as blue as the ones she just saw and that belonged to a man that was well in her past.

* * *

"Yes, I know they're asking for a statement!" Cristina barked into the phone to her assistant as she walked through the hospital parking lot. She let out a heavy frustrated sigh as she jabbed impatiently on the elevator call button. The phone was nestled precariously between her shoulder and ear as she tackled to balance her laptop rollaway bag, briefcase, a large steaming cup of coffee, while holding onto her Blackberry with her other hand as she typed into it with her thumb. "I want you to call Alan over at People and release the following statement…_'Miss Grey's condition remains stable as her doctors continue to closely monitor her progress. We deeply appreciate all the outpouring of love and sympathy from her fans and ask that everyone respect Ms. Grey and allow her the privacy she needs to recover.'_ Did you get all that? I'm going to be here for at least a week, possibly longer. I've already discussed this with Nikki, Teesie, and Ellen and I need you to move all my clients over to them. I will be dedicating my time to Meredith and all inquiries are to be routed through me and _only_ me. Send all the paperwork I asked for earlier to the Hotel Andra…and get me a new Bluetooth earpiece. When you're done, get yourself a mani/pedi and lunch at The Ivy, on me. Thanks Natty."

She ended the call and leaned back against the elevator wall. She was exhausted from another sleepless night. The uncertainty of Meredith's health was taking a toll on her, both physically and mentally. She decided to go back to the hotel last night to catch up on some much needed sleep, only to lay awake thinking about Meredith. She was grateful the elevator was empty and let out an anguished sigh as she closed her eyes to allow herself the few minutes of solitude before she had to deal with the possibility of surgery for Meredith. The door opened with a soft "whoosh" and she stepped out, trudging carefully along the hallway to Meredith's room with all her belongings in tow. She greeted the nurses as she walked by, half hoping they would tell her that Meredith's condition had improved overnight but she did not receive such news. In fact, she didn't get anything other than a polite response to her greeting, followed by a look of sadness and concern. Her stomach was in knots as she walked warily into Meredith's room and stopped in her tracks. Before her, she saw Derek sitting on the chair next to Meredith's bed with his upper body leaning over her bedside as his head lay rested on his arms, sound asleep. As Cristina stood there contemplating whether she should wake him, she looked at his features more closely and couldn't help but wonder.

The incessant muffled sound of a pager beeping caused Derek to stir in his sleep and mumbling something incoherent under his breath, he jerked his head up and fumbled with the pocket of his coat as he reached for the pager. Rubbing his eyes, he looked up and saw Cristina standing in the middle of the room, watching him curiously.

"Good Morning," she said, looking at his disheveled state. His hair was an unkempt mass of dark raven curls and his eyes were blood-shot with dark circles underneath. "Were you here all night?"

Raking his fingers through his hair, he stood up, gave her a tentative smile and nodded. He was too tired to speak and his lower back was sore.

"H-how is she doing today?" asked Cristina, preparing herself for the worse.

"The swelling in her brain has reduced significantly since yesterday and unless complications arise, there is no need to operate. I've been monitoring her throughout the night and am happy with the progress I've seen. She…she had several dreams last night that elevated her blood pressure to an almost dangerous level." Derek paused as he remembered her discomfort. Her facial features showed the obvious distress the dreams were causing her as she tossed her head back and forth, mumbling inaudibly. Never in his life had he felt so helpless as he tried to calm her with soothing words. "She's stable now," was all he could say. He was exhausted and emotionally drained.

Cristina stood watching him as he explained and could make out the worry lines in his handsome features. Blinking away the tears that formed in her eyes, she cleared her throat and let out a deep sigh of relief upon hearing that Meredith would not require surgery. "Thank you, Dr. Shepherd." She felt immense guilt for not being there for Meredith. "I…I shouldn't have left. I should have been here…," she trailed off, unable to finish.

"You had a long day yesterday and needed some rest. There is nothing wrong with that, so please don't blame yourself. She's stable now and that's all that matters." He gave her a comforting smile and squeezed her shoulder gently. "I need to answer this page but I will be back later to check on her."

"Thank you again, Dr. Shepherd."

Turning to flash her his dreamy smile, he replied "You needn't thank me and please call me Derek." Before he left, he turned and asked "Who's Peter?"

"Peter is her fiancé. Why do you ask?"

Clearing his throat to ease the sudden tightness in his throat and chest, he said "She kept calling his name last night." Averting his eyes to look at the floor, he looked back up to look at Meredith and said "It might be a good idea to have him come. Maybe hearing his voice will help bring her back."

* * *

After Derek left, Cristina was busy rummaging through her bags for the items she needed when she heard a soft moan. She leaped up from where she was squatting on the floor and rushed over to Meredith's bedside.

"Mer?" She stood leaning over Meredith, holding her breath as she waited for a response. Meredith's eyes fluttered open and she looked at her with heavy-lidded eyes. "Meredith? Can you hear me?"

"Cris…tina…"

"Yes, it's Cristina. It's me."

"Where…," she paused as she struggled to talk with her parched throat. "Where…am...I?"

"You're in a hospital. You were in a car accident three days ago. Do you remember?"

Meredith let out a frustrated groan as she tried to remember what happened. Her body felt heavy and she could not move her left leg. "My leg…I can't…"

"You broke your leg in the accident. Mer…you've been unconscious for three days. Your brain had become so swollen they were going to operate to relieve some of the pressure. Dr. Shepherd told—"

"Who?"

"Dr. Shepherd. He's the head of neuro…," Cristina stopped talking when she saw Meredith wince. "Mer? Are you okay?"

"What's the doctor's first name?" asked Meredith, her eyes filled with anguish as she looked at Cristina.

"Derek. Derek Shep…" The realization hit Cristina as she heard Meredith groan and buried her head into the pillow. "It's him, isn't it?"


	6. Chapter 6

She let out a tormented groan and buried her face deeper into the pillow, biting down on her trembling lips to fight back the tears that threatened to fall. Last night when she looked into the deep blue depths of his eyes, it was so fleeting that she thought she dreamed him up.

"Meredith?" Cristina placed a tentative hand on her shoulder and gave a light shake.

"I don't want to talk about. Not now, not ever."

"Fine. We won't talk about it now." Cristina conceded, pulling the cover up over Meredith's shoulder. Her suspicions that Derek was the one Meredith told her about all those years ago was right. Meredith only ever referred to him as "blue" but she knew by looking at him and the familiar way in which he looked at Meredith and cared for her that he was the one.

"I can't…I can't be here," she whimpered, her voice muffled by the pillow. "I can't…he can't…I need to leave." With weak determination, she yanked the blanket back and tried to pull herself off the bed. The sharp pain that shot down the length of her spine and into her leg was hard to ignore but she didn't care. She could feel the heavy cast as it weighed her down but she did not let that deter her.

"What the hell are you doing?" yelled Cristina as she wrestled with Meredith to get her to lie back down. "Get back into bed! You broke your leg and I'm not about to let you break your neck too!"

"I need to leave. You don't understand, Cristina. He doesn't want to see me. He…he hates me," she finished, feeling dejected.

"Maybe I don't understand, but I'm not letting you leave. You can oblige and do as I say or I will make you, but either way, you are not leaving."

"Cristina…," she trailed off weakly, wincing in pain as she flopped back onto the bed.

"I know it hurts," said Cristina, her double entendre was not missed by Meredith as she let out another anguished moan. "We can leave as soon as you are better and right now, you are not, so get some rest."

"I've been resting for three days," Meredith replied.

"Correction...you've been unconscious for three days."

"But I'm awake now and I'm fine."

"Do you really want to go there?" asked Cristina as she crossed her arms in sheer frustration at her friend's stubbornness. "You are not fine. You're in denial."

"But—," protested Meredith before she was interrupted.

"But nothing! We can talk this out until you're blue in the face, but I'm not going to relent."

"Fine," whined Meredith as she leaned further into the bed.

"Fine."

"You're a bitch."

"I'm a bitch," agreed Cristina, trying to keep from smiling at the look Meredith gave her. "I'm also your person. And as your person, I'm going to kill you if you ever pull a stunt like that again."

"A stunt like what?"

"Letting yourself get so worked up over that unworthy piece of shit you call your fiancé that you were willing to—."

"How did you know?"

"I'm Cristina. I know everything."

"The accident was all my fault. He…Peter loves me and we had an argument, that's all" Meredith didn't know why she felt the need to defend Peter, but talking about him kept her from thinking about Derek. "He loves me and I love…," she trailed off weakly, unable to get the words out.

"You don't love him. You're using him to fill a void."

"You're wrong! I do love him and he loves me!" she yelled in defiance. Cristina was always right and she hated it when she was right. She knew she'd made a mistake when she agreed to marry Peter. He's always had a roving eye and she had hoped that if they moved as far away from Hollywood that he would be less tempted to cheat. She'd even gone as far as buying an expensive house in the suburbs of Bellevue to try to make him happy and love her and only her.

"Oh yeah? If he loves you so much, then where the hell is he? You've been in this hospital for the past three days and I've yet to see him step foot inside."

"He…maybe…he probably doesn't know where I am." Meredith knew her excuse was pathetic and didn't have to see the look on Cristina's face to tell her that.

"Everybody knows where you are. Your fans, the media, the paparazzi…_everybody_!"

"He lo—"

"Who are you trying to kid, Mer? He wouldn't know love if it reared its head and bit him in the ass," snapped Cristina.

* * *

Derek felt better after he had a chance to shower and change into a fresh pair of scrubs. His lower back was still sore from sleeping in the awkward position, but he didn't feel comfortable leaving Meredith alone after the scare with her blood pressure. He had only intended to stay around for another hour and never imagined he'd fall asleep, only to wake up to her friend watching him. As he rounded the corner and walked down the hallway that he knew led to her room, he stopped at the nurse's station and he asked for her charts. He began to methodically scan the pages and with his head still buried in her charts, walked into the room and asked "How's she doing?" Still focused on the charts, he waited for a response from Cristina and when his question was met with silence, he looked up and his eyes clashed with a pair of green ones.

They stood in awkward silence for what felt like an eternity. The shocked look on Meredith's face mirrored those of Derek's. It was absurd, but neither one had expected or was fully prepared with what to say when they saw each other again. Given the circumstance with which they found themselves, the meeting was inevitable whether they liked it or not. And based on the looks on their faces, they definitely did not like it, not one bit. Meredith lay motionless on the bed, her eyes transfixed on Derek. Her breathing was ragged and shallow as she took in the very sight of him standing there before her. Her eyes were immediately drawn to the magnetic depths of his blue ones. She remembered he had soft caring eyes. Eyes that could see into the very depths of your soul and could communicate a range of emotions without so much as speaking a single word. She could always ascertain how he was feeling by seeing the reflection in his eyes and now as she looked into the cold steely blue pair, she knew he was angry and he had every right to be.

Clearing his throat, Derek broke eye contact first and quickly averted his gaze to look at her chart. The words in front of him all meshed together into one big blur but he didn't seem to notice or care. He was looking for a temporary distraction so he could clear his head and think of something else to say, rather than the one question that's been brewing in the back of his mind since he saw her three days ago and that was…_"Why didn't you show up?"_ He opened and closed his mouth a few times and the distressed look on his face clearly showed the internal struggle he had to stay focused and not get lost in feelings of hurt and resentment towards her.

"You're awake," was all his numb mind could think to say to break the deafening silence between them. It was not the most intelligent thing for a brain surgeon to say, but he was struggling to breathe as the protective wall he had carefully constructed over the years came crashing down and the debris were threatening to suffocate him.

"Der—," Meredith replied weakly as she tried to look past his cold, indifferent stare. Her eyes silently pleaded with him, but all she got in return was a look of disdain.

"How are you feeling, Ms. Grey?" he interrupted her. The formal way in which he addressed her made her wince and she quickly turned away so he didn't see the tears that welled up in her eyes.

"I…I'm…hurting," she finished weakly. Her voice was laced with emotion and she willed her eyes not to look at him. If she allowed herself to look at him, she would fall apart and she needed to remain strong despite feeling as if someone had ripped her heart out.

Derek was taken aback by her omission and instantly felt guilty for being so cold toward her. He had to remind himself that she was a patient and he needed to show compassion. He took a few tentative steps and moved to stand next to her beside.

"The impact from the car accident put a lot of stress on your body and along with your broken leg you will be uncomfortable for a few weeks," he said, trying to remain professional. "I can prescribe you some medication to help alleviate some of the pain." Losing her ability to talk, Meredith just nodded her head in agreement and slowly released the breath she had been holding since he came to stand by her.

He reached inside the pocket of his scrub top and pulled out a penlight. Careful not to look at her, he bent down and flashed the light in her eyes to check her pupils for its responsiveness to light. His finger lightly grazed the side of her temple and she let out a soft gasp from the current of electricity that shot through her body. Derek must have felt it too because he immediately moved his hand and stepped back.


	7. Chapter 7

"Oh good, you're here," said Cristina as she walked into the room carrying a bottle of water and two cups filled with ice chips. She looked curiously at Meredith, then to Derek, then back to Meredith and knew she interrupted something. The tension in the room was so thick you could cut it with a knife. "I'll come back," she announced before turning on her heel to walk back out.

"No!" yelled Derek and Meredith in unison. They both looked at each other in surprise and turned to see Cristina stop in her tracks as she slowly turned around. "Please don't leave," said Meredith as she gave her friend a pleading look. "Dr. Shepherd is just about finished here." Meredith was proud that she managed to keep her voice calm and collected. Her stomach; however, was in knots and she felt nauseated but she at least succeeded in keeping a cool façade.

"Er…that's right," he agreed, reluctantly. "I was just leaving, Miss Ya—"

"Call me Cristina. There's no need for formalities here."

"Alright…Cristina," he said, giving her a warm smile. "I'll get the nurse to bring you some pain medication and will be back later to check on you." With a curt nod to Meredith, he slipped his penlight back into his pocket and walked out.

"What the hell was that?" snapped Meredith.

"What the hell was what?" asked Cristina, innocently.

"You were flirting with him!" Meredith accused as she took the bottle of water out of Cristina's hand.

"I was not!"

"You were too!"

"No, I wasn't. He asked me to call him Derek and I wanted to extend the same courtesy. I was trying to be nice to him for taking care of your stupid ass, okay?"

"Oh."

"You accuse me of flirting and all you have to say is "Oh"?" she snapped at Meredith before taking the water back to pour herself a drink. "Besides…why would you care if I was flirting or not?"

"I don't." she lied.

"Yeah…sure." Cristina rolled her eyes as she sat down on the chair. "Now tell me what that cheating bastard did this time."

"He didn't do anything," she lied yet again.

"That's the second lie in less than five minutes. Do you want to go for three and tell me you're _not_ still in love with Derek?"

"Cristina!"

"I'm waiting," she replied, crossing her arms over her chest and giving Meredith a challenging look.

"I can't love him. He hates me."

"He may have a host of feelings for you right now, but hate is not one of them. I know what I saw earlier and it was not hatred," stated Cristina matter-of-factly. "Hate would not have him staying with you all night to make sure you were okay."

"He…he did that?"

"He did. I caught him sleeping in your room when I came in this morning and I can tell you he didn't look comfortable slouched over your bed, but he was there."

They stopped talking when they heard a soft knock on the door and turned to see a pretty young nurse walk in. "Hi, I'm Nurse Krissy. Dr. Shepherd asked me to bring these for you, Miss Grey."

She had in her hand a small cup which held the pills that Derek said he would prescribe. She stood at the entrance of the door, unsure of whether she had intruded on a private conversation and smiled when Meredith waved her hand, gesturing for her to come in. She walked up and deposited the cup onto the stand next to Meredith's bed and hesitated as she looked adoringly at Meredith.

Meredith looked curiously at her and waited for her to speak, but when she didn't say anything she smiled and asked "Is there something else?"

The nurse's face broke into a big smile and she said "I just wanted to tell you that I'm a huge fan of yours. I've seen all your movies and my favorites are 'The Sweetest Temptation' and 'Could Be Anything'. You really are a gifted actress, Miss Grey."

"That is very nice of you, thank you," said Meredith, her heart filled with joy at the compliment. "Please call me Meredith. There is no need for formalities here," she finished, using Cristina's line from earlier.

They patiently waited for the nurse to leave and shut the door before they resumed their conversation.

"He stayed _all_ night?" Meredith could feel the heat rising in her cheeks as she thought of him being here with her.

"Yes. You had some pretty intense dreams last night that elevated your blood pressure, so he stayed to make sure you were okay."

The smile that was starting to form on Meredith's face fell as soon as Cristina mentioned her dreams. She remembered the dreams or more appropriately…nightmares as it brought back haunting images and memories from her past and present.

"Mer? Are you okay?" Cristina asked when she saw small beads of sweat forming on Meredith's forehead and upper lip.

"I…I'm fine," she lied, trying to shake the images from her head. Cristina gave her a doubtful look, but did not pry any further. "Is it okay for me to take a shower or something? I'm feeling "ick" so maybe a shower will do some good." She asked trying to deflect the attention away from what she knew Cristina wanted to talk to her about.

"I don't see a problem, but let me ask the nurse." Cristina walked out and came back a few minutes later. "Your room is fitted with a handicap shower so you'll be able to shower…with help, of course. The nurse is going to get me an extra pair of scrubs to use and I'll help you."

It took a huge amount of effort, but Cristina managed to help Meredith take a shower without causing more injury to her leg. Nurse Krissy came in and wrapped her cast in plastic wrap to keep it dry and assisted Cristina with the shower.

Once Meredith was clean and dressed in a new gown, they helped her back to her newly made bed. They heard a soft cough from behind and turned to see the Chief standing there. Meredith's face broke into a bright smile as she gestured for him to come in. "Uncle Richard, how are you?"

"Much better now that you're awake," he replied, moving around her bed to give her peck on her flushed cheeks. "Are you feeling okay?"

She nodded her head and reached for the cup that still contained the pain medication. "Der—Dr. Shepherd gave me these to help ease the pain. I was just going to take them."

"I'm happy to hear that Derek came by. Did he do a checkup?" asked the Chief as he reached for her charts to give it a quick scan.

"He…he looked at my eyes," she answered awkwardly. "When can I leave?"

"Leave? You just woke up and you want to leave?"

"Yes," she said averting her eyes from the Chief's steely gaze to pretend to pick at a piece of lint. "I, um…I feel fine."

"Nonsense! If your mother were still here, she wouldn't let you leave."

"My mother is dead," Meredith said emphatically, her voice flat and with no emotion. Meredith remembered a time long, long ago when Ellis decided to play the responsible "mommy" role and kept her from leaving. What she did ruined Meredith's life and all chances she had at true happiness. Ellis Grey was a cold heartless bitch that never cared for anyone but herself and her precious image. It was only out of her fear at having her image tarnished by her unwanted daughter that she relocated them. She never wanted a family and made certain Meredith knew it every chance she got to rub it in her face. Meredith's contempt and resentment towards her mother were only known by a few select people, namely Cristina, Derek, and Mark.

"I'm sorry to interrupt," said Cristina, trying to defuse the tension in the room. "I was thinking of going back to the hotel to freshen up a bit. Meredith, I'll stop by your place and pick up some essentials for you." She gave Meredith a look and smiled at the Chief before making her leave.

* * *

Derek was finishing up with his afternoon rounds when he ran into Mark on his way to his office.

"I hear that our golden girl is awake," said Mark as he fell into step beside Derek. Derek gave him an annoyed look and quickened his pace. He didn't like hearing Mark refer to her with the nickname they gave her. It reminded him of a time when they were young and happy and that made his stomach lurch just thinking about it.

"She's not my golden girl!" he snapped. At least not anymore, he thought to himself. "If you're referring to Miss Grey…then yes, she's awake."

"Oh so it's 'Miss Grey' now, is it? You used to be on really friendly terms."

"She lost all rights to be friendly with me when she left. I am her doctor and I will only remain in that capacity," he barked at Mark before pushing his office door open.

"You're being unreasonable."

"There you are!" Both men stopped talking and turned to face the person sitting in Derek's office.

"Hey!" said Derek as he tried to mask his surprise. Mark; however, was not so careful in hiding his annoyance but that went unnoticed by Kendall as she walked over and planted a soft lingering kiss on Derek's lips. Breaking the kiss, he pulled back, smiled and asked "What are you doing here?"

"I knew you had a rough night and brought you this," she said, reaching behind to grab something off Derek's desk. "A large, steaming cup of vanilla latte. Your favorite!"

Derek heard Mark chuckle softly under his breath and he took the opportunity to jab him in the ribs before Kendall turned back around.

"Ouch!" yelped Mark as he gave Derek a death glare.

"Are you okay, Mark?" Kendall asked as she handed the drink to Derek.

"Er, yes…I…I'm just allergic to vanilla lattes, that's all." Mark moved his hand up to cover his nose, effectively covering the smile on his lips.

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that," replied Kendall, her brows furrowed together in concern.

Trying to stifle a laugh, he turned to Derek and said "We'll finish this later."


	8. Chapter 8

Meredith closed her eyes and laid her head back against the soft plush pillows, letting out a long sigh as the Chief left. Cristina still hadn't returned from her errand, which she didn't seem to mind since it allowed her a few moments peace. Her thoughts immediately went to Derek and how distant he was earlier. He didn't even call her Meredith or...

"I hear my golden girl is awake."

A big smile spread across her face as she opened her eyes to see Mark standing in the doorway. "Mark!" she squealed in delight as she tried to sit up, only to be hindered by the heavy weight of the cast. She let out a frustrated sigh and looked helplessly at Mark.

"Hey beautiful. Don't get up on my account," he teased, smiling at the defeated look on her face.

"Are you really here or is this a dream?" she asked, half teasing, half unsure if she conjured him up.

"You dream about me?" he asked, grinning sheepishly.

"Only when I'm having a nightmare," she replied, giggling as she saw the fake injured look on his face. "What are you doing here?"

"Derek and I moved here from New York eight years ago."

"Eight years?" she asked. "Was it because…?"

"Yes," he answered.

"Oh."

"What happened, Mer?"

"I…it's…," she stuttered, trying to find the words to explain. "It's…complicated."

"It doesn't have to be."

"He hates me, Mark."

"He's hurt and he's angry, but he doesn't hate you."

"That's what… Have you been talking to Cristina?" she asked, raising her brow.

"Who's Cristina?"

"She's my friend."

"Hm…never met a Cristina before."

"That's weird because you both said the same thing."

"You should listen to her. She sounds like a smart woman." He flashed her one of his winning smiles and said "It's a nice day outside. What do you say we take a nice stroll?"

Pulling the covers off her legs, she showed him her cast and said "I don't think I'll be walking any time soon. I can hobble after you," she joked.

"I've had women chasing after me, but never hobble before. This could be interesting." He gave her a devilish grin. "Let me get a wheelchair and I'll chauffer you around. How would you like that?"

"I would love it."

Mark left and returned a few minutes later with a wheelchair. He pulled it alongside her bed and reached over to pick her up easily and carefully deposited her into the chair.

"Thank you. Now where are we going?"

"There's a nice courtyard outside next to the open café. The inside of the hospital can be depressing at times, so the hospital built the courtyard to make things easier for people who are trying to convalesce"

* * *

Derek was having a hard time paying attention to his girlfriend as she talked about different color swatches and silk vs. imported silk from Asia. They were seated at a small table by the café, talking or rather he was listening to her talk as he absently thumbed his drink which by now had turned cold.

"So I ended my meeting early because the vendors we hired brought the wrong fabric samples. You would think they'd be more careful in ensuring everything was in order, but nooo…." Derek nodded his head and did the occasional "hmm" and "oh's" to be polite, but his mind was elsewhere. He slowly surveyed the surrounding area, taking in the colorful array of flowers in the small garden when his eyes stopped moving as it fell upon Meredith over in the opposite corner sitting in a wheelchair that was being pushed by Mark. She was smiling and talking animatedly as she pointed and gestured to the flowers around her.

"Derek honey, are you listening to a word I'm saying?" Kendall stopped talking and turned to Derek, seeing him look at something from behind her. She slowly turned around and followed his gaze until it rested on Mark and a small petite person sitting in a wheelchair. "Oh my god, is that Meredith Grey?"

Derek was speechless as he stared at her. "Let's go over there and say hi," squealed Kendall as she started to push her chair back.

The sudden moved caused Derek to snap out of his shock and he quickly grabbed her hand, preventing her from moving. "No!" he yelled, then lowered his voice when people nearby looked over at them. "She barely woke up from a bad accident and need time to rest without being bombarded with people around her. Leave her alone."

"But, I...," she began to protest then thought better of it and leaned back in her chair with a pout.

"Thank you." Derek said softly as he pulled her hand up to his lips and gave it a soft kiss.

* * *

"Are you still breaking all the female hearts around…." The rest of the sentence trail off as Meredith looked across the flower beds and saw Derek kissing a woman's hand. Her throat tightened up and she flinched as she looked away to keep from crying.

"That's Kendall," said Mark as he placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. Meredith looked up to steal a glance in their direction and slowly assessed the woman. Even from their seated position, she could tell the woman was tall. She was dressed in a navy pinstriped, pencil skirt with a rather tight fitting white blouse. The top few buttons were left open to reveal a subtle amount of cleavage. She had long straight blond hair that ended halfway down her back and a rather pretty smile.

"Is she his…" She wanted to ask if she was his wife, but she let her sentence trail off, unable to find it in her to say the word.

"Girlfriend."

"Oh," she said feeling somewhat relieved. "Does he love her?"

"He says he does."

"But you don't think he does."

"It doesn't matter what I think," replied Mark as he maneuvered them to a nearby bench and sat down. "He could be using her to fill a void or maybe he does love her…I don't know. What I _do_ know is that you left him a broken man when you left. What happened that night? Why didn't you meet him?" He looked at her imploringly; a tinge of guilt struck him when he saw the pained looked in her eyes. He knew it wasn't his place to ask, but Derek sure as hell wasn't going to and he needs closure.

"I…I did it because I loved him." She turned to look at him with tear filled eyes. "Don't look at me like that. I know you think that if I loved him, I would've showed up and…I was going to, but…my m—," she stopped as she remembered the cold vicious words her mother threw at her and let out a defeated sigh. "It doesn't matter now. Just know that I loved him…I loved him with every ounce of my soul and what I did was wrong, but I did it all for him. I've spent years hating myself for hurting him and that will haunt me until the day I die."

She nervously wrung her hands together, squeezing tightly to quell the angst that was causing her stomach to tighten in knots. "Please don't hate me," she pleaded.

"You're my girl. How can I hate you?" He moved his hand up and brushed a stray tear from her cheeks. "I'm not going to pressure you, but eight years is a long time for someone to have to wait for closure. I hope someday soon, you will find the courage to talk to him and explain. He deserves that much."

Meredith looked up and watched Derek as he smiled at something that was said. Her heart jumped into her throat at seeing him happy and smiling again. "She makes him happy."

"She does," he agreed, following her gaze to look at the smiling couple. "But she doesn't understand him like—."

"Please Mark, I can't…I can't do this. We've all moved on and it's better this way. He has a promising career in neurology and someone who loves him and takes care of him. He has everything he's always wanted and I am happy for him."

"Not everything," Mark said softly under his breath.

* * *

From the short distance across the courtyard, Derek was struggling to keep his eyes from straying to where Meredith and Mark sat. Kendall was being funny and sweet and he knew he should give her his undivided attention, but his eyes were being drawn against his will to Meredith. Even in the dull hospital gown, she still managed to look radiant as she listened intently to Mark talk. Her cheeks appeared flushed, her hair freshly washed as it lay in soft curls around her shoulders, gently framing the soft features of her face. His brows furrowed together when he saw a glimmer of tears around the rim of her eyes. He felt a vice tighten around his heart when Mark lifted a hand to brush across her cheeks, earning him a smile from Meredith. He let out a guttural groan and tightened his fists.

"Ouch!" yelped Kendall as she jerked her hand out of his tight grip. "What was that for?" She gave him an injured look and began to massage her hand.

Derek jerked his head back and began to apologize profusely to Kendall, taking her reluctant hand into his to massage it. "I'm sorry, honey."

"Are you okay? You've been acting weird lately."

"I'm fine," he lied, discreetly looking at Meredith once more before standing up. "I have surgery I need to prep for. I'll see you tonight, okay?"

"Okay. I need to get going myself. Walk me out?" she asked as she stood up and laced her arm around his, leaning in close to rest her head on his shoulder.


	9. Chapter 9

Meredith was exhausted when Mark finally brought her back to her room. Cristina had stopped by with her belongings and had to leave shortly afterwards to help Nikki and Ellen take care of a situation with an under-aged actress who along with her musician boyfriend decided to throw a party and trash their room at a five star hotel in Europe and now the tabloid are reporting that alcohol and drugs were involved.

Resting her head back against the pillows, she closed her eyes and let out a soft contented sigh as she fell into a deep sleep. A soft smile spread across her rosy lips as she remembered back to the day she met Derek and Mark.

_::flashback::_

_She was 15 when her mother decided to uproot her from her friends and home in Boston and moved them to New York. Her father had abandoned her when she was five, leaving her to be cared for by her mother – a cold, heartless, driven woman who was more concerned with accelerating her medical career than have to tend to an unwanted child. For ten years, Meredith endured her mother's neglect and emotional abuse, even accepting that it was her fault her father left. Every chance Ellis got she made sure Meredith knew that she was a mistake…a mistake that she should have rectified when she found out she was pregnant. _

_It was a warm summer day in New York when the cab carrying her and her mother pulled up outside a luxurious high-rise apartment building in Manhattan. Handing a few large bills to the driver, Ellis quickly got out of the car and began barking orders at the movers, leaving Meredith sitting alone and afraid in the car. The driver mumbled something lewd to her and laughed as she scrambled out of the car. He barely waited for the door to close before speeding off, leaving her to stand in a big dark cloud of exhaust fumes. Ellis was so busy yelling and directing that she didn't realize or care that her daughter had wandered off._

_Meredith walked inside the building unimpressed by the lavish décor and grimaced at the ostentatious crystal chandelier that hung overhead. Seeing that all the elevators were being used by the movers, she made a detour to the stairs and began her slow ascent up the long flight of stairs to the 15__th__ floor. At the top of the 5__th__ floor, she decided to take a break and came to sit next to a window overlooking the street that she and her mother had just driven up minutes before._

_She was deep in thought, enjoying the peace and solace when she heard a door slam, followed by footsteps as they ran up the stairs. She sat up and waited with bated breath as the intruders ascended the stairs making their way towards her._

"_What the hell did you say to them?" asked a young man with dark raven hair and piercing blue eyes._

"_I told them it was fun, but like all rides, the fun has to come to an end sometime," replied the second young man with dirty blond hair and blue eyes._

"_Is that how you break things off…." The first man let his sentence trail off as he looked over to see a young girl sitting with her legs crossed next to the window, watching them curiously. He tried to ignore her and continue to berate his friend, but he couldn't tear his eyes away from the saddened look on her otherwise beautiful face. He was about to say something to her when the three of them heard the door below open to sounds of heels clicking on the stairs, followed by a loud shrill as the new intruders bellowed "Mark…Derek! Don't you dare run away from us!"_

_Mark and Derek looked nervously at each other before they ran inside the door marked 5__th__ Floor. Meredith couldn't help but smile as she sat patiently waiting for the girls to make their presence. She listened the clicking of heels as it got louder and louder. She would occasionally hear one of them moan about how her fabulous legs were not made for this much walking and she had to put her hand over mouth to suppress a laugh._

"_Markie! Where are you, honey?" asked a tall leggy brunette wearing a short skirt and skimpy top as she reached the top of the 5__th__ floor. She saw Meredith looking curiously at her and asked "Have you seen two guys running through here?"_

_Meredith didn't say anything. She was shocked and slightly disturbed at their attire. An equally tall redhead moved from behind the brunette and asked "Honey, did you see anyone come through here?"_

_When Meredith didn't respond, the brunette declared "Oh my god, she's deaf! Look at her she has no clue what we're even saying."_

_Annoyed with the both of them and no longer amused, she said "I've been here the last 20 minutes and haven't seen anyone come through here."_

_As soon as the girls were gone, Meredith turned her head to the door to see it open to reveal both men standing there with a big sigh of relief on their faces. Seeing the sunlight shining through the golden tresses of her hair, Mark walked up and extended his hand before saying "We owe you big, my golden girl. My name is Mark and that's Derek," he said, gesturing behind him to where the dark haired man stood. "You must be new here. What's your name?"_

"_Meredith," she said, tentatively holding out her hand _

_She came to find out that they were twenty-one and shared an apartment on the same floor as her. They were interns at Manhattan Memorial Hospital, each aspiring to become surgeons._

* * *

_Meredith's dream jumped forward to the night of her 18__th__ birthday. She remembered sitting alone in the apartment, dressed in an indigo colored spaghetti strap dress her mother had her assistant buy for her birthday present. Against her better judgment, Meredith had agreed to go to dinner with her mother. The assistant had called and coordinated the date, time and location of the dinner down to the last minute detail. Meredith hated and resented her relationship, or lack thereof, with her mother. She knew her mother had no more a desire to go through with this façade than she did. She remembered complaining to Derek and Mark about the absurdity of her mother trying to take on the "loving mother" role when she'd spent a good part of Meredith's life making sure she was miserable._

_She sat in complete darkness and stared at the clock, watching as the minutes passed to hours and still no call from her mother. According to her assistant, her mother was supposed to pick her up promptly at 7pm and it was already a quarter past 9pm. She didn't know why she had let it affect her, but silent tears began to stream down her face as she sat wallowing in yet another broken promise. _

_She was so deep in thought that she hadn't noticed that it started raining outside. The heavy raindrops beat with unrelenting force against the big glass windows that made up one entire wall in the living room. Suddenly the room was bathed in light as a streak of lightening flashed high above the high-rises illuminating the dark room. Meredith began to panic, her pulse quickening to an erratic beat, as she sat waiting for what was sure to come. The loud thunderous noise rang in her ears as it rolled across the dark grey skies. Meredith flinched in fear and laid down on the plush couch, curling her legs up to her chest and covering her ears to she tried desperately to drown out the punishing roar against the sky._

_Derek cursed the heavy rain as he ran down the street that led to his apartment. He had just finished his 12 hour shift at the hospital and was returning from the store where he had gone to pick up Meredith's birthday present. The rain was starting to come down in heavy sheets and he was grateful he reached the front lobby before he got soaked. Leaning against the elevator, he thumbed the small box in his pocket and smiled to himself as he thought about Meredith and couldn't wait to see her face when he gave it to her. If he closed his eyes, he could see her smiling sweetly at him, her bright green eyes that could melt your heart with just one look. He'd been captivated with her from the first time he laid eyes on her, sitting alone in the stairwell looking so sad and lost. It took a while for her to open up to him and Mark and the first time he heard her infectious laugh, he knew he was hooked._

_As he exited the elevator, he heard the loud rumbling sound of thunder crashing above and his thoughts immediately flew to Meredith. He knew she was scared of thunder and thought to call and check on her when he remembered she had dinner plans with her mother. He never liked Ellis Grey. She was the top cardiothoracic surgeon at the hospital he was interning at and although he respected her skills as a surgeon, he hated the way she treated Meredith._

_As he walked by her apartment, he thought he heard a soft whimper coming from inside. His brows furrowed together in confusion as he distinctly remembered Meredith telling or rather yelling to him and Mark about the dinner tonight. He pressed his ear against the door and strained to listen for any movement inside. After a few seconds, he heard another soft cry and he began to panic._

"_Meredith. Are you in there?" he asked, his heart beating wildly as he waited for an answer. His question was met with another whimper. "Meredith, it's me. Can you open the door?" He reached for the door handle and tried to turn it only to find that it was locked. He cursed Ellis for abandoning Meredith and leaving her alone on a night like this and began to jiggle the handle with a little more force. "Open the door, Meredith. Please." _

_As he stood there waiting for an answer, silently praying she wasn't hurt, he remembered that Ellis had given them a key to her apartment in case of emergency. He sprinted down the hall to his apartment and pulled out every drawer in the kitchen, leaving a mess in his wake, as he finally found what he was looking for._

_Meredith was still curled up in the couch her head buried under a pillow as she squeezed her eyes shut and prayed the thunder would stop. She thought she heard Derek's voice and peeked out from underneath the pillow only to discover that she had imagined it. She was about to bury her head back under the pillow when she heard someone fumbling with the locks on the door and let out a sigh of relief thinking her mother had returned. The door opened with a loud crash as she looked over to see Derek standing in the doorway, his chest rising and falling as he tried to catch his breath._

"_Derek?" she asked, confused to see him standing there. "What are you doing here?"_

"_I heard…," he paused to take a deep breath "…are you okay?"_

"_The thunder. Derek…I don't…it…scary," she struggled to speak. Locking the door behind him he closed the distance between them in a few short strides and pulled her into her arms. "I know, honey."_

"_My mother…she didn't show up," she looked up at him with tear filled eyes. "She didn't even call. I waited and it started raining and the thunder got really loud and I couldn't move. I'm so scared, Derek."_

_She jumped when another wave of thunder came rolling through, flooding the room once again in light and Derek was able to see the fear in her eyes. He reached down and picked her up easily into his arms. "Where are we going?" she asked as she wrapped her arms tightly around his neck._

"_There are too many windows here. I'm taking you to your room."_

"_Okay," she whispered, resting her head against his broad chest. She jumped again when another wave of thunder hit and cried out his name._

"_Shh…I'm here now and I'll keep you safe. Try not to think about the thunder. Here…listen to my heart beating," he said as he sat down on the bed, still cradling her in his arms. "Do you hear that? Count the beats. It'll help you fall asleep. Shh…my love. I'm not going anywhere."_

_He held her still for a few minutes until he saw her eyes flutter close and listened to her breathing until he knew she had fallen asleep. Being careful not to wake her, he shifted their position so he could gently lay her down on the bed and pull the covers over her frail body. As he moved back from the bed, he felt her hand reach out and grabbed his arm._

"_Please don't leave me," she pleaded, her eyes opening to look deeply into his._

"_I won't," he said, smiling at her reassuringly. "Close your eyes and get some sleep."_

"_Will…will you lay with me?"_

"_Meredith, I don't think that's a good idea."_

"_Please" she begged, tightening her grip on his arm._

"_Okay," he reluctantly agreed as he laid down next to her. Meredith shifted in the bed and moved her head to fit comfortably in the crook of his neck, her hand reaching out to rest on his chest._

"_I'm happy you're here. You're my hero.' she whispered. "I hate thunder."_

"_I'm happy I'm here too and I know." he replied._

"_Derek?"_

"_Yes."_

"_I love you," she said as she snuggled deeper into his arms._

_Derek's body stiffened at hearing her say those words, but he figured she only said that because she was grateful he was there to distract her from the thunder. "You're cute. I love you too," he gave her a play pat on the top of her head, trying to ease the tension._

"_No, Derek. I really love you."_

"_I know," he said, his voice teasing._

"_Dammit!" she snapped, moving her head back to glare at him. "Stop treating me like a little child! I LOVE you and I want you!" The amused look on his face fell as her lips came crashing down on his._


	10. Chapter 10

_::flashback continues::_

_The kiss took Derek by surprise and he opened his mouth to protest only to release a moan as Meredith's tongue darted inside and began to mate with his. The hand that had been resting on his chest reached up into his hair and grabbed a handful, tugging at its silken strands causing him to wince in slight pain._

"_Meredith," he groaned, breaking the kiss. "We shouldn't do this."_

"_You don't love me?" she asked, the hurt in her eyes struck Derek hard in the chest._

"_Of course I love you." He reached a hand up and cupped her face. "But we shouldn't do this…it's not right."_

"_It feels right to me," she answered, looking deeply into his eyes. "I've never felt this way about anyone before. When I'm with you, I feel safe…loved…wanted. I'm in love with you, Derek. I'm not a little girl anymore so please don't treat me like one. I know what I want and I want you…I've always wanted you."_

"_Mer—." He barely finished the sentence before his lips came crashing down on hers, his tongue pushing against her lips demanding entry. She smiled into their kiss and opened her mouth so his seeking tongue can make with hers._

"_Derek, please…," she moaned, shifting her weight so she lay on top of him, the dress falling in soft folds around her body. He took a deep breath, taking in her intoxicating scent._

_Relishing the new sensation of having her lithe body on top of him, he opened his eyes to gaze deeply into hers. "Please what?" he teased, as he felt her hips gyrating against his making his groin harden._

"_Please make love to me." she whispered, her pulse racing. "Please…" she pleaded when he hesitated. _

"Are you sure about this? If we do this, there is no going back," he asked, holding his breath as he waited for her answer.

"_Yes," she said barely above a whisper._

_Taking a deep breath, he wrapped his arms around her and maneuvered their bodies so he was now lying on top of her. The soft curls fell away from her face to fan across her pillow, forming a golden halo that accentuated her perfect features. "You are so beautiful."_

_Lowering his mouth, he blew inside her ear causing her to shiver and moan as he lightly nipped at the soft lobe before trailing hot kisses along the length of her throat, only to stop and linger just above the bodice of her dress. She let out a deep satisfied moan as she felt his hot breath fan her heated skin. "Derek…," she whimpered as his lips brushed lightly against the soft valley between her breasts, his tongue flicking out to lick its soft flesh._

_The silky fabric of the dress did little to hide her aroused state as her hardened nipples strained against it, begging for release. Moving back up her body, his hand reached behind her to find the zip as he deftly pulled it down. The spaghetti strap fell off her shoulder and averting his gaze from hers, he let his hand trail a lazy path back around her shoulder to pull the strap further down her body. Smiling satisfactorily to himself, his eyes moved to rest on her perfectly shaped breasts as they lay exposed to his adoring appraisal._

_He lowered his head and took an aching peak into his hot mouth as his tongue teased the hardened nipple. Meredith felt a sudden jolt shoot up her spine at the contact and lifting her hips off the bed, she pleaded with him, moaning and jutting her hips against his throbbing penis. "Oh my god, Derek! Please…." He released her breast and heard her make a guttural groan at the lost of contact. Without a moment's hesitation, he moved to her twin and gave it the same attention as he sucked and nipped at its peak._

"_Do you like that?" he asked as his fingers moved underneath her dress to rest at her core._

"_Oh my god…yes!" she screamed when his hand moved her panties aside and the pad of his thumb grazed lightly against her clit. Her hips rose off the bed of their own volition and he smiled at her eagerness as she moved her hips in a circular motion against his fingers._

"_Meredith, are you a virgin?" he asked as his fingers slowed its assault on her body._

"_What?" she asked, her mind in a confused haze._

"_Am I going to be your first?" he asked, holding his breath hoping she would say yes._

"_Yes, Derek. I want you to be my first and…last," she looked at him tentatively, unsure of how he would react. "Is that okay?"_

"_Of course it is," he replied, his chest swelling with pride and love for this wonderful creature. "I love you."_

_Planting a soft lingering kiss on her lips, he moved off her and sat up on the bed beside her. He reached inside the pocket of his trousers and pulled out a small blue Tiffany box. "I was planning to give this to you tomorrow, but now is as good a time as any to give you this." He extended his hand out to her, holding the box in the palm of his hand and smiled as he saw her eyes tear up._

"_Derek," she said looking at the small box and then back up to him. "You didn't have to."_

"_I didn't?" he teased, pulling his hand away. _

_She lunged forward and fell onto his chest as she reached for the box. "Since you went through all the trouble, the least I could do is accept it." She held the box up close to her heart and smiled at him excitedly. "Can I open it?"_

_He nodded his head and watched as she carefully flipped the top open to reveal a diamond and sapphire pendant. "Oh my god, Derek…it's beautiful!" she squealed as she wrapped her arms tightly around his neck and began to rain kisses on his lips, eyes, cheeks and nose, leaving nothing untouched. "I love it!" She reached inside and carefully removed it from its hold. "Can you help me put it on?" _

_She handed the necklace to him and watched as he undid the clasp. She pulled her hair up and leaned forward so he could put it on. With his face a few inches from hers, she closed the gap between them and kissed him, her lips teasing as her teeth playfully tugged on his lower lip. As soon as Derek had the clasp securely fastened, he reached both hands up and cupped her face so he could deepen the kiss, letting his tongue delve deep into her mouth. He felt himself harden and broke the kiss as he let out a sharp curse._

"_What's the matter?" she asked confused by the sudden change._

"_We can't do this tonight," he said, pulling away from her._

"_Wh-why not?" She was confused and wondered if she did something wrong._

"_Protection," he stated simply. "We don't have any protection and as much as I love you and want to be with you tonight, we can't."_

"_Derek, it's okay," she whispered as she moved her hand to rest on his lap, her fingers feather light as it trailed up his leg to rest on his throbbing manhood._

"_Mmm, Meredith…don't," he warned as his eyes darkened into deep pools of desire. "Oh my god, Meredith. If you don't stop doing that, I'm not going to be able to…oh god!" he moaned as she unzipped his pants and dipped her hand inside to stroke him. "We can't. Please don't make this hard for me," he pleaded as she continued her slow assault. Gathering what little willpower he had, he reached down and pulled her hand away._

"_You didn't like that?" she asked nervously._

"_No, I did," he reassured her. "I liked it a lot and that's the problem."_

"_Why is that a problem?"_

_Smiling at how sweet and naïve she sounded; he squeezed her hand and said "Because, my love, if we don't stop doing that, it will lead us to doing other stuff that we shouldn't be doing without some form of protection."_

"_But it's okay because I'm on the pill," she replied eagerly, missing the shocked look on his face._

"_You're on the pill? But I thought you said you haven't done this before."_

"_I haven't."_

"_Well then why would you need them?" He pulled his hand away and looked at her with hurt in his eyes._

"_I need them to stay regular, you dummy," she said, playfully slapping his arm and waited as he realized what she meant. "You're a doctor, you should know this."_

"_I'm not going into obstetrics, Mer. How am I supposed to know it can be used for other stuff besides the obvious?"_

"_Oh, that's right you want to be a brain surgeon. That makes me feel SO much better. Phew!" she teased, dramatically wiping the back of her hand across her forehead, feigning relief._

"_That's right, missy!" he said, lunging forward to push her back onto the bed and began tickling her. "I'm going to be a rich and famous, world-renowned brain surgeon and all the ladies will swoon at the dreamy doctor." _

_Amidst her fit of laughter, she stopped and tried to control her giggling as she asked "Dreamy? Seriously?"_

"_Don't you want me to be dreamy?"_

_She sat back and tapped her chin with her finger, pretending to ponder the question. "Mmmm…no."_

"_No? Why not?"_

_She shifted their position so she was back on top of him. She gazed deeply in his eyes and said between kisses "I.want.you."_

_A broad smile spread across Derek's face as he pulled her head down so he could deepen the kiss. Her mouth opened willingly to his invading tongue as they kissed and touched each other with feverish hands. Meredith let out a soft moan as she felt Derek's erection pushing up against her stomach. Breaking the kiss, she moved her legs and sat up to straddle him. With her dress still open in the back, she yanked it up and over her head and carelessly tossed it on the floor. Derek's eyes deepened to a dark shade of blue and releasing a desperate sigh, he reached out to cup both breasts in his hands and began to massage and knead them until her nipples tightened into hard rosy buds._

"_Oh my god, Derek," she moaned as he tugged on her nipples. Seeing that he was still fully clothed, she began to undress him, bending down to kiss his chest as each button was released from its hold. Derek continued to massage her breasts, eliciting a moan from her as he tugged on her nipples. Unable to wait any longer, she grabbed his shirt and ripped it open, causing the remaining buttons to fly in all different directions in her room. "I need you now, Derek. I've waited three long years for this and I can't wait anymore." _

_Her hands went to his belt and with deft fingers she undid the buckle along with his pants and began to tug frantically on his pants, pulling it down his hips. Pieces of clothing were recklessly strewn all over the room as Derek flipped her around and sat up to quickly undress. Once he was naked, he joined her back on the bed and rained kisses along the column of her throat, down the valley of her breasts, across her flat stomach to her navel where his tongue darted out to lick and tease, blowing his warm breath against the wet spot and sending sparks of electricity shooting up her spine and tickling her core at the same time. The dual sensation caused Meredith's hips to buck off the bed as she mindlessly reached for him._

_Trailing a slow erotic path from her breast, down her ribcage, his hand came to rest on her. He smiled as he felt how wet she was. Using his fingers, he gently parted her folds and slowly inserted one finger into her heated warmth. "Oh god…oh my god, Derek!" she screamed as his finger began to move in and out of her. With little restraint, she pushed her hips up into his hands and began to move her hips back and forth, intensifying the sensation of him stroking her insides. "Please don't make me wait too long," she moaned as he began to move faster._

_Meredith grabbed his hair and screamed his name as she felt her inner muscles contract and she climaxed into his hands. Derek continued to move his finger in and out of her, prolonging her orgasm. He waited until her orgasm subsided and moved his hand to shift their position so he was on top. He leaned down and kissed her deeply before he used his thigh to gently nudge her legs apart. She smiled and opened her legs so he could fit comfortably in between. She let out a soft gasp as she felt the tip of his erection brush up against her aching core._

"_I'll be gentle, but this is going to hurt a little," he said, planting a swift kiss on her lips. "Look into my eyes and stay with me, okay?" _

"_Okay," she replied, biting down on her lips when she felt him gently push into her, his movement slow and controlled. Meredith felt a sharp pain as he pushed himself fully into her, she squeezed her eyes tightly and bit down on her lips harder until she tasted blood._

"_Look at me, baby," he whispered. "Relax your muscles. I promise the pain will be over soon." She opened her eyes tentatively and looked at him as she nodded her head and slowly relaxed her muscles. He began to withdraw from her and the pain that she felt was soon replaced with a new wonderful sensation as he pushed slowly, tentatively into her. He felt her muscles stretch and close around him as he began to quicken his pace._

"_Oh my god, Derek. That feels so good," she moaned as she raised her hips off the bed to meet this powerful thrust. Her hands moved to cup his bottom as she encouraged him to go deeper and faster, her head writhing from side to side as she welcomed each long deep stroke. "Derek!" she moaned, squeezing his ass, loving the feel as his muscles flexed in her hands with each driving thrust. It didn't take long before she felt her muscles contract and she cried out as she climaxed around him. Derek began to pump harder and faster as he felt his own climax start and screamed her name as he released into her._

_::end flashback::_


	11. Chapter 11

Meredith stirred in her sleep and opened her eyes to see Cristina watching her curiously. "Hey," she said her voice still groggy from sleep.

"Hey," replied Cristina, grinning at her. "You look good. Not as good as me, but…good."

"Mm…I feel good." Stretching her arms, she sighed contentedly and said "I'm numb; I can't feel any pain, so I'm good…very, very good."

"Derek must've done wonders for you."

"Wha-what do you mean?" she asked nervously as she remembered her dream.

"Well…you say you feel good, and you look good, and…whatever it was you were dreaming about sure as hell _sounded_ good," smirked Cristina as she saw her friend's shocked face.

"My…my dream?" she asked, her pulse quickening.

"Uh-huh."

Feeling the heat rise, her cheeks turned a deep crimson red as she asked "Did I…?"

"Moan?" Cristina offered. "Yes…you did. Over and over and o—"

"I got it!" snapped Meredith, her cheeks turning an even deeper shade of red. "Why are you here so early? Don't you need your beauty sleep or something?"

"I don't need sleep to perfect my already perfect features," quipped Cristina.

"So you think," hissed Meredith as she shifted uncomfortably in her bed.

"Hmmm…," mumbled Cristina with a smug look on her face.

"What are you "hmm-ing" about?"

"You."

"Me?"

"You're still in love with him," stated Cristina as she studied her carefully.

"No, I'm not in love with him!" she denied.

"Liar," retorted Cristina as she sat down on the chair. "Do you know how I know you're lying? Because I'm a liar."

"I…I'm not lying," she said weakly. "He has a girlfriend and I have…Peter."

"He has a girlfriend?"

"Yes, he has a girlfriend," replied Meredith, her voice terse. She was annoyed at having to be reminded of that fact, even though she knew she had no right to be. Her head was spinning with a myriad of emotions and as much as it pained her to see him happy with someone else, the simple fact is, he's happy. "She's ugly…very ugly, except that she was tall and blond and beautiful."

"How do you know this?" asked Cristina.

"I saw her. She was being the perfect doting girlfriend, making him laugh and touching him…and…and making him laugh…and did I mention the touching?" she rambled, forgetting that she was supposed to convince Cristina she _wasn't_ in love with him.

"You're jealous."

"I'm NOT jealous!" she yelled, her blood boiling. "I mean, seriously, who touches that much in public?"

"You get that you're being unreasonable, right?"

"I'm stuck in a freaking hospital with a broken leg…my ex as my doctor…his perfect girlfriend playing tongue hockey with him, while I have…you," she snapped. "I have every right to be unreasonable!"

"Yeah…clearly you're not jealous," replied Cristina drily.

"I can't love him, Cristina," she said looking at her with a sad defeated look. "He has someone else and he's happy. After all the pain I've caused him, I should just walk away and never look back."

"You did that once and where did that get you?"

Surprised at her friend's tone, she wiped a stray tear from her face and turned to look out the window. "I didn't have a choice."

"You didn't have a choice back then, but you do now."

"And what choice is that, Cristina? Break up a happy relationship?" She turned to glare at her friend, the tears threatening to fall. "I can't do that. I _refuse_ to do that! I'm not like my mother. She ruined my chance at happiness and I'm not going to do that to Derek. Not again."

"I'm not asking you to ruin his happiness, Mer. If you run away now, he will never know the real reason you left. I've seen the way he looks at you and this thing between you is far from over."

"He looks at me with contempt."

Her snarky comment earned her a reprimanding look from Cristina. "Have you given him reason _not_ to?" Releasing a deep frustrated sigh, Cristina reached inside her bag and pulled out a large manila envelope and handed it to Meredith. "Here."

"What's this?" replied Meredith, looking at the packet then back up to Cristina.

"I was going to wait until you've fully recovered, but since you'll be here for a few more days, I brought you a new script."

Unable to read the look on Cristina's face, she reached inside and pulled out a stack of paper, loosely bound together. Meredith read the title 'Let Love In' and turned to give Cristina a curious stare.

"It's a great story and I think you should do it."

"You read it?"

"I read it while I was stuck inside my hotel worrying about you." She could see the guilt flash across her friend's face and softened her voice. "It's really good, Mer."

"What is it about?"

"Just read it."

"I'm in a lot of pain and I don't feel like eating, much less read. If this is as good as you say it is, then tell me what it's about, otherwise you can tell the producer I'm not interested."

"Fine! It's a story about two people who through an unfortunate event in their lives became separated, only to reunite eight years later. They opened their hearts and learned to _communicate_ with one another and were able to heal the old wounds and love again."

"Is this a joke?" asked Meredith, gripping onto the script so tight her knuckles turned white. "You are not being funny, Cristina". Her lower lip trembled as she desperately fought back the tears.

"Well, well, well…how's my girl doing?" Both women's head turned to the door to see an average height man with brown hair and brown eyes saunter into the room.

"What the hell are you doing here?" yelled Cristina as she stood from the chair, giving the intruder a death glare.

"I came to see my fiancé," he said, emphasizing the last word to get a rise out of Cristina. "I've been worried sick about her. I haven't been able to think, eat, or sleep thinking about her."

"You were so worried that it took you close to a week to come and see her," replied Cristina disbelievingly. She could see out of the corner of her eyes that Meredith was uncomfortable over their exchange of words, but talking kept her from giving in to the overwhelming urge to strangle him and wipe that smug look off his face. "You know what I think? I think you came here today to make sure you still had your meal ticket."

"Meal ticket?" he asked aghast at her accusation. "I don't need Meredith's money. I have a thriving sales business and my career in movies is taking off."

"So selling shoes on eBay has become a thriving sales business now, has it?" asked Cristina, her voice mocking. "You're a worthless piece of shit and if you know what's good for you, you will leave here and never come back."

"Is that a threat?" he asked, looking like he was ready to pounce. His hands curled into tight fists as he sneered at Cristina. "You bitch."

"That's right, I AM a bitch. And this bitch will make you pay severely if you ever hurt—"

"Enough!" The loud cry from the bed startled them both into looking over to see Meredith sitting upright in the bed, enraged.

"She started it," he tried to explain, taking a step toward Meredith's bed.

"She started it?" mocked Cristina. "What are you? Five? You fucking pansy."

"I said enough!" she yelled, her voice louder than before. Turning to Cristina, her eyes softened as she asked her to leave the room. Cristina tried to protest, but she gave in eventually. As she walked by Peter, she heard him mutter something derogatory under his breath and in her anger she faked a lunge at him. This sudden move caused Peter to squeal as he jumped back. Cristina gave him a smug satisfied look on her face and moved her finger up her throat to run from one side of her throat to the other, giving him a warning look.

* * *

As soon as Cristina cleared the room, Meredith turned to Peter and demanded "What the hell are you doing here?"

"That's not a nice thing to say to your fiancé," he said, pouting at her terse question. "I came all this way to see how you were doing?"

"EX fiancé and you wasted a trip here today. Please leave."

"Did I do something wrong, baby?"

"Are you fucking kidding me?" she yelled, the anger evident in the rise and fall of her chest. "You cheated on me, you lying bastard!"

"Baby, you misunderstood," he tried to explain, taking a step forward.

"Stop right there!" she demanded, holding her hand up in mid-air. "Do you think I'm an idiot? I saw you two kissing, nearly ripping your clothes off in full view of my guests."

Willing to admit defeat, he let out a sigh and tried pleading her. "It didn't mean anything. I love you and you love me. We're getting married soon. I promise it was a one time thing and it will never happen again."

"We are NOT getting married! And don't you ever use that word to describe what we had. I made a mistake letting you into my life and that is a problem I'm going to rectify right now."

"Mer—"

"I want you out of my house by this weekend," she hissed, her breathing erratic as she tried to control her nerves.

"You think you can get rid of me that easily?" he sneered, his attitude doing a complete 180 degree turn. "Let me tell you something, you slut. Yes, I cheated on you and do you know why?" He moved closer, his voice laced with venom as he continued to berate her "Having sex with you is like having sex with a corpse – cold, stiff, unfeeling. I found someone who could satisfy me…a warm body to give me what you never could. When I met you, you were _nothing_. I made you into what you are today. I was the one who suggested coming to the States and look what that earned you? An Oscar. You owe me and you are going to pay up."

"Am I interrupting something?" asked a calm and collected voice. Meredith looked past Peter and her teary eyes clashed with a pair of piercing blue eyes. She let out a deep sigh of relief as she saw him standing there surveying the scene in front of him, his eyes turned to a cold steely blue as they fell upon Peter.


	12. Chapter 12

"Who are you and what are you doing in here?" asked Peter, his voice abrasive. He didn't like being interrupted and his annoyance by it was clearly etched in every line on his face.

"I would think that is pretty obvious seeing as how we are in a hospital," replied Derek, his voice still calm and collected as he made a quick downward glance to his scrubs and white coat before returning once more to look at Peter with cool indifference. "I am Meredith's doctor."

Meredith's ears perked up and her body shook slightly when she heard him refer to her by her first name. It felt warm and personable and her heart swelled in her chest as a soft smile flitted across her face.

Peter's annoyance only intensified upon hearing the familiar way in which he had addressed Meredith."Well, she is doing fine so there is no need for you to be here," he replied, casually waving his hand as if to dismiss him.

Although Derek's anger was reaching its boiling point, he managed to stay collected as he looked past Peter to Meredith, his eyes questioning hers as if to ask if she was okay. He could see the distressed lines on her beautiful face and the slight shake of her head only confirmed what he had already suspected. "Meredith is _my_ patient so I will decide if she is doing fine or not."

"Oh yeah? Well, I'm her fiancé so that trumps you any day." He crossed his arms over his chest, his legs spread apart in a stance that screamed victory as a smug grin spread across his face.

"We are not competing here," Derek stated simply as he furrowed his brows, wondering what it was Meredith ever saw in this guy. "My main concern is my patient's recovery and I do not believe you are helping Meredith by being here."

Angered that he was not able to get a rise out of Derek, he raised himself to his full height, albeit still a few inches shorter than Derek, to try to intimidate and yelled "I am her fiancé, goddammit, and I will stay if I damn well want to!"

"Excuse me for saying this, but I believe that you are not her fiancé anymore," replied Derek, coolly. He knew he crossed the line by saying that and in all honesty, he should have left it alone for Meredith to handle, but he did not like seeing the worn, defeated look on her face.

"What did you just say to me? How dare you listen in on a private conversation? What kind of hospital is this?" Peter rambled, spewing questions as he looked back and forth between Derek and Meredith.

"This is a highly reputable hospital. One that takes good care of their patients and their overall well-being," replied Derek proudly as he looked at Meredith and earned an appreciative smile in return. "For the record, I did not listen in on your conversation. When you choose to blatantly disregard all the patients here and raise your voice, do not blame anyone but yourself if your private matters are heard."

"I..."

"It is best that you leave this hospital…immediately."

"Who the hell do you think you are?" yelled Peter after finding his voice again.

"We've already established that, but if you need to be reminded—"

"You're badgering a patient!" accused Peter, his face flushed. "I demand to talk to the Chief."

"The Chief is unavailable and I am second in charge," replied Derek. "Now what was that you said about badgering a patient?"

"I…you…you asshole!"

Derek found himself slightly amused by the outburst. He's had to deal with irate family members or friends of patients before, so being called names did not affect him as Peter had hoped. From the corner of his eyes, he could see Meredith shaking as she wrapped her arms around herself.

"Please leave Peter" Meredith pleaded, her voice weak and hoarse.

"Shut up!" he yelled, jerking around to face her, his eyes dark with fury.

Derek saw Meredith flinch and cower slightly, the hurt and pained look in her eyes as she turned away to hide the tears. He remembered that look. It was a look she used to have whenever her mother fell into one of her spells of rage and depression that always resulted in her flinging vicious accusations at Meredith for ruining her marriage and essentially her life.

He had had enough and in a few short strides, he closed the distance between them as he moved to stand between Peter and Meredith. "That's it. You're done here." His voice was low and threatening as he turned to face Peter, his full height intimidating as he leaned in over Peter. "I will not allow you to talk to her this way. I've asked you to leave nicely. If you choose to ignore my request, I will have security throw you out…or perhaps I can give you a _personal_ escort." His anger was seething; the implications of what the personal escort would involve came across loud and clear in his cold steely eyes as they looked upon Peter.

For a split second he saw fear in the man's eyes, but that was quickly masked by anger as he took a few steps back to distance himself from Derek. "I'll leave," he said through gritted teeth. "You have not heard the last of me and my lawyer will be calling."

"I look forward to it," Derek replied, his voice cool and controlled as he crossed his arms over his chest. Derek knew his feeble threat meant nothing and wouldn't carry much weight if it ever made it into court, which he doubt would even happen.

"This is not over. We'll talk when you get home, Meredith." He tossed that comment over his shoulder as he walked out, whistling under his breath.

Once Peter was out of the room, Derek walked over to the phone by her bed and lifted the receiver to his ear as he punched in a few numbers on the dial. While he waited for the call to be answered, he stole a glance in Meredith's direction and saw her watching him, her eyes soft and sweet as they held his gaze.

He gave her a small comforting smile as he heard a male voice on the other end of the phone. "Hi John, it's Derek."

"_Hey buddy, what do you need?"_

"There's someone leaving the south-east end of the hospital that I need you to keep an eye on."

"_Sure. What's his stat?"_

"Average build, medium height, brown hair, brown eyes, wears a green sweater and tan cords. He answers to the name Peter…," he trailed off as he looked at Meredith questioningly, waiting for her to provide the last name. "Leighton. His name is Peter Leighton…do you have all that?"

"_Got it. I take it this will be his last visit here."_

"Yes."

"_Not a problem. I'll have my men find him."_

"Thanks. I owe you." Derek heard John give the information to his security personnel as he directed them not to let him leave their sight until he was off the hospital premises.

"_Enough to let me kick your ass at poker this week?"_

"Gotta go."

"_I'll take that as a yes."_

Derek was laughing as he hung up the phone. Meredith couldn't help but smile at hearing him laugh again. It always made her heart jump in her throat when she was younger and eight years apart hasn't changed that.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," she lied.

"You're fine," he repeated her answer, knowing very well that she wasn't. He knows that when she says she's fine, she isn't.

"Did he hurt you?" he asked, looking at her for any signs of physical abuse.

"No," she replied as she began to fidget with the hospital band on her wrist.

Derek stood for a moment watching as she tugged at the plastic band and knew that she was scared and nervous. She had a habit of fidgeting with things whenever she was nervous. He reached out for her hands and held them still in his until the shaking stopped.

* * *

"She did _what_ to her hair?" Cristina asked the person on the other end of the call. Her voice was filled with disbelief and annoyance as she forcefully shook the coffee machine, causing a few of the passers-by to turn and stare at her. "You piece of shit!" she yelled as she took a step back and kicked the bottom of the machine. "What? No, I'm not talking about you. This goddamn machine took my money and won't give me my coffee," she explained into the phone, changing her tactic to pressing every button on the display. The machine began to make a loud beeping noise as people began milling around to see what all the commotion was. "Listen, I gotta go. Find out who owns the salon and get in touch with her. The media is going to have a field day with this one and we need to get to her before she starts talking. Thanks Ellen! You're the best. Tell Nikki she did a great job with LL. Bye."

She hung up and placed her phone inside her bag and turned to address the crowd "I'm sorry. Today has been a real shitty day and this stupid machine has decided to make it worse. Please accept my apology." She gave a half-hearted smile and turned back to the machine, releasing a heavy sigh as she stared at it. "To hell with you," she said quietly as she bent to pick up her bag.

Just then, a hand reached out from behind her and lightly tapped on the front of the machine. The beeping stopped and she watched as a cup slid down into the holder and hot coffee began pouring out of the dispenser. She turned and looked up into a pair of baby blue eyes. "Thank you," she said, unable to look away from the handsome stranger.

"My pleasure," he replied, his kind eyes smiling. "These machines can be a bit temperamental. You have to be patient with it." He reached down and took the steaming cup of coffee, holding it out to her.

"Thank you again," she said, taking it from his strong fingers, her eyes never leaving his.

"The name is Mark Sloan." He extended his hand and smiled as she took it into hers. He gave it a soft squeeze as he looked at her, waiting for her to give her name.

"Cristina Yang."

"Are you visiting someone?"

"Yes," she replied. "My friend is staying on this floor."

"Is your friend having surgery?"

"No," she replied, slightly confused by his question. "Why do you ask?"

"We are standing in the surgical wing of the hospital," he explained.

"Oh. No…my friend is not having surgery. She was in an accident a few days ago and suffered a broken leg."

"I see," he replied, smiling at her. He was intrigued by this woman and was relieved to discover the friend she was visiting was a female.

Cristina felt the heat rising in her cheeks and turned away to look at her watch. She frowned slightly at discovering that an hour had passed, which meant that she had left Meredith alone with Peter for that long. "Uh…I have to go," she said, hurriedly bending down to grab her bag.

"So soon?" asked Mark, disappointed at not having more time to get to know her.

"I have to go back to my friend," she explained, tossing her head back as she began walking away, trying not to spill the coffee over her as it sloshed around in the cup.

Mark saw the direction she was headed and thought of Meredith. She looked so sad when he dropped her off yesterday that he decided it would be a good idea to pay her a visit and make sure she was okay. This would also give him a chance to get to know Cristina and find out if she has a boyfriend or husband hiding somewhere. "I'll walk with you," he said as he fell into step beside Cristina, giving her a winning smile, showing off his perfectly white teeth. "I, too, have a friend staying here. She has a broken leg…wait a minute," he said as he started making the connection. "Are you _the_ Cristina as in, Meredith's friend Cristina?"

Cristina stopped in her tracks and turned to look up at him suspiciously. "I am. And you are?"

"_Mark Sloan_," he emphasized his name, surprised that Meredith never mentioned him. "Meredith and I go way back."

She continued to eye him suspiciously as she assessed whether he was a fan or from the media. "How far back do you know her?"

Mark was taken aback by her clipped tone, but he figured that she was doing this for precautionary reasons. "I met her when she was 15. She and her mother, Ellis Grey, moved from Boston to Manhattan after her parent's divorce."

"What's her favorite color?"

"Indigo."

"Favorite ice cream?"

"Pistachio."

"Favorite snack?"

"Doritos with marshmellows and cold pizza."

Cristina was a little surprised by that answer since no one besides her know of her odd craving for Doritos and marshmellows, but she continued with her questioning "Favorite movie?"

"Grease and the Rocky Horror Picture Show. She likes musicals," he said, smiling fondly as he remembered those nights when she would force him and Derek to watch all sorts of musicals. "Derek and I never liked watching it, but we would've done anything for our golden girl."

"You know Derek?" she asked, her eyes softening slightly.

"Derek is my best friend. The three of us were best friends until Meredith…," he trailed off as he remembered that night in Central Park. "Yes…I know Meredith," he finished, looking at her with sad eyes.

"I-I'm so sorry if I was rude with all the questions," Cristina stuttered. "I believe you. It's just that you have to be careful in this business. Meredith is my best friend and it's my job to make sure no one tries to hurt her." Which is why she needed to get back to her room, she thought to herself.

"It's okay, I understand. I'm glad you're taking care of her. She didn't have an easy childhood and needs someone to watch over her." His thoughts immediately went to Derek as he released a sad sigh, trying to figure out how he was going to get him to talk to Meredith. "Shall we?" he gestured with his hand, letting her lead the way.

Mark and Cristina were laughing and talking animatedly about Meredith when they rounded the corner and nearly collided into Kendall.

"Markie!" she exclaimed, stepping back. "You scared me."

"Kendall. What are you doing here?"

"I came to look for Derek and bring him lunch," she replied, holding up a take out bag. "Do you know where he is?"

"Nope," he said brusquely, seeing Cristina looking at Kendall curiously.

"One of the nurses said they saw him over here," she replied, looking from Mark to Cristina, then back to Mark.

Mark cleared his throat and introduced the two women. "Cristina, this is Kendall Smith, Derek's girlfriend." Turning to Kendall, he said "Kendall, this is Cristina Yang, she's visit—"

"Oh my god, are you _the_ Cristina Yang?" squealed Kendall as she shoved the bag into Mark's hand and grabbed Cristina's hands.

Cristina looked uncomfortable and annoyed as she tried to pull her hands back. "I am."

"You're Meredith Grey's publicist!"

"Yes."

"Oh my god, I'm her biggest fan!"

"Th-thank you," replied Cristina, unsure of how to react.

"Derek and I saw her yesterday and I wanted to meet her but he said she needed to rest, which is a shame because I would've loved to meet her." She looked at Cristina, her eyes pleading as she waited for her to respond.

After a long pause, Cristina reluctantly said "Derek did such a wonderful job taking care of Meredith and I feel as though I owe him, so perhaps I can arrange for you to meet her."

"Oh my god!" squealed Kendall once more. "I would love that! Are you going to her room now? Can I come? I promise to be quiet."

"I don't think that would be a good idea," said Mark.

"No, it's okay," said Cristina. She knew Peter would still be there and this would be a perfect reason to get rid of him. "Let's go." She smiled at Kendall and the three of them began walking towards the room.


	13. Chapter 13

Meredith's heart was pounding against her chest, her ears were ringing and her breathing was shallow as she sat on the bed with her hands still in his. The fear and anxiety she felt earlier was replaced with a whole new set of emotions as she looked away to keep Derek from seeing the affect he was having on her.

"Meredith," said Derek as he slowly withdrew his hands from hers "I need to ask you something and I want you to be honest with me."

Meredith's pulse quickened and her throat felt dry as she looked at him, knowing that he was going to ask her what happened that night eight years ago. She'd thought long and hard about taking Mark's advice and explaining to Derek, but she hadn't figured out what to say to him. How could she tell him that she left because her mother threatened to ruin his surgical career – a career that he wanted so badly? How would she explain that she was pregnant and when her mother found out, had tried to force her to have an abortion? How was she going to tell him that she lost their baby because of her stupidity and carelessness?

"Meredith?" Derek tentatively reached out to give her arm a light shake.

"Wh-what?" she said, snapping out of her thoughts. "I'm sorry…go ahead and ask your question." She felt a lump form in her throat and tried to swallow it down, but the act of doing so made her wince in pain as her throat tightened even more.

"Has he ever hurt you before?" Derek questioned, seeing her facial expression go from worry to confusion.

"What?" she asked. "Who are you talking about?"

"Peter," Derek replied, giving her a quizzical look.

"No…never," she quickly answered, recovering from his unexpected question. "He's never laid a hand on me…in that way," she finished, giving him a weak smile. She looked down at her hands, feeling slightly disappointed that he didn't ask about them.

"Okay," he nodded his head. He believed her, but there was something about her sudden change in behavior that he couldn't quite figure out. "I know it's not my business to ask, but I still care about you."

Meredith's head shot up to look at him, her voice hopeful as she asked "You do?"

"I do," he said, moving to sit down on the bed, facing her. "I know things didn't end well with us, but eight years is a long time to hold a grudge."

"Yeah…," she agreed, feeling the immense weight of her guilt crushing her as she saw the deeply pained look in his eyes. "I'm sorry. I know I'm eight years too late in saying that, but I really am."

"-----"

"Do you…do you ever wonder what it would've been like if we stayed together?" Meredith didn't know what drove her to ask that question. She knew she was opening up old wounds, but a part of her needed to know if he was as affected by their loss as much as she was. She held her breath as she waited for him to answer, her eyes imploring as they looked upon his.

"I did," he finally confessed after a long momentary pause. "I thought about it for days…months…maybe even years after you left. Thinking about us kept me sane, but in the same breath, it drove me crazy with thoughts that maybe it wasn't enough…that _I_ wasn't good enough for you…that I wasn't deserving of your love."

"Derek…," she sobbed, her voice strained as the tears streamed down her cheeks."Oh god…I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry I hurt you. It was me…_I'm_ the one who didn't deserve your love. Oh god…please don't ever think that you weren't good enough, because you were. I've loved you since the first time I laid eyes on you and I…I…I still…" She was so overwrought with emotion that she couldn't finish the sentence before her sobs became more frantic and hurried as the tears came faster, making her hiccup.

Derek reached out and pulled her into his arms, her head instinctively moving to rest in the crook of his neck. It felt so good to be in his arms again. She exhaled a deep angst-filled sigh and released all the tension from earlier, allowing herself to fall deeper into his warm embrace as she cried. "Shh," he whispered into her hair, his hands running up and down her back to comfort and still her body as it shook.

Together, they sat holding each other until her cries subsided and her ragged breathing returned to normal. "Please don't hate me," she pleaded, her head still nestled between his neck and shoulder.

"I don't."

Willing herself to move, she reluctantly pulled back and looked at him. "You promise?"

"I promise," he said, smiling at how sweet and childlike she seemed then. He reached his hand up to brush a stray tear, his thumb lightly grazing its silky skin. Meredith let out a soft gasp as she felt his hand cup the side of her face, his thumb gently stroking her flushed cheek as it trailed lower to her lips.

Derek was having an internal struggle with himself. His mind was telling him to stop, yet his hands were moving of their own volition. His eyes were transfixed on her lips as his fingers moved across its swollen flesh, gently parting them to his touch. As if his mind were no longer his own, he moved closer so their lips were inches apart, his warm breath fanning her cheeks. Meredith's heart was beating erratically in her chest as she let her eyes flutter shut and waited with bated breath for the feel of his lips on hers.

The kiss was soft and tentative, neither one wanting to do more than explore each other's lips. Meredith's pulse quickened as she opened her eyes slightly to see Derek kissing her and if it weren't for his warm breath fanning her flushed cheeks or his lips moving ever-so-lightly against hers, she would have thought she was dreaming. With a soft shudder, she let her eyes flutter close and parted her lips further to allow his tongue to slip inside to seek and mate with hers. Her hands reached of their own accord up to twine into his dark raven curls as she gently tugged on its silky strands.

With a low groan deep in his throat, Derek's hand reached out to her slim waist and pulled her close as his other hand went around her back to curl his fingers into her hair. Meredith let out a soft whimper in protest when he broke the kiss, only to smile and let out a guttural moan in satisfaction when his mouth moved to trail a hot path of feather-light kisses along her jaw line, down the smooth column of her neck, across the exposed skin of her shoulder as he kissed and nipped on the soft flesh. Feeling the heat pooling at her core, Meredith's head fell back in complete abandon as her body swayed closer to nestle against his muscled chest. "It's been so long. God, I've missed you," she whispered into his ear, her teeth lightly grazing his earlobe.

Hearing Meredith utter those words snapped Derek back to reality as his mind came crashing down and he remembered that they were in her hospital room. Releasing her from his hold, he abruptly stood up from the bed and moved to the other side of the room, distancing himself from her as much as possible.

What the hell just happen? How did he go from the anger and resentment he felt from her leaving him all those years ago to holding her in his arms and kissing her?

"Derek?" she called to him, her eyes searching as she tried to read his expression.

"I'm sorry, Meredith. I shouldn't have done that." He ran a frustrated hand through his hair and averted his eyes as he lowered his head in shame.

"Didn't you want to kiss me?" she asked, her voice hurt as she saw the way his body tensed up at her question.

"I…," he began in an attempt to explain, but all words failed him as he looked at her imploringly, his eyes pleading for her to understand. "Meredith, I…"

"Don't," she interrupted. Her hope was diminishing as she looked at his face. "I know what you're going to say, so please—"

They both turned their heads at the sound of someone knocking on the door. Derek looked from the door, back to Meredith and waited as she opened her mouth and hesitated before saying "Come in".

They saw the door open slightly and Cristina poked her head inside as she looked around the room, searching for Peter and instead saw Derek standing there. Her brows furrowed together in obvious confusion as she wasn't expecting to see him. "Shit!" They heard her mutter under her breath as she turned to Meredith and asked "Am I interrupting?"

By the looks on their faces, Cristina knew that something had happened. She silently berated herself and looked to see Meredith shaking her head no, but the distressed lines around her eyes clearly indicated otherwise. Cristina looked at her apologetically and said "I…uh…I hope you don't mind a visitor."

"A visitor?" Meredith asked, trying to think of who else would be visiting her here. "Who?"

"It's Kendall Smith. She's Der—"

"Wait!" Derek's sudden outburst caused both women to look at him. "Kendall…as in _my girlfriend,_ Kendall Smith?"

Meredith flinched at hearing him refer to her so intimately and turned to glare at Cristina, waiting for her answer. Her eyes shot daggers at Cristina as she saw the slight nod in confirmation and Cristina mouthed the words "I'm sorry".

"Is it okay, Mer?"

Derek released a heavy sigh, feeling slightly embarrassed as he said "I'm sorry about this, Meredith. Kendall is a fan of your work and when she saw you yesterday, she wanted to meet you but I told her you weren't feeling well." He tried to explain, but he knew he sounded ridiculous.

"If you're not feeling up to it, I can—"

"No, that's okay Cristina. I would love to meet her," she answered, stealing a glance in Derek's direction to see him watching her intently. She gave him a small half-smile to let him know she was okay with this even though deep down she dreaded having to meet the woman who had his heart.

Cristina left the room only to return a few short seconds later with Mark and Kendall in tow.

"This is awkward," Mark mumbled under his breath so only Cristina could hear as his eyes fell on Derek, then over to Meredith.

"Derek," said Kendall in surprise at seeing Derek in the room. "Honey, what are you doing in here?"


	14. Chapter 14

"I came to check on Meredith's progress."

"This isn't a neuro case, is it?" she queried.

"It's not," he stated simply. "I'm only doing this as a favor to the Chief." Out of the corner of his eyes, he could see Meredith cringe and he regretted his words as soon as they came out. He turned to give Meredith an apologetic look but got a cold stare in return.

"Oh," replied Kendall, her brows furrowed together as she wondered why he didn't mention it before. She studied his features and noticed that he looked distracted as he shifted from one foot to the other. "Are you okay? Your cheeks look flushed. Are you coming down with something?" She quickly moved to his side and raised her hands to his face, cupping it in her hands.

Meredith had to bite down on the inside of her mouth to keep the anguished cry from escaping her lips as she watched the affectionate way Kendall was stroking Derek's face, her concern clearly visible in her eyes. As much as she envied Kendall, she could see that she truly cared for Derek.

"I'm fine," Derek replied, smiling down at Kendall. "It's been a long day, that's all." He reached his hands up and his fingers laced together with hers, effectively removing her hands from his face as he dragged them down to his side. He looked past the top of Kendall's head to Meredith, his eyes silently pleading as it fell onto her swollen lips and moved lower still to rest on a small but distinct red mark on her shoulder. He felt the heat rise as he remembered the kiss they shared and knew that he was the one who'd given her that mark.

"I don't know about anyone else, but I didn't come all this way to see Derek," Mark drawled casually as he moved from the door. He could see the tension mounting and had to do something to ease the pained look on Meredith's face as she watched the way Kendall's body brushed up against Derek's. "How is my golden girl doing today?" He walked up to Meredith and leaned down to pull her into a warm embrace as he kissed her cheek.

"I'm doing better now that you're here," replied Meredith, quickly recovering as she allowed herself to be enveloped by Mark's strong comforting arms. "Thank you," she whispered in his ear as he gave her another gentle squeeze and moved to sit next to her on the bed.

Meredith was relieved of the distraction Mark had provided as it gave her time to gather her thoughts and remind herself that Derek was not hers…not anymore. The kiss never should have happened and she would be better off to forget that it did. Putting on a bright smile, she turned to Kendall, avoiding Derek's eyes and said "Hi Kendall, it's nice to meet you."

Her eyes lighting up, Kendall turned around and smiled warmly at Meredith as she said "It's so nice to meet you too. I hope you don't mind the intrusion. I just love all your work and when I ran into Mark and Cristina, she was kind enough to let me come by for a quick visit." She turned to give Cristina an appreciative smile before turning back to Meredith.

"I don't mind at all. To be honest, I was rather bored being stuck inside this room with nothing to do, so this visit is a nice welcomed change," said Meredith, keeping her eyes from straying to Derek's as she saw his body tense up.

"I know you must hear this a million times, but you truly are a gifted actress," Kendall gushed as she continued to hold Derek's hand. "Was acting something you always wanted to do?"

"No," she answered truthfully.

"Really?" replied Kendall, her interest peaked. "So you never wanted to be an actress?"

"Acting was something I did early on as a means to escape reality…to become someone else...to take on a personality completely different from my own," she explained. "Being able to morph into a new persona used to give me a rush…a thrill. But now…I feel as though something is missing in my life." She felt a lump forming in her throat and looked away.

"I can't imagine what you could be missing. You have it all – a successful career, the envy and admiration of all your adoring fans, and the love and support of your fiancé."

The reference to Peter stung as she recalled the events from earlier. How did her life get so complicated over the course of these past few days? She was supposed to be happy, yet here she was talking to a woman she's supposed to hate on principle but instead found herself liking. She was supposed to be married in a few months, but now have to deal with getting rid of her ex-fiancé from her soon to be ex-home. She was supposed to be happy, dammit!

"Not everything," she whispered so low that Mark was the only one that caught it.

"You forgot to mention the love and support of her friends," added Mark. "Namely - one very important, wickedly sexy, sinfully handsome, charming, charismatic, rich and successful surgeon by the name of Mark Sloan. Isn't that right, beautiful?"

Meredith's grin spread from ear to ear as she gazed adoringly at Mark. He always knew how to make her feel better and she desperately needed it then. "I don't know how I managed to last all these years without you," she replied, smiling sweetly into his eyes.

"Eight years is a long time and you've got a lot of making up to do."

"Me?" she questioned.

"Yes, you. You made me fall in love with that cute giggle of yours then leave me high and dry," he teased, tapping the tip of her nose playfully with his index finger.

"You're right. What can I do to make it up to you?"

"For starters, you can set me up with that hottie Kate Beckinsale."

"She's married!" exclaimed Meredith.

"Never stopped me before," he said, cocking his brow suggestively.

"You're absolutely incorrigible," she giggled.

"Ah…there's the giggle I love and miss."

Derek felt a hot rage of jealousy shoot through his body as he watched the interaction between the two of them. He hated to admit it, but he was actually envious of Mark's relationship with Meredith. After all this time, Mark still had the innate ability to make her smile, whereas all he succeeded in doing was confuse and make her sad to the point of tears.

"Am I missing something here?" Kendall's question broke into Derek's thoughts. She, too, noticed the interaction between Mark and Meredith and asked "Do you two know each other?"

Mark gave her a blank stare, thinking it was rather obvious but decided to answer her. "I've known Meredith since she was this scrawny little spitfire back in New York. You were what…fifteen…when we met?" Meredith nodded her head in agreement. "I remembered the day when you moved into our building and turned our lives upside down with your infatuation with musicals and the need to save every injured squirrel, cat, dog or bird that crossed your path. You always had a sweet heart and I don't know about Derek, but I was completely enamored with you," he teased.

"D-Derek?" asked Kendall as she turned to Derek in confusion. "You know Meredith?"

Derek could feel everyone's eyes watching him intently as they awaited his answer. He needed to think of something quick and the longer he delayed, the more awkward it seemed. He could see a guilty, almost apologetic look on Mark's face as he sat next to Meredith, a few feet behind Kendall. Derek gave him a "you're going to pay for this later" look and turned to Kendall to answer "Yes".

He cringed at his inability to think of a more intelligent response, but sometimes simple answers work the best. He just hoped Kendall would be satisfied with his answer and not pursue it in the presence of everyone.

"Oh," she answered thoughtfully. "So the three of you were close?"

"Some more than others," replied Mark without thinking. This earned him a slap on the arm by Meredith as she gave him a reproachful look.

"What do you mean by that?" Kendall asked as she looked at Mark, confused by the odd way everyone was behaving.

"Nothing," answered Mark as he absently rubbed his arm where it still stung from Meredith's slap. "I meant nothing."

"It didn't sound like nothing."

"Well it was," came his terse reply as he felt heated glares coming from Derek, Meredith and even Cristina as she stood to the side observing the scene that was taking place.

The hurt look was clearly evident in Kendall's face as she nodded her head, unable to think of a response. Mark noticed it and felt like a complete ass. "'I'm sorry," he muttered, giving her a faint smile.

His apology worked for Kendall's eyes lit up and she gave him a broad smile to let him know his apology was accepted. "So you guys were close? That's nice."

The silence that followed was deafening as no one dared to speak. Mark had decided to keep his mouth shut or risk being hurt by Meredith. Derek did not want to speak because it was too painful to bring up the past. Meredith, on the other hand, decided to put the topic to rest by giving what she thought was the best answer until the words came out of her mouth.

"Derek and Mark are like brothers to me."

Derek, Mark and Cristina's heads shot up all at once to look at her. She felt their heated stare, but tried her best to remain calm despite the pounding in her chest. Mark made a small, barely audible groan under his breath as Cristina looked disapprovingly at her. She didn't dare look at Derek because she was afraid of what she would see or…not see.

"Oh good," replied Kendall with a heavy-hearted sigh. "For a second, I thought there was something going on between you two." She gestured from Meredith to Derek and with a quick dismissive wave of her hand, said "Now I can see I was being stupid for thinking such a thing. Silly me." She giggled and pressed herself up closer to Derek, reaching for his hand.

Meredith tried to keep her eyes from straying to where his hand was intertwined with Kendall's. For a second time in the last thirty minutes, she felt a hot surge of jealousy shoot through her as she watched the way they touched. Her mind strayed to before they were interrupted when those very same fingers were tangled in her hair, pulling at it as he kissed the soft lines of her throat. She let out a soft gasp that did not go unnoticed by Cristina, as her body remembered the feel of his pressed up against hers.

"Yeah, silly…" agreed Meredith softly, her voice trailing off.

"So I have to ask, what was it like growing up with these two?"

"It was quite an experience," replied Meredith as she found the courage to look straight at Derek. "One I'm not likely to forget."

"Brothers?" Mark interrupted, finding his voice again. "Seriously?"

Meredith turned to him and said through gritted teeth "Yes! How else would we explain our love-_hate_ relationship?" She stressed the word hate for his benefit, telling him with her eyes not to utter another word.

"Gotcha," replied Mark. The mischievous look in his eyes worried her but she knew he knew better than to upset her.

"My mother was rarely around when I was growing up and when we moved to New York, these two sort of took me in as their little sister. They owed me for getting rid of two very, um…assertive girls," she explained to Kendall.

"Assertive?"

"Very assertive and if I recall, they also had quite the colorful taste in clothing…or lack thereof," she joked.

"Hm…interesting," replied Kendall, a smirk playing across her lips. "I guess I should be grateful that Meredith came into your life."

Derek felt the heat rise in his face and cleared his throat before turning to address Meredith. "I…uh…I think we've taken enough of your time. We should go and leave you to rest."

"But—." Kendall tried to protest, but she conceded and said in a disappointed voice "It was very nice to meet you Meredith. I didn't think it was possible, but I like you even more now that I've had a chance to talk to you."

"Thank you. It was nice meeting you too and I hope to see you again."

"Oh, I would love it!" exclaimed Kendall, her eyes lighting up. "Congratulations on your engagement. Your fiancé is a very lucky man, just like I am with my Derek."


	15. Chapter 15

On the way back to his office, Derek tried to pay attention to Kendall as she gushed about Meredith but his mind kept going back to her comment about them being like "brothers" to her. Surely, she said it for Kendall's benefit, but he couldn't stop dwelling on it.

"Derek?"

"Hm?"

"Have you been listening to a word I was saying?"

"Of course."

"Oh really? Well, what did I just say?"

"-----"

"That's what I thought!"

"I'm sorry, honey. I was just thinking about the corpus callosotomy I need to do later today. What were you saying?" He was lying through his teeth, but he was grappling for an excuse and that seemed to work.

"I said that I really like Meredith and hope that we can all be friends."

"Yeah, that'd be nice." He lied once more.

"Do you know what I think?"

"What?"

"I think Mark likes her."

"Of course he likes her."

"No, I mean he _likes_ her…likes her."

"What are you talking about?"

"For a brain surgeon, you are so dense sometimes."

"So I've been told," he muttered under his breath.

"Mark has a major crush on Meredith," she stated simply.

"Are you nuts? He's like a brother to her."

"According to Meredith he is, but did you see his reaction when she said it? He didn't try very hard to mask his surprise at her statement. Besides, he was sitting awfully close to her and the flirting was pretty intense. He even admitted to being in love with her."

"He said he fell in love with her giggle," Derek tried to argue the point.

"Same difference."

"He's _not_ in love with her," Derek's clipped response went unnoticed as she continued.

"He IS in love with her and he could barely keep his hands off her."

"I didn't see any of that."

"Of course you wouldn't, honey. These things are foreign to you. I, on the other hand, have very sharp senses and the sexual tension in that room was as thick as the walls around Fort Knox."

* * *

As soon as Derek and Kendall left the room, Meredith turned to Mark and slapped him on the arm.

"Ouch!" he yelled, pulling away from her with an injured look on his face. "What was that for?"

"For opening your big fat mouth."

"I didn't say anything."

"Not now, but you said more than enough earlier."

"I told the truth. I do love you…although all this hitting is seriously making me reconsider."

"You didn't have to hint that Derek and I had a thing."

"But you _did_ have a thing."

"_I_ know that and _you_ know that, but Kendall didn't have to know that."

"What's the big deal if she knows anyway? She probably picked up on the heat you two were giving off. Seriously, Mer…I was getting burned just sitting next to you." He gave her a devilish grin. "If anything, I may have done you a favor by getting rid of her."

"I don't need any favors and I certainly don't want to be the one responsible for hurting him. Been there, done that."

"Who said anything about hurting him?"

"Look," she said with a defeated sigh "I like Kendall. She seems genuine and her feelings for Derek are genuine, so let's just leave them alone."

"She doesn't—" Mark was interrupted by the sudden loud beeping noise coming from his pager. He yanked it off its clip and looked at the display, then back at Meredith. "I have to go, but this conversation is far from over."

"Oh, it is SO over."

He gave her a look one would give a petulant child and turned to address Cristina. "It was very nice to meet you and I hope to see more of you soon." He gave her one of his winning smiles.

The double entendre was duly noted by Cristina and she found herself excited by him as she replied "Likewise."

Meredith picked up on the flirting and rolled her eyes at their cheesy display. Mark turned to Meredith and said "I saw that" before he sauntered out of the room, whistling. She stuck her tongue out at his retreating back and plopped herself unceremoniously back down onto the bed.

"What?" she barked at Cristina as she saw the way her brows furrowed together.

"What the hell was that all about?"

"He started it."

"Don't start with the childish act. I'm tired and haven't had sex in more months than I'm willing to admit and the last thing I need is to coddle a petulant child," Cristina calmly reprimanded Meredith before moving to sit on the chair beside her bed. "I wasn't talking about Mark, although there is a lot to talk about if you know what I mean." She cocked her brow and gave a suggestive wink.

"I do and I think I just vomited a little in my mouth."

"He's hot!"

"If you say so," replied Meredith dryly. "He's like a brother to me so I can't think of him in any other way. It clouds my mind."

"So you really meant the whole "brother" comment?"

"Of course I did."

"But…not with Derek," Cristina quickly replied. "I don't have a brother, but I'm almost certain that brothers and sisters don't do the nasty nasty with each other."

"Derek is different."

"That's a relief!" said Cristina pretending to wipe the nonexistent sweat off her forehead. "For a second there, I thought I'd have to report you to Jerry Springer."

"Shut up." Meredith tried to pretend she was angry, but her face broke into a smile and they shared a good hearty laugh.

"What are you going to do?"

"Nothing."

"You're going to walk away? Just like that?" questioned Cristina, her voice filled with disbelief. "Fate is giving you a second chance to correct what happened eight years ago. Don't make the same mistake twice."

"I don't have a choice, Cristina. He's with Kendall and we may have kissed, but that's all it was and all—"

"Hold up!" interrupted Cristina, holding her hand out to stop Meredith from continuing. "You two kissed? Where? When?"

"Here," she reluctantly answered. "Before the three of you came in."

"No wonder I sensed something was off. Why didn't you tell me to leave when I asked if I interrupted?"

"What am I supposed to say? Please leave so we can continue kissing?"

"Uh…yeah!"

"Uh…no!" mocked Meredith. "It never should have happened and I feel extremely guilty about it now after I've had a chance to meet her."

"All's fair in love and war."

"I never pegged you as a cliché type kind of person and quite frankly, it is rather disturbing. The love you speak of has long gone and there is no war here. She's with him and he's with her. Period. End of story. Finite."

* * *

Three days had passed. Three excruciatingly long days had passed since Meredith and Derek had kissed. It was also the last time they talked, since it now appeared that he was avoiding her. She had half hoped he would come by after Kendall left to talk about what happened, but that hope diminished with the passing of each hour.

Cristina came to visit every day, like she'd been doing since she arrived in Seattle. Mark made the occasional visits on his way to surgery to check on her, but she knew the real reason was to talk to Cristina. He tried to bring up the subject of Derek and Kendall, but Meredith put that to rest by threatening to tell Cristina all his bad habits and more specifically, his man whoring ways.

Sadly, she knew that Cristina would be turned on to know that Mark's views on relationships mirrored hers. According to Cristina, the only attachments necessary in a relationship are those of the physical kind and she meant that in the basest form possible. "Emotions are for the weak" she would tell Meredith whenever she got upset with Peter, which had been happening a lot the last few months leading up to the accident. What Meredith now finds ironic in Cristina's sentiment is her persistence in getting Meredith to talk to Derek and…communicate, which is what Cristina typically avoids like the plague.

Meredith noticed that Richard hadn't stopped by since his visit the morning after she had woken up and decided to ask one of the nurses of his whereabouts the next time they came in for her daily check-up. Her condition was improving exceptionally, except for the fact that she still had a broken leg. Dr. Torres, the orthopedic surgeon, came in the previous day to check on her broken leg and had informed her that she would require a cast for at least another 3 weeks. She re-cast her leg and promised to check up on her before she was discharged from the hospital.

The thought of leaving the hospital brought a mix of emotions to the surface. When she'd woken up to realize that Derek was her doctor, she was adamant about leaving, but now…now she wasn't ready to leave. Derek told her he didn't hate her and they kissed…they actually kissed. She knew she should feel immense guilt for the kiss, but deep down she was elated. Her happiness stemmed more from the fact that there was a possibility that they can mend their broken relationship and at least be friends again. She missed the bond, the closeness that they shared. The innate ability they had to read each other's thoughts and finish each other's sentences. All the hurt and anger had clouded that and where there was once darkness is now a small glimmer of hope.

Exhaling a deep sigh, Meredith laid her head back down on the pillow and turned to look outside the window to see that it had finally stopped raining. She was still lost in her thoughts when she heard a loud shuffle at the door. Turning her head, she saw Cristina walk in with a nasty scowl on her face and knew that something big had happened.

"What happened?" she asked instinctively.

"Peter, the fucking sellout, happened!" Cristina snapped, her eyes blazing with fury

"Shit." Meredith winced at the mention of his name, knowing it wasn't going to be good…whatever it was. "What did he do now?"

"The fucking bastard sold a story to the Enquirer saying that you drove him to find comfort in the arms of another woman because you are cold and unfeeling." Cristina explained. "The lying son-of-a-bitch blatantly cheats on you and tries to play it off like he's the innocent victim!"

"Cris—"

"The media is having a field day with this and the paparazzi are coming out in the masses like hungry piranhas."

* * *

Derek had barely managed to stumble into his office before he collapsed unceremoniously onto the couch and let his head fall back with a loud thump before he closed his eyes. To say he was exhausted was an understatement. The Chief left him in charge three days ago when he had to suddenly take off to deal with a personal family issue. Derek knew he had been having marriage problems and that was further strained by his wife's favorite niece falling sick with a fatal illness. Before he left, Derek promised the Chief we would take care of everything and jokingly said he would not leave the hospital until he returned. What he had intended as a joke, became a cruel reality as every nightmare one can possibly imagine came true. In addition to his current surgery load, he had to deal with the administrative nightmare of a potential strike by the nurses union. Luckily, through lots of luck and charm he was able to convince them to stick around and promised that he would talk to the Chief about a salary increase as well as an increase in staffing when he returned.

As soon as his eyes fell shut, an image of Meredith's face flashed across his mind. His hand absently moved to touch his lips where they had kissed her three days ago. He could not believe three days had passed since they talked. He had every intention of returning to her room once Kendall left, but the Chief stopped him in the hallway and asked him to step in as acting Chief, effective immediately. During the three days, he tried to clear his schedule but never found the time to breathe and eat, let alone allow himself five minutes to see her so instead he went to visit her at night when everyone was asleep and surgery was slow. He would come in around 1am every night and sit, watching her sleep until he fell asleep beside her while holding her hand. Because he was on a set schedule, he would wake up before she did and sneak back into his office and shower to get ready for another long, grueling day.

His eyes were still shut when he heard someone abruptly open his door and without opening his eyes, he knew who it was.

"Don't you believe in knocking?" he asked, irritated with the intruder.

"Why knock when I know I'm always welcomed," came the dry response.

"I'm tired and haven't had a moment's rest since the Chief left me in charge. Now that he's back, I can finally get some sleep so say what you came to say and leave."

"I'm hurt. I'm really hurt and offended," replied Mark, pretending to be insulted.

"Good. Does that mean you'll leave sooner?"

"No. You can't get rid of me that easily."

"I've been trying to get rid of you for the last twenty years; I guess I should be used to your sorry ass hanging around me. What do you want?" demanded Derek in an exasperated voice.

"I came to show you this," replied Mark as he tossed something onto Derek's lap.

Reluctantly opening his eyes, Derek glared at Mark before reaching down to see a newspaper magazine sitting on his lap. "What the hell is this?"

"_That_ is the Enquirer."

"What is the Enquirer?"

"You are so damn clueless sometimes," retorted Mark, rolling his eyes. "It's the tabloid."

"You know I don't read this junk," Derek moved to shove the paper aside when Mark stopped him.

"Read it."

"No."

"Read it!"

"No!"

"Will you read the goddamn cover, already?" yelled Mark.

"Fine, you ass!" Derek jerked the paper up and turned it around, his eyes slowly scanning the front page. "Shit."

"Yeah."

"Has she seen this?"

"I don't know, but I'm going over there to find out."

"I'm coming with you." With a rush of adrenaline, Derek pulled himself off the couch and the two men headed out towards Meredith's room.


	16. Chapter 16

In their haste to get to Meredith, they collided into the Chief as they rounded a corner and almost knocked him to the ground.

"Whoa! Where's the fire?" asked the Chief, giving the pair an odd quizzical look.

"Sorry Chief," apologized the men in unison, their breathing ragged from the sprint they just made across the bridge and down the long corridor.

"We're on our way to see Meredith," explained Derek.

"Oh…good!" smiled the Chief as he gave Derek a firm pat on the back. "The nurses tell me you took really good care of Meredith while I was out. Thank you."

"It's my job," he replied brusquely.

"I know and I appreciate that. You didn't have to stay with her every night and I'm grateful you did. She's very dear to my heart and I would hate for something to happen to her while I was gone."

Derek felt the heat rising in his cheeks and tugged uncomfortably at his shirt collar while trying to ignore Mark as he took in what the Chief had unknowingly let known. "I, uh…we have to go."

"Come by my office later when you're done. I need to talk to you about something."

"Okay." Derek could see Mark's smug grin from the corner of his eyes and he knew he wasn't going to let the Chief's slip-up go unnoticed.

"Since when do we sleep in patient's rooms?" Mark asked as soon as the Chief was out of earshot.

"Since I became the acting Chief. Didn't you get the memo?" replied Derek as he turned on his heel and stormed off in a huff.

"You love her," said Mark as he caught up and fell into step beside him.

"Shut up."

"You're angry," observed Mark, his smile becoming broader. "You're angry because I'm right."

"You're NOT right and I don't love her. I…I care about her, that's all."

Nodding his head in understanding, he said "I care about her too, but you don't see me sleeping in her room."

"And why is that, by the way?" Derek snapped, turning his head slightly to glare at Mark.

"Huh?" Mark's brows furrowed together in confusion.

"What's with all the touching and flirting?"

"What the hell are you talking about? I wasn't flir—. Oh….." Mark's grin got even bigger as it dawned on him what was going on. "You're jealous."

"I'm not jealous!" Derek quickened his pace as he turned another corner.

"You're jealous and you're in denial."

"Shut up!"

"Okay, okay…I'll shut up but can I say one last thing?" Mark flashed him an innocent smile. "I promise not to accuse you of jealousy."

Derek gave him a doubtful look, but turned to him as he waited for Mark to speak.

Clearing his throat, Mark tried his best to give him a serious look as he said "You love her."

"I—"

He was about to deny it when Mark interrupted him and said "We're here!"

Derek wanted to rub that smirk off his friend's face, but they had in fact arrived and he didn't want Meredith hearing them talk about him loving her.

* * *

Derek's breath caught in his throat as he walked in and it all had to do with the blond woman standing inside the room. To say that he was shocked to see her would have been an understatement.

"Kendall? Were we supposed to meet today?" he asked his voice uncertain.

He knew he'd been busy these past few days, but he would have remembered if he had a date with his own girlfriend. Wouldn't he? He barely had time to ponder over his thoughts before Kendall spoke.

"I actually came to see how Meredith was doing."

Derek looked from Kendall over to Meredith's bed where she sat with a pained look in her beautiful green eyes. It was disheartening to see her once vibrant features now looking so worn and defeated with obvious stress lines around her eyes. He gave her a small comforting smile and saw her smile in return.

"I heard what happened and wanted to come by to see if I could help…not that there's much I can do, but if there was, well…I'd want to help," Kendall rambled on.

Derek's eyes fell from Meredith's face to the magazine that was lying at the foot of her bed and his heart sunk deeper in his chest. The mood in the room became tense and heavy as everyone looked awkwardly at one another. Meredith was the first to break the silence.

"I'm grateful to all of you for thinking about me and wanting to help, but I'm afraid there's nothing to do."

"I'm sorry if I'm being out of line, but why _aren't_ you doing anything?" ask Kendall. "He lied and you should demand they print a retraction."

Meredith had to smile at Kendall's naivety. "It's not as simple as that."

"He lied and he shouldn't get away with it," Kendall demanded.

"Yes, he lied, but it's his word against mine and when it comes to the tabloids, they're more inclined to believe the bad stuff." Meredith was trying her best to put on a brave face, despite feeling an overwhelming sense of betrayal. "By tomorrow, the tabloids will be chasing another story and Peter and his lies will long be forgotten."

"You are so strong and brave," said Kendall as she looked upon Meredith in admiration. "If this were happening to me, I don't know how I would handle it."

"I'm not brave nor am I strong. I've had my fair share of heartaches and have shed my fair share of tears, and the one thing I've learned in this business is not to let them see your weakness or they'll eat you alive." Meredith stole a glance in Derek's direction and saw a flash of pain in his eyes as he stood looking at her. "Tomorrow, I'm going to leave here and go back to my home and spend the remainder of my time off in peace and quiet."

"You're leaving?!" Derek could hear himself ask the question, but his mind and body were too numb upon discovering that she was leaving to notice that all eyes in the room had turned to stare at him. He was looking straight at Meredith and for a few seconds, it was as though they were the only two people in the world. "Why? The hospital will give you all the privacy you need to recuperate."

"I can't stay here and hide forever, Derek," she replied, feeling the sting of tears at the back of her eyes. "Dr. Torres has already approved me leaving and all I need is your approval and I will be on my way."

"I won't approve anything until I run more tests to make sure you're a hundred percent okay."

"But—" she began to protest.

"You suffered massive trauma to your body, not to mention the swelling in your brain. This is not something to take lightly and I will not agree to a discharge until more tests are done." He looked at her, his eyes challenging.

Meredith was about to protest again, but she saw the fire and determination in his eyes and knew that it would be useless to fight him on this, so she conceded. "I will stay for another day or two. That should be plenty of time to run whatever tests you need. After that, I'm leaving."

"Fine."

"Fine."

"I never thought I'd say this, but I'm glad that Derek is being stubborn." Mark spoke up from where he sat next to Cristina. "You are still in no shape to go home and have you thought of where this Peter person is right now?"

"What do you mean by that?"

"Well, you two own a house together and chances are he's still living there."

"The house is mine and I already told him to pack his stuff and leave, so he won't be there."

"Actually Mer, he's still there and he refuses to leave."

Meredith turned to Cristina and demanded "What do you mean he refuses to leave? That's my house! He can't do that, can he?"

"Technically…no, but he's really playing up the whole 'cold and heartless' thing and if you force him out with nowhere to go, it will only add fuel to the fire."

"Are you trying to tell me that I can't even go back to my own home?" she demanded, her voice cracking from the all the emotion building up inside her. "Where am I going to stay when I leave here?"

"You can stay with me," answered Mark. "My apartment is small and only has one bedroom, but we'll make it work."

"Stay with you?" asked Meredith, her voice small and weak. "I don't want to be an inconvenience."

"You're not. Besides, I could use the company."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm more than sure." Mark flashed his winning smile and winked at her.

"In that ca--"

"Meredith, I think it's better that you stay at Derek's place. In fact, I insist on it."

Everyone's head whipped around to stare at Kendall, their expressions mirrored one another as they all looked upon her in complete and utter shock at what she had just suggested.

"You want _me_ to stay where?"

"You want _her_ to stay where?"

Both Derek and Meredith asked their questions in unison as they stared at Kendall in disbelief. Mark's jaw was left agape as he waited, along with the rest of the group for an explanation which he knew would be interesting, to say the least. Cristina's expression was unreadable as she carefully eyed Kendall, wondering what her motive was for making such an outrageous suggestion.

"I thought…well…," Kendall stuttered as she tried to regain her composure. "I thought that it might be a better idea if Meredith stayed with Derek instead of Mark. I mean, no offense Mark, but your apartment is small and not the ideal place for Meredith to move around in with a broken leg."

She paused and when no one spoke up in protest to her idea, she continued "Derek's house is big and roomy, which will allow Meredith all the room she needs to move around. Derek is never home so she will have the peace and quiet she needs. I hope I wasn't out of line for suggesting such a thing. I just want to help."

"Thank you, Kendall, but I don't think Derek will want me there and I don't want to intrude on your space," Meredith answered, looking at Derek to see him watching her.

"Nonsense," said Kendall brusquely. "Derek doesn't mind, do you honey?" She turned to Derek and raised her brow, silently telling him with her eyes to agree with her.

"Uh…no." His response came out sounding more like a question than an answer. His brows furrowed together, still unsure of her reason and he made a mental note to discuss this with her in privacy later.

"See?" Kendall turned to address Meredith, a broad grin on her face.

"I really do appreciate your kind gesture, but you and Derek need your privacy and I don't want to be the third wheel."

"Our privacy?"

"Well, yes…you two…don't you live together?"

As much as Meredith liked Kendall, she didn't think she could stomach being in the same house with those two, knowing they shared a bed across the hall from her. Her stomach was already in knots at seeing him again after three long days of wondering about the kiss and now the possibility of living under the same roof with them was too much to bear.

"Oh, no…we don't live together."

"You…you don't?" asked Meredith, more confused than ever.

"No. I share a house with my little siblings," explained Kendall. "I have twin sisters who are sophomores in college and they've been living with me since my parents passed away four years ago."

"Oh," whispered Meredith."So you want me to stay with De—"

"I think that's a wonderful idea," said Mark, a smirk playing across his lips as he looked at her. "Kendall makes a very good point, Mer. My apartment is really too small for you and Derek's is much nicer."

"But—," she was about to protest.

"That settles it!" said Mark ignoring her and standing up clasping his hands together. "Let's get these tests started so we can get you out of here and into Derek's house."

Derek's ears were ringing and he opened his mouth to speak, even though he had no idea what he was going to say. Kendall _wanted_ Meredith to stay at his house? Him and Meredith…alone together at his house? Is this a bad dream or did his girlfriend really just ask his former girlfriend to live with him?

As he stood there, struggling to understand what was going on he was interrupted by a loud beeping noise that was coming from the pager that hung on his waist. He looked at the display and looked up at the small crowd watching him.

"I need to get going." Turning to address Meredith, he said "I'll stop by later to talk to you about the tests and…the other stuff."

Unable to form a coherent thought, she nodded her head and watched as he turned to Kendall and took her hand into his. "Can you walk me out?"

Meredith noticed how soft and sweet his voice was when he spoke to her and she felt a tinge of jealousy curl deep down in her already knotted stomach. It was too much for her and she had to look away to keep the anguished groan from escaping her lips.

"Okay. It was nice seeing you again, Meredith." She smiled to everyone in the room and allowed Derek to lead her out of the room.


	17. Chapter 17

"What's going on, Kendall?" Derek asked as soon as they turned the corridor.

"What do you mean?"

"Why you are so adamant about having Meredith stay with me?"

"It's safer for her to stay with you."

"What the hell do you mean by that?" Derek was confused as hell. Her behavior was strange and he couldn't tell if she knew about him and Meredith or if she was completely in the dark about it. Either way, he was going to get to the bottom of it.

"You're angry," she observed, her voice tentative as she continued. "I know I shouldn't have offered your place but I didn't want her to stay with Mark."

"What's wrong with her staying with Mark?"

"Mark. _That's_ what's wrong."

"I'm not understanding any of this, Kendall."

"Look, I like Mark…I really do, but she's vulnerable right now and her being around him is not a good idea."

"Are you trying to say that you think he's going to take advantage of her?" Derek questioned as the realization began to sink in.

"I know Mark's a nice guy and he cares about her, but she needs time to absorb everything that is happening to her without further complications. Being around Mark may complicate things."

"He's not—"

"I know what you're going to say, but I was in that room too and I saw the way he looked at her. He could barely hold in his excitement."

"Kendall, look—"

"Derek. Please do this for me," she pleaded with him. "She has nowhere else to go without the media harassing her. You have a big house, half of which you barely step foot into. You won't even notice she's there."

* * *

"What the hell just happened?" asked Meredith, looking back and forth between Cristina and Mark.

Cristina shrugged her shoulders in bewilderment as the shock still hadn't settled in, while Mark flashed her one of his 'don't look at me, I didn't do anything' look.

"I think Derek's girlfriend just convinced you to move in with him," replied Cristina, her brows furrowed together at how absurd that must have sounded coming out of her mouth.

"And handed him to you on a silver platter," added Mark, half whispering under his breath but that didn't go unnoticed by Meredith.

"And why is that?" asked Meredith, her voice accusing as she glared at Mark.

"How the hell would I know?" answered Mark defensively. "I told you she was clueless, but never in my wildest imagination would I think she's _that_ clueless. Clearly, I didn't give her enough credit."

"So what are you going to do, Mer?" Cristina asked.

"I have no freaking clue! Derek didn't seem too thrilled about me moving in and I'm not sure if he really wants that."

"Oh, he does," stated Mark, matter-of-factly.

"How do you know?"

"I just know."

"What kind of half-assed answer is that?"

"Hey! I am on your side here. Kendall just gave Derek to you and you are complaining?"

"She didn't just give him to me."

"What do you call putting two people who clearly have the hots for each other in a big empty house alone together?"

"A bad judgment call."

"Be that as it may, but she just did you both a favor."

* * *

It was nearing the end of the day and Derek still hadn't stopped by like he said he would. Cristina and Mark left a few hours ago to go across the street to a bar he had told them about. She closed her eyes wishing she could join them. What she wouldn't do for a drink right now. The day's event was starting to take its toll on her and she needed something to get her mind off it. She heard movements outside her door and opened her eyes hoping to see if Derek had returned.

Her face fell in disappointment when she saw that it was a nurse walking by with a patient. She released a heavy sigh and turned away to stare out into the blue/grey Seattle sky. The sun was beginning to set and she could see the red and orange hue spread across the horizon. She absently reached for the plastic name tag on her wrist and began tugging at it as she re-played the conversation with Kendall in her head. Kendall may have the best intentions at heart, but Meredith couldn't help but wonder if she knew or even suspected that she and Derek had once been lovers. She wouldn't knowingly invite her to stay with him if she knew, would she? What was she up to? Why is she being so nice?

Expelling another heavy sigh, Meredith silently berated herself for being so suspicious of Kendall, yet the seed of doubt was there and she wasn't going to commit to anything until she got her answers. Sadly, she couldn't go straight to Kendall and ask and the next best thing to getting her answers was avoiding her…again.

"I see you still like to bite your lips when you're nervous."

"Derek," she sighed his name, a soft smile playing across her slightly swollen red lips. She turned her head to see him casually leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed over his chest, smiling back at her. In the short distance that separated them, she could feel the magnetic pull of his piercing blue eyes as he looked at her.

"Hi."

"Hi," she replied, her voice barely above a whisper as she tried to control the rush of emotion that came from seeing him again.

Her heart was pounding against her chest as she waited for him to speak. Instead, he continued to stand there, watching her.

_Why did he have to look so good leaning against things? Leaning should be banned…or at least tall, dark, handsome men with piercing blue eyes shouldn't be allowed to lean. Leaning is dangerous_ …she thought to herself.

"I…I'm not nervous," she lied, failing miserably as she tried to break the silence.

"Liar," he grinned, slightly amused at how cute she looked fidgeting with her wristband, which is something else she does when she's nervous.

"I _am_ not!" she insisted, her lips tightening together in petulance.

"You are and you're cute when you try to deny it."

_Did he just say I was cute?_ …she thought to herself.

"Did you just say I was cute?" she asked, voicing her own thought.

"I did."

He casually pushed himself away from the door and moved into her room, shortening the distance between them.

"And…a liar?" she continued to ask, her voice faltering slightly as he continued to take determined steps toward her.

"Hm-hmm."

"And…n-nervous?" she said, her breathing ragged as he took the last step and came to stand right next to her bed. Her neck felt strained from having to look up at him, but she couldn't tear her gaze away.

"Very," was his simple reply as he sat down next to her warm body.

* * *

Derek didn't know why he was flirting with her. Flirting was bad…very, very bad. He hadn't planned to flirt or even sit so close to her for that matter. He came to talk to her about her moving in, but when he saw her biting on her lower lip, he was immediately drawn and lost all perspective. He felt his body move of its own accord and now he was sitting next to her, his thigh brushing up ever-so-lightly against hers.

Instead of moving away as he knew he should, as his mind was screaming at him to do, he did the complete opposite and leaned in even closer. He watched, mesmerized, as her chest rose and fell from her ragged breathing. His left hand reached out and moved across to the other side of her hip where it laid resting palm down to support his weight as he leaned across her.

"Stop doing that!" Meredith demanded as his thumb inadvertently grazed her hip.

"What am I doing?" he asked innocently.

"You're looking at me…and you're flirting…and you're doing the leaning thing again!" she rambled nervously. Her throat felt tight as she glared at him, her eyes challenging him to deny it.

"Leaning?" he asked, trying to hide his amusement.

"Yes, Derek! You're leaning and when you lean and smile like that, it's dangerous. I need you to stop because it's confusing me…YOU'RE confusing me…and I can't be confused right now."

Her voice was strong and firm, but the weak, pleading look in her eyes were contradicting. She willed herself not to move for fear of their bodies touching again, so she lay frozen, waiting for him to move away. He didn't. He sat rooted to the spot which infuriated her more.

"Derek," she warned.

"Fine."

He stood up off the bed and moved to stand next to the window, peering out into the darkening Seattle sky. Meredith noticed the stiffness in his neck and back as he continued to stare out the window. The uncomfortable silence that befell the room caused Meredith to cringe at her crassness towards him and she wanted to apologize, but she didn't dare speak.

Although Derek stood looking out the window, his mind was elsewhere. Kendall's words were replaying over and over again in his head _"…she needs time to absorb everything that is happening to her without further complications"_. He knew she was right and felt like a complete ass for doing what Kendall had feared of Mark. However misguided Kendall's observations were; she was right in saying that Meredith needed time.

"I'm sorry."

His voice was so low; one would've missed it if not for the silence in the room. He continued to stand there with his back to her and she didn't think it was possible, but his back and neck appeared stiffer.

"I'm not looking for an apology, Derek. If anything, it should be me apologizing to you for complicating your life…yet again."

There was a long pause before he answered, his voice soft as he continued to face away from her. "You are and never were a complication, Mer."

Once again, the room fell into silence as Meredith took in what he just said. What does this mean? What does this mean for their relationship? Can they be friends again after all this time? Does he want her to move in with him?

"I have someone that comes by once a week to straighten up and clean the house. Her name is Rubia and she is really nice."

Meredith was confused by this random statement and opened her mouth to ask, but he continued speaking.

"I rarely cook, so more times than not, you will find the fridge un-stocked. If there is anything you need, you can always ask me or Rubia to pick it up for you."

_He's making plans for me to move in_ …she thought to herself, a faint smile on her lips.

"Every third Friday, I host "Poker Night". The guys tend to become loud and obnoxious, especially Mark, but I will try to keep them at bay."

"I'm a light sleeper and—."

"I remember," she interrupted.

Derek's back and shoulder relaxed slightly as he smiled at her simple statement before continuing "Because I'm a light sleeper, I will sometimes exercise in the workout room next to the garage, so don't be alarmed if you hear noises coming from there late at night."

_He works out at night? That explains his toned physique_ … she thought to herself again, her mind straying to thoughts she shouldn't be thinking about.

"The gym is fully equipped with machines to help rehabilitate, so you are welcomed to use it when your cast comes off and you get your energy back."

"That would be nice."

"The house is located in a private community with 24-hour security surveillance. My very good friend, John, owns the security company so you will not have to worry about being harassed by the media or…anyone else."

"Thank you…," she replied, knowing that he was talking about Peter.

"I've requested new tests for you tomorrow and will be by in the morning to bring you down to the lab."

"Okay," she replied, a little excited that he would be by to take her. After a long pause, she asked "Is that it?"

"There's one more thing," he said as he turned to face her and moved to stand next to her bed.

He reached inside the pocket of his lab coat and pulled out a small envelope. Reaching for her hand, he turned it over so her palm was faced up and bent down to place a soft kiss there before he placed the envelope in her hand and walked out.

"See you tomorrow," he said over his shoulder before the door closed on his retreating form.


	18. Chapter 18

**Thank you for all your wonderful comments. It means a lot to me to know you like this story.**

* * *

Long after he had gone, Meredith laid on the bed with the envelope in hand, while her mind zeroed in on the tingling sensation left by his kiss. She closed her eyes and allowed herself a moment of complete and utter bliss as she remembered the feel of his lips and the smell of his hair as it wafted past her nose.

Her fingers closed around the envelope and she felt something hard and sharp pressing against her palm. Opening her eyes, she pulled open the envelope and found a key attached to a card. She carefully extracted the contents and flipped the card over. She recognized his writing immediately and started nibbling on her lower lip as she began to read.

_**To my GG,**_

_**A very long time ago, I made a promise to protect and keep you safe. And even though things have changed between us, the one thing that remains steadfast and true is my promise to you.**_

_**This is the key to my home – a place that very few are allowed into. It is my heart and soul, my place for peace and solitude when I need to escape all the chaos.**_

_**I am sorry you had to endure so much pain and loss these past few days. While I can't change what is in the past, I will do my best, as your friend, to keep you safe in the future. Please take this and keep it for as long as you need.**_

_**Derek**_

A single tear fell from Meredith's eyes down onto the card, making the words blend together as she re-read it over and over again. She didn't deserve this. She didn't deserve his kindness and understanding. She deserved to be hated and ignored. She let out a bitter laugh at how easy things were when he was angry with her. Things would have been less complicated for her when she walks away, but now…now he is being sweet and dreamy and that is something she's never been able to resist.

_I'm screwed_ … she thought to herself as she tucked the card underneath her pillow and closed her eyes.

* * *

Meredith woke with a start the next morning. She opened her eyes halfway to see that the sun had barely risen. She turned to look at the wall clock to discover that it was only 6:00am. With a frustrated groan, she punched the pillow and with her limited mobility, she tried to change her position so she could go back to sleep. Out of habit, she turned on her side and tucked one arm underneath the pillow and stopped when she felt something sharp poking at her skin. Fumbling underneath the pillow, she smiled when she got her fingers around the items and pulled it out. Her thumb absently rubbed the key as she read his note again. Her brows furrowed together when she got to the words "as your friend". She didn't know why she didn't see it last night, but today, those words stuck out like flashing neon lights.

Her stomach felt knotted and she didn't know why. She didn't know why it bothered her because that is all that they can be. She should be grateful that he doesn't hate her and embrace what they have.

"You're up early."

"I could say the same about you."

"I had an early call and wanted to come by to check on you since I'll be, er…busy later."

"Are you sleeping with Mark?" Meredith asked bluntly when she saw the wicked grin on her friend's face.

"A lady never tells."

"I didn't ask a lady, I asked you."

"Bitch."

"Slut."

"I'm happy snarky Meredith is back."

"Me too."

"So what did I miss yesterday?"

"Derek came by and gave me this."

She handed the card and key to Cristina and watched intently as her friend read the note.

"What does GG mean?"

"Golden Girl."

"He's calling you by your childhood nickname and gave you a key to his home? This is big."

"Big is an understatement. This is…monumental!

"Are you going to do it?"

"I think so," she replied, her voice uncertain.

"You _think_ so?"

"He has a girlfriend, remember?"

"Yes and I remember his girlfriend was the one who _insisted_ that you move in."

"-----"

"Look Mer, I'm not saying that you should jump his bones the first chance you two are alone…and putting the whole "pining for your long lost love" thing aside, you know this is your best option."

"I know," she agreed, her voice solemn.

"I hate to admit this but it's taken me a little longer to get rid of Peter. He's the reason why I was up so early today. The media is really playing into his slimy hands and he's stopping at nothing. If you go to a hotel, you will never get any peace and you are in no condition to travel."

"I know."

"Why are you so agreeable today?"

"You're right. I have Derek and that's all I need," She realize what she said and quickly tried to cover up. "I mean, I don't have Derek, I just--"

"Relax Mer. I know what you meant."

"Good. Now help me get ready."

"Get ready for what?"

"Derek will be by shortly to take me down to get the tests."

"And you want to look good for him."

"Yeah…" she whispered softly to herself as she tried to contain her excitement at seeing him again.

* * *

Meredith was laying in bed, listening to music on her iPod and softly humming to herself. Cristina had helped her get ready and had long since left, claiming she had people to call to help her with her new plan to get rid of Peter. Meredith had her eyes closed, so she was completely oblivious to the fact that someone else was in the room with her.

Derek heard her singing as he walked by her room. Since he had his schedule cleared so he could take her to do the tests, he decided to come by early and look in on her. He smiled softly to himself as he leaned against the door, listening to her god-awful singing.

_You got to not talk dirty, baby_

_If you wanna impress me_

_You can't be too flirty, mama_

_I know how to undress me (yeah…)_

_I want to be your fantasy_

_Maybe you could be mine_

_You just leave it all up to me_

_We could have a good time_

Her voice started getting louder and louder and fearing for the other patients on the floor, he walked inside and opened his mouth to beg her to stop when his eyes fell upon her. She was leaning back against the bed with her eyes closed, a soft smile on her plush lips as she sang. Her hair looked freshly washed, the soft golden curls framing her face as it fell in soft rivulets around her slim throat and shoulder. Her cheeks were rosy and her lips were inviting as she stopped singing and began to hum to the rest of the song.

With slow purposely strides, he moved closer and came to sit down on the couch, a few feet from her bed. She could not sing to save her life, but he loved to watch her facial expressions.

The song finished and she opened her eyes to change her selection to a different album when she spotted him, sitting there watching her with an amused smile on his face.

"Don't you just love Prince?" she asked, trying to control her erratic heartbeat as her eyes literally ate him up.

"More than life itself," came his dry response as he leaned back in the chair and crossed one leg over the other.

"Don't you knock?"

"I would have, but I didn't think you would hear me through all that, um…singing."

"Are you saying I can't sing?"

"I wouldn't dare," he replied, grinning at her little pout. "Can I give you some advice, though?"

"I guess."

"Don't quit your day job."

"You…you…ugh!" She struggled to find something smart to say and finally gave up. Instead, she reached for an empty cup next to her bed and threw it at him, hitting him squarely on his forehead.

Absently reaching his hand up to rub the spot on his forehead, he smiled and looked at her. "I see your temper is still as hot as ever."

"Ugh!" she puffed, angered that she didn't get a rise from him. "I only get hot when I'm around YOU!"

The smile on Derek's face became even bigger as he took in what she said. Meredith, on the other hand, realized her slip-up and tried to cover it up.

"I…uh…I meant my temper gets hot…not …not _me_. I don't get hot when I'm around you." She closed her eyes momentarily, silently praying that this was a very bad dream and she would wake up to find him gone. She could feel the heat rising in her cheeks, which only proved that she does get hot around him. She was doing it right now…in full view of him and it was humiliating as hell.

Derek's laughter reverberated throughout the room as Meredith sunk low in her bed and pulled the covers over her head.

* * *

"C'mon, Florence Nightingale. Come out of there."

Derek tried to pull the covers off, but it was pulled taut and she was refusing to let go.

"No!" Her voice was muffled as she resisted, gripping onto the corners of the sheets even tighter.

"I was kidding with you. You have a beautiful voice, now come out of there before you suffocate."

"You don't mean it. You're just trying to placate me."

"That's true."

"Argh! I hate you!"

"You don't hate me."

"Alright, I don't. But you are my _least_ favorite person right now."

"Meredith. Please get out of there or we're going to miss your appointment which means I won't be able to take you home."

_He won't be able to take me home._ … She stopped struggling for a few seconds to ponder over those words. It sounded so personal, so intimate.

Very slowly, she lowered the covers and peeked over the top of the blanket and looked directly into his eyes. Her heart jumped in her throat as she noticed how handsome he looked, standing there with a small glimmer of amusement in his smiling eyes.

"Home?" she asked, her voice tentative.

"Yes. Home." He pulled the covers back and brushed a few strands of hair from her face.

"Is my voice that bad?"

"You have a beautiful voice," he soothed as he tried to help her sit up. "It just sounds sweeter when you're talking, that's all."

"Why do I have a feeling there was an insult in there somewhere?"

"No insult, I promise."

"Okay."

"Can we get going now?"

"Okay."

"Let me go grab a wheelchair and I'll be back."

As soon as Derek left the room, Meredith reached into her small bag by her bed for her compact. She flipped it open and began to frantically tidy up her disheveled hair and checked her lip gloss to make sure it looked okay before he returned.


	19. Chapter 19

**Thank you for reading my fic and your wonderful comments!**

* * *

Derek was in a mad rush to get back to Meredith. The Chief stopped him as he was on his way to thank him again for his help during his absence. To show his gratitude, the Chief offered to give him the weekend off to recuperate because according to him, he "looked like shit". Derek spent the rest of the walk back wondering if he really did look like shit and if that was what Meredith sees when she looks at him. He knew he was in desperate need of sleep, but the Chief's comment had him thinking he looked offensive.

He was so deep in thought, he wasn't paying attention when he rounded a corner and collided into the back of Mark's legs. The impact took both men by surprise as Mark fell back and landed unceremoniously on the chair.

"You know, this is NOT how I like to be swept off my feet," said Mark with dry sarcasm as he tipped his head back to look up at Derek, batting his eyelashes suggestively.

"Get up!" Derek demanded as he gave his friend a look of indifference.

"That's it? You take me from behind and now you want to get rid of me?"

"You're sick and perverted," replied Derek. "Besides, you're not my type. Now get up! I'm in a hurry."

"I can tell. Are you going to see Meredith, by any chance?" Mark asked as he continued to sit on the chair, looking at Derek with interest.

"Yes. Now get up."

"Give me a ride. I'm headed over there to see Frank."

"No! Your ass is too heavy."

"C'mon, give me a ride. It's the least you could do."

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Pretty, pretty please with a cherry on top?"

"Ugh…fine! If I give you a ride, will you promise never to beg like that again? I think I'm going to have bad dreams for weeks on end."

"So you dream about me too?"

"Only when I'm having a nightmare."

"That's funny."

"What's funny?"

"Meredith said the exact same thing to me the other day."

"She did? She's still the little spitfire, I see." He laughed at the thought of them both saying the same thing. "How does it feel to give people nightmares?"

"I'll let that snide remark go, if you tell me what Kendall has up her sleeves."

"What are you talking about?"

"You know exactly what I'm talking about."

"No, I don't."

"Okay. Let me speak slowly so you do understand…You. Meredith. Home. Alone. TOGETHER! Get the picture?"

"If you want to know why Kendall suggested Meredith stay with me, it's because of you."

"Me?"

"You."

"What did I do?"

"She thinks you have a "thing" for Meredith," replied Derek, embarrassed to be having this conversation with Mark. It was like high school gossip between two adolescent teenagers.

"She thinks I have the hots for Meredith?" Mark asked, his face spreading into a big satisfied grin as he tried to suppress a laugh.

"Yes."

"Did you correct her and tell her that it's YOU who want to get into Meredith's pants?"

"No, I didn't and I don't want to get into Meredith's pants."

"Liar," said Mark, disbelievingly.

"I don't!" snapped Derek. "I…I like having her around. She makes me laugh and I feel…I feel different when I'm with her."

"She completes you."

"Are you quoting from Jerry McGuire?"

"Maybe," said Mark before clearing his throat. "So what does this mean for you two?"

"Nothing. Kendall is STILL my girlfriend and Meredith is…. Well, she's Meredith…and I promised to take care of her and that's what I'm doing."

"Hmmm…," pondered Mark as he raised his hand to his chin, pretending to think. "Let me get this straight. Kendall thinks I want Meredith and so to protect her from "big bad wolf Mark", she offered your place instead?"

"Yes."

"Oh, this is brilliant!" exclaimed Mark as his head fell back in fits of laughter. "This is SO much better than what I could've planned."

Derek could feel his cheeks burning and was thankful they had arrived at Mark's patient's room. "We're here. Now get out."

Taking in a deep breath to compose himself, Mark stood up and wiped the tears from his eyes and adjusted his coat before he said "You know, I think I'm starting to like Kendall after all."

* * *

Fifteen minutes had passed and Meredith was getting antsy as she waited for Derek to return. She had fluffed and re-fluffed her hair so many times; she was sure she looked like a poodle. In her nervousness, she began nibbling on her lower lip which effectively removed the gloss she had carefully re-applied earlier.

_Where the hell do they keep the wheelchairs in this damn hospital?_ … she thought with a frustrated sigh.

Just then, she heard some shuffling outside and Derek came charging in with a wheelchair. He seemed a little breathless and slightly winded as he stopped short upon entering her room and looked straight at her.

Derek had to stop to catch his breath. It wasn't the sprint across the hospital while pushing Mark that made him lose his breath, but rather, seeing her sitting up in bed with her hair falling in soft curls around her face. Her lips were red and swollen and he knew by looking at them that she had been biting them again. His heart jumped into his throat as he was struck once again by her natural beauty.

Derek cursed to himself as he felt something stir inside him. He needed to remind himself that she was off limits and they were just friends if this new living situation was going to work. Kendall went out of her way to help Meredith and he was not going to betray her confidence by thinking about Meredith as anything other than his very good friend.

"I'm sorry I was gone for so long," he apologized.

"Really? I didn't notice," she lied.

She averted her eyes, hoping the anxious look didn't give it away but Derek caught it just in time. He gave a slight shake of his head and smiled to himself as he pushed the wheelchair to the foot of her bed and kicked the brakes on.

"So how do we do this?" she asked nervously as she pushed the covers off her leg to reveal her heavy cast.

"I think it would be easier if I carried you off the bed."

"Okay," she said shyly.

Derek moved around the wheelchair and placed one hand underneath her legs, sending a spark of electricity shooting through her body. She bit down on her lips to prevent a soft gasp from escaping her lips. He wrapped his other hand firmly behind her back.

"Put your arms around my neck," he instructed. "I'm going to lift you up so hold on tight, okay?"

"Okay."

Meredith was a little surprised by the ease with which Derek picked her up. Her cast felt heavy on her leg, but Derek was oblivious to its weight. Meredith could feel the warmth of his body against hers as he fitted her body snugly against his.

In doing so, his hand slid further around her slim back to her side where his long lean fingers came into contact with her right breast. The intimate touch surprised both of them and instead of moving his fingers away as he knew he should, his fingers hitched higher up to the underside of her breast. Meredith jerked her head to stare at Derek as he shifted her body once again, this time moving his hand lower to her ribcage.

"Did you just try to cop a feel?" Meredith asked, her eyes piercing as she looked at him accusingly.

"No," he denied.

"Are you sure? Because I definitely felt a little boob grazing."

"No," he answered a little more vehemently, trying to hide his guilt.

"Are you sure…sure?" she continued to ask, knowing he had done it and wanting to give him a hard time.

She was thoroughly amused that he was not as composed as he was letting on.

"I am being the dutiful doctor and trying to help you," he answered. "It's not my fault you have an abundance of..."

"An abundance of what?" she demanded, her voice defensive.

"Well…_that_." He nodded his head to her breasts to point out what he was talking about since his hands were full at the moment.

"Nothing is wrong with my breasts!"

"I never said there was."

"You think they're big and bountiful."

"I never said that, and c'mon Mer…'big and bountiful'? Aren't you giving yourself a little _too much_ credit?" He raised his brows questioningly, teasing her as his eyes averted to look at her breasts.

She felt the heat rise in her cheeks again and silently cursed herself for her weakness, before demanding "If you don't like my breasts, then stop staring at them. Put me down already!"

She began to flail her arms wildly and shift her body in a desperate attempt to extract his hands from her body.

"Hold still!" he yelled, his grip tightening on her to keep them both from falling. "Do you want us both to get hurt? If you don't stop acting like a child, that's exactly what's going to happen!"

His words rang in her ears and as tempted as she was to give him some pain, she knew she was acting stupid and unwillingly settled herself back into his arms.

"That's a good girl," he cooed to her like she was a child.

"Shut up!"

Derek let out a hearty laugh as he gently placed her onto the wheelchair. She crossed her arms in defiance when he asked her to help him out and scoot her butt so she could sit centered on the chair. Instead of annoying him as she had hoped, he gave another hearty laugh in amusement and threatened to move her butt himself. This quickly got her to react and she stuck her tongue out at him while she grudgingly followed his instructions. Once Derek had her leg propped securely on the chair, he grabbed her chart and wheeled her out of the room.

"You totally copped a feel," she mumbled under her breath but loud enough so he could still hear.

"It's not easy getting you out of bed with this heavy cast. I was being careful not to drop you. The right hand placement is very important."

"Hand placement, my ass!"

Her sudden outburst made a few nurses who were seated at the station look up to see what was going on.

Derek gave them his dreamy smile and leaned down to whisper in Meredith's ear, "Let's not get started on that, shall we?"

The feel of his warm breath fanning her cheek gave her goosebumps at the near contact of his lips to her ear, but she didn't want him to know how affected she was so she crossed her arms, feigning anger and turned her head away from him.

* * *

Two days after the tests had been administered, Derek came to her room with news that her scans came back clear and the swelling was completely gone. All the bruising on her internal organs had recovered well and aside from her broken leg, which would take weeks to heal, she was in perfect condition. Dr. Torres was scheduled to come on the day she is to be discharged to change her cast.

Before they could discuss the details of her moving in, Derek got paged into surgery but promised to come back later that night to talk. He was grateful the Chief had given him time off, but he doubt he would be getting any sleep. Meredith was really going to move in with him and there was a lot to do before moving day.


	20. Chapter 20

**I apologize for taking so long to update this fic. I've been working on a new PD/EP fic and it pretty much consumed most of my free time. Thank you for all the wonderful comments! **

* * *

Today is moving day; the day Meredith had been waiting for with slight apprehension, but secretly excited about. Dr. Callie Torres, the resident orthopedic surgeon, came by earlier to change her cast and advise her on the status of her fracture which appear to be healing quite nicely. The Chief came by while Dr. Torres was finishing up and talked to her for an hour before he was called away to a meeting. Cristina and Mark, who seem to have gotten much closer in the last couple of days, stopped by to bring her a change of clothes and pack her belongings to take back to Derek's house. With Cristina's help, Meredith managed to get dressed and was sitting in her wheelchair, looking out the windows. The sky was unusually blue for this time of year, but she was grateful for a break from the rain, especially on a day like this.

Derek had been in surgery for a good part of the morning and afternoon and would be by after his last surgery to bring her discharge papers. Meredith hadn't seen much of him since the boob graze incident so she was looking forward to seeing him again. She had a feeling he was avoiding her even though he claims his busy schedule was what really kept him from visiting or staying longer than five minutes.

She heard a soft knock and turned her head sideways to see Derek leaning against the door.

"May I come in?"

_Again with the leaning_ … She thought to herself as her breath caught in her throat.

"Yes," she said after staring at him for a few seconds. She noticed that he was holding something in his hand and tried to distract herself by asking what he was holding.

"These," he came closer and extended a folder out to her, "are your discharge papers. Once you sign them, I can take you home with me."

"That sounds nice. Where do I sign?" She took the folder from him and opened it to see quite a few documents inside.

Derek moved to stand behind her and leaned down over her shoulder, his right arm reaching out flip through the forms. The folder was sitting precariously on her lap, its contents threatening to fall onto the floor but having him stand in such close proximity to her was making her pulse quicken and she didn't care about the papers or anything else for that matter.

"Sign here," he indicated on one of the forms.

Meredith uncapped the pen he gave her and was ready to sign when he stopped her.

"Aren't you going to read it first?" he asked, turning his head slightly to look at her, their faces a few inches apart. "There's a lot of information in there. Go ahead and read through them and I'll be back later."

"No!" she objected when he started to move away. She grabbed the sleeve of his coat and pulled him back down. "I, uh…I already know what it says. I was admitted to a hospital last year for dehydration and I read all the forms – front and back – so I'm pretty familiar with it. I need you to point out where I have to sign and we can get going."

Derek gave her a questioning look to say he was unconvinced, but he conceded and leaned back down to flip through the pages, dutifully pointing out the sections that require her signature. After ten minutes, he stood upright and massaged his lower back.

"I'll drop these off on my way to my office to change and I'll be back for you."

"Okay."

* * *

It took a little bit of creativity and lots of careful maneuvering, but Derek along with some help from Mark managed to get Meredith settled comfortably in the backseat of his car. Mark and Cristina were following them in Mark's car and together, they drove through the busy freeways and streets of Seattle. The drive was long and they made small talk in the beginning, but Derek suggested she take a nap when he saw her stifle a yawn.

Meredith wasn't sure how long she had been asleep, but she woke to the sound of the car door opening. She turned her half-lidded eyes to see Derek poking his head inside.

"Are we here?" she asked, her voice still groggy from sleep.

"We're here," answered Derek. He looked around the back and did a quick assessment of how he was going to get her out. "Mark got stuck behind a traffic accident so they're running a little behind. I'm going to need to carry you out by myself."

"I can wait here until they arrive," she suggested. "I don't think it would be a good idea for you to do it by yourself…without Mark."

"I'm fully capable of carrying you, Mer." He looked crossed while he waited for her.

"I know. It's just that it took you and Mark a while to get me inside and…"

"And I can carry you out. It's not like I haven't done it before."

"Okay," she reluctantly agreed. "Just be careful with the hand placement this time."

"You mean the boob graze?" he teased.

"You're here!"

The sudden outburst startled the both of them, more so Derek since he stood up abruptly and his head hit the roof of the car with a loud thump.

"Shit!"

* * *

"Oh my god Derek, are you okay?"

Meredith instinctively reached out and pulled Derek's head down so she could have a careful look. She didn't realize it, but in the act of doing so, she brought his face down to eye level with her breasts which wouldn't be so bad if not for the plunging neckline. She was wearing a v-neck dress that revealed a good amount of cleavage, particularly at the angle in which Derek now finds himself in.

Cristina, in her sick twisted way, brought the dress suggesting that Meredith use her womanly curves to lure Derek away from Kendall. Meredith had put up a good fight but since that was the only piece of clothing Cristina brought with her, she reluctantly agreed to put it on or wear the tacky hospital gown with the opening in the back and risk showing her backside to everyone.

Meredith was so busy examining Derek's head that she was oblivious to the way his eyes had darkened as they trailed a slow assessing path from her pert breasts, up across the fine bone structure of her collarbone, moving further still to the smooth lines of her throat where they finally came rest on her lips.

Focusing intently on finding the sore spot, she ran her fingers through his hair, carefully parting the silky strands to her searching eyes. She quickly located the red spot on the top of his head and let out a soft "ouch" before she began to massage his scalp. With his body still leaning inside the car, he began to gently sway to the movements of her fingers as they worked their magic. Derek moved one hand to the backseat's headrest and his other to the seat cushion next Meredith's thigh to support his weight as he felt his body shudder slightly to her warm touch.

"Meredith. Please…," he let his words trail as he looked up at her.

In the same breath, Meredith lowered her gaze from what she was doing and their eyes locked in a heated stare. She released a breathless gasp almost as if she felt burnt by the intensity of his stare. His head began to lower towards her and she wasn't sure if it were her hands, whose fingers were still tangled in the soft curls, or Derek that was moving of his own accord but soon their lips were mere centimeters apart.

In anticipation at the feel of his lips on her own, her tongue slipped out and swept across her parched lips and in doing so, the tip of her tongue brushed past his lips. She let her eyes flutter close as his warm breath fanned her lips, providing a wisp of coolness as it blew past her wet lips.

They were so lost in their own little world that they almost missed the sound of a car pulling up behind them. Meredith opened her eyes slightly and caught a glimpse of someone standing at the top of the porch, holding what she made out to be an arrangement of calla lilies in a tall slim vase. She blinked once and her eyes re-focused to see Kendall waving frantically with her free hand.

"Mark! Cristina! You guys made it!"

Meredith heard the sound of gravel being crushed, followed by the sound of an engine being killed. She glanced from Kendall, back to Derek and realized that her hands were still holding his head. Derek must have snapped out of it at the same time because he began to move his hands away. Suddenly feeling claustrophobic in the small confines of his car and fearing being seen by Kendall, Mark and Cristina, she pushed Derek away with so much force, the back of his head came into contact with the frame of the door.

"Ouch!" he yelped, giving her an injured look as he stumbled back a few steps and landed on the ground.

"Honey, are you alright?" Kendall screamed as she lowered the vase to the ground and descended the stairs towards Derek.

"She's still knocking you off your feet after all these years, I see." Mark gave a devilish smirk as he pulled Derek up before Kendall reached them.


	21. Chapter 21

**Thank you so much for all the wonderful comments!**

* * *

"Hey there, Sunshine," said Mark cheerily as he poked his head inside the car to give her one of his winning smiles.

"Is he okay?" she asked, looking concernedly at Derek.

"Aw…he's fine. His ass and ego may be slightly bruised, but he'll be okay."

"Okay," she replied hesitantly as she was dealt an angry glare from his steely blue eyes.

Even from a few feet away, she could feel the heated stare burn into her skin. Kendall had reached him by this time and was working at brushing the dirt off his pants. Meredith's heart sunk as she saw the intimate way she fussed over him. It was evident that she cared deeply for him.

"Want to tell me what happened?"

"Nothing happened," she lied. "He was just trying to carry me out."

"And he flew across the pavement…because…?"

"His hand slipped," she offered.

"Riiight."

At that exact moment, Cristina opened the door on the other side and stuck her head in. "Are we going inside or have you decided to take up residence in his car?"

Meredith wasn't sure if she would be welcomed after the stunt she pulled and daring a look in Derek's direction, she saw that the scowl on his face was replaced with an unreadable expression as he nodded his head to something Kendall said.

"We're going inside. I think."

"Hi Meredith! It's so nice to see you again."

Kendall had since left Derek's side and moved next to Mark to poke her head in. The small space inside the car was getting crowded and Meredith was suddenly feeling very claustrophobic.

"It's nice to see you too," she replied in kind. "The flowers are gorgeous, by the way."

"Thank you!" Kendall squealed in delight that she took notice of them. "I wanted to brighten up the house in anticipation of your arrival. Derek doesn't like to decorate so I try to do little things here and there to make it warm and cozy."

"That's very kind, thank you." Clearing her throat to ease the tightness that formed, she asked, "Is it alright if we go inside?"

"Of course!" Kendall moved back and began to apologize profusely. "You must be so uncomfortable sitting back there like that. Derek, honey, can you come carry Meredith out?"

"Actually, Mark can do it." Meredith was quick to offer when she saw Derek stiffen. "You wouldn't mind, would you Mark?"

"Are you kidding me? I wouldn't pass up an opportunity to carry THE Meredith Grey," teased Mark as he reached down to lift her out of the car.

"Watch the hand placement," she warned with a playful smile when his arm came around her slim waist.

"I wouldn't dare. Besides, Derek looks like he wants to throttle my throat. I don't want to give him more reason."

* * *

With ease, Mark carried Meredith into the house with Kendall in tow, chatting animatedly. Cristina and Derek went to get her belongings out of the car as well as a pair of crutches given to Meredith by Dr. Torres to encourage her to start her rehabilitation by exercising her other leg.

To no surprise, Kendall played the perfect hostess. She laid out a huge spread of fruits, finger sandwiches, cheese and crackers as well as a variety of refreshments to choose from. Meredith was slightly envious at her homemaker abilities, whereas she had trouble boiling water. She'd always wanted to take some private culinary courses, but her busy filming schedule never allowed for it. Maybe now that she is on a break, she can pursue that idea in between reading scripts.

Meredith was able to put the crutches to good practice as Kendall gave them a tour of the house. She's had to use crutches in one of her movies before so she was adept to moving around with it. Meredith was taken aback by the beauty of the spacious house with its simple, yet elegant furnishings. Most people have a tendency to over-compensate for the spaciousness of each room by filling them with ornate furnishings that more often times than not, detracts from the beauty and simplicity.

Meredith was exhausted by the time they reached her room, which happened to be a few doors down the hall from Derek's.

"Would you mind if we stopped here?" she asked Kendall. "I was hoping to take a bath before Cristina has to leave."

"Of course. I'm sorry I dragged you around the house when your leg is just barely healing," apologized Kendall. "I wanted to make sure you knew your way around since I won't be here to help you."

"Please don't apologize. I appreciate everything you've done for me and I am truly grateful…so thank you."

"It's my pleasure," replied Kendall, blushing slightly. "I've filled the linen closet in your bathroom with everything you may need. If there is anything that is missing, please let Rubia or myself know."

She gave her another warm smile before closing the door, leaving Meredith and Cristina alone in the room.

"She's nice."

"Yeah, she is."

"Do you want to bathe or unpack first?"

"Unpack."

Cristina lifted her suitcase onto the ottoman and opened it to reveal her clothes, along with her personal toiletries.

"Did you bring what I asked for?" Meredith asked, as she reached inside the bag.

"Yes. It's in the upper left pocket."

"Was it difficult to find?"

"Yes. When you told me it was in an un-marked brown box at the uppermost shelf of your walk-in closet, you failed to mention that there were at least a dozen or so un-marked boxes there. Aside from the fact that I had to first locate a ladder to get me up that high, I almost broke my neck when one of those damn boxes fell on my head. Whatever the hell that is," she paused, waving her hand in the general direction of the suitcase, "had better be worth all the trouble I went through."

Meredith gave her friend an appreciative smile and unzipped the pocket to retrieve the item. "It is," she whispered, letting her fingers run over the small blue box.

They unpacked in silence and just as Cristina was putting away the last of her clothes, she turned and asked, "What really happened inside the car before we arrived?"

Meredith was slightly taken aback at the blunt question and she thought about telling a white lie, but she knew Cristina would see through it.

"We kissed."

"You kissed? You two kissed in front of his girlfriend?"

"Well, we didn't exactly kiss…kiss. Our lips just touched, but we didn't kiss."

"Do you know how stupid that sounds? How could you do that?"

"It was an accident," she tried to explain. "He hit his head and I was trying to massage it and our lips just sort of…touched."

"You did this in full view of his girlfriend?" yelled Cristina.

"We were inside the car so I don't think she saw. Why are you yelling at me? You were the one who got me the damn dress and told me to seduce him."

"I told you to win him back…NOT kiss him in front of her!"

"We didn't kiss! Our lips touched, that's all!"

"That's just fucking semantics, Mer, and you know it!" Cristina took a deep breath and continued. "Look, I know I had a hand in this, but you need to get your head on straight. You two are way overdue for a long talk. All this hiding and kissing and flirting is going to end up hurting a lot of people. Derek needs to know what happened in the past, if you two are to have a future together. And Kendall deserves to know the truth between you two."

* * *

It was late by the time everyone left. Cristina never mentioned the kiss again, but Meredith saw the wary look on her friend's face when they all sat down for dinner. To no one's surprise, Kendall cooked a fantastic meal starting off with a small baby green salad, followed by the main entrée of pan-seared Chilean sea bass with sautéed spinach and wild rice.

The conversations through dinner flowed easily as the topics moved from books, to favorite movies, to music and even touching on some social problems that seemed to be plaguing the world today. Although the tension from earlier had long disappeared, Meredith found herself making every concerted effort to avoid eye contact with Derek. Whenever he was talking, she would avert her eyes to focus on the button of his shirt, or the nonexistent piece of lint on his broad shoulders, or anything that could serve as a distraction.

Mark and Cristina left shortly after they cleared the dishes because of a reconstructive surgery that Mark was scheduled to do the next morning. Meredith was left with a feeling of dread at the realization that she was alone with Derek and Kendall for the first time…ever. The three of them retired to the family room where Derek lit the fireplace and the conversation that was flowing earlier, became stilted.

No longer was Meredith interested in talking about books, or movies or anything for that matter. She leaned her head against the back of the sofa and sat watching the flames flicker and dance across the cedar log. She was enjoying the silence and since she didn't hear a word from Derek or Kendall, she assumed they were enjoying it as well.

The silence dragged on and unable to avoid for much longer, she turned her head slightly to see that Kendall had moved herself closer to cuddle with Derek on the sofa facing the one she was on. Her eyes were closed and her arm was looped around his as their fingers were intimately laced together. She looked at Derek to see that he was watching her, his eyes soft as though it was trying to tell her something.

_That should be me he's holding_ … She thought. Her throat feel constricted at the sudden bitterness that washed over her and she quickly looked away. The tinge of jealousy struck her with the force of a sledgehammer and feeling like a third wheel, she abruptly sat up and made an excuse to leave by claiming exhaustion from the day's event.

"Would you like me to help you up," Derek offered, getting ready to stand up.

"No!" she stopped him. "I…uh…I can do it on my own. Thank you."

"Are you sure? If you're tired, I don't want you to fall and break your neck while climbing the stairs. Let me carry you up."

"Derek's right, Meredith. Let him—"

"It's okay," she interrupted, her voice a little more firm. "I can do it. Besides, this will give me the practice I need with the crutches. You two enjoy your evening. Good Night."

She gave them a half smile and used one of her crutches to gingerly pull herself up. She was grateful that the distance from the sofa to the door was not a big one because she could feel their eyes on her as she hobbled out of the room.

She thanked the heavens when she finally managed to reach her room without causing more injury to herself. She went through her nightly routine of brushing her teeth, scrubbing her face and applying moisturizer before she slipped into her pajamas which consisted of a black cami top with matching black boy shorts. She silently cursed Cristina for packing this skimpy attire when she knows she likes to sleep in her favorite ratty t-shirt and silk pajama pants.

After she climbed into bed, she tried to close her eyes to get some much needed sleep but her mind kept replaying what Cristina said earlier. To say that she was confused would be an understatement. She was downright torn between doing what is right and leave Derek and Kendall alone so they could be happy together or doing what her heart is telling her and go after him, which means hurting Kendall whom she's come to really like and admire.


	22. Chapter 22

**Thank you for the wonderful comments.**

* * *

Several hours had passed and Meredith found herself still without an answer and more confused than ever. Even with the exhaustion that was weighing her body down, she could not get herself to fall asleep. Whenever she closed her eyes, she kept seeing Derek. She saw the way he looked into her very soul from their near-kiss. She saw the pained look on his face when she pushed him away. And lastly, she saw the way he looked when he held Kendall.

Exhaling a deep breath in hopes of lifting some of the weight off her, she sat up in bed. The clock on her nightstand read 4am. It was too early to get up and dress, but too late to go back to sleep. At a time like this, there was only one thing to do. One thing that could make her happy and help her forget the heavy burden she's had to bear, even for only a little while.

She reached for her crutches and carefully placed them under her arms and pulled herself upright. Being careful not to wake them, she opened her door slowly and looked up and down the hall to make sure the coast was clear. She didn't hear Kendall leave so she assumed she slept over. The thought of them sleeping together left a bitter taste in her mouth and she quickly moved across the hallway without looking at the door that led to his bedroom.

She was a little winded and breathless by the time she reached the kitchen. Deciding against turning on the lights, she moved in the semi-darkness over to the pantry where she opened it to discover that it was fully stocked. Her eyes immediately fell onto the muesli box and she couldn't help but smile. He was still a health nut, which meant that what she was looking for may not be there. She moved a few more items around and almost gave up when she saw a familiar blue cellophane packaging partially hidden toward the back of the pantry. Sticking her arm all the way in, she blindly felt around for it until her fingers touched the package and she carefully extracted the item with a big grin on her face.

"Bingo!" she said cheerily.

"You can't sleep either?" asked a voice from behind as the room became flooded in soft light.

"Derek!" she gasped. She quickly turned around and hid the package behind her as she said, "You scared the hell out of me. What are you doing here?"

"I couldn't sleep. You?" His eyes left hers to move down her scantily clad body with her figure hugging tank top that stopped short of reaching her belly button and the hip hugging boy shorts that did little to hide her firm round buttocks.

"Um…me too," she blushed, shifting uncomfortably and using her free arm to wrap around her midsection.

She didn't realize that in the act of doing so, her breasts were inadvertently pushed together, forming a deep valley between her breasts.

"What are you doing?" he asked, trying to see what was behind her back.

"Nothing," she lied, holding the package closer behind her.

"What's behind your back?" he asked, his brows furrowed together suspiciously.

"Nothing," she replied more firmly with a wide-eyed look of innocence. The heavy package almost slipped from her fingers and she gripped tighter, causing the cellophane wrap to crinkle. The noise was loud and clear as he continued to eye her suspiciously.

"Liar."

"Am not."

"Turn around."

"No."

"Alright then," he said as he began towards her. "You can either tell me or I'm going to wrestle whatever it is you have behind your back from you."

"You wouldn't dare," she challenged, backing away slowly.

"Watch me," he smirked, pretending to lunge towards her.

"Alright!" she shrieked as she held the package up.

"You were going to have them without me?"

"I thought you were asleep."

"Clearly, I'm not asleep now."

Feigning annoyance, she rolled her eyes and asked "Would you like to join me?"

"I don't know. My feelings are hurt."

"Are you serious?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Why WOULD you be?"

"Hmmm…let me see," he said, tapping his index finger on the bridge of his nose as he pretended to ponder that thought for a while. "You sneak around in the dark. Hide my favorite guilty pleasure from me. AND lied about it when I asked what you were doing."

"I didn't lie. I just chose not to tell you all the facts."

"How is that—"

"Shut up and go get the milk," she commanded as she hobbled to the couch in the family room.

"Yes ma'am!"

He winked at her before going to the cabinet to pull out two glasses and then going to the fridge to pull out the carton of milk. He poured some into each glass and placed the carton back inside the fridge before joining her on the couch.

Meredith opened the package, pulled out an Oreo and held onto each end as she gave it a small twist. She smiled satisfactorily as it split open perfectly, revealing one side covered in cream and the other void of it. She handed the half without the cream to Derek and held the cookie up to her lips as she ran a smooth tongue across the creamy surface, letting out a deep satisfied moan as her eyes closed in pure ecstasy. She loved Oreos and she loved licking the creamy center off slowly as she relished its sweetness on her tongue.

Derek watched her with peaked interest as she continued doing that until the cream was completely gone and she opened her eyes with a big grin as she popped the entire cookie into her mouth and chewed slowly. She finished it off with a small sip of milk and reached inside for the next piece.

Derek smiled to himself as he remembered all those late nights they spent together doing this exact thing. They shared many long talks over Oreos and milk. Meredith liked the creamy center and he liked the cookie – a perfect complement to each other. The funny thing was he was never into sweets until he met Meredith. She would always come home from school with an assortment of candies and cookies from the neighborhood liquor store all tucked inside her school bag. It always amazed him how well her metabolism was to be able to stay fit, despite all the sugar she consumed.

"How's your head?" she asked suddenly, breaking him from his deep thoughts.

"It was fine until you decided to play handball with it."

"I said I was sorry."

"I know you did."

"Then why are you trying to make me feel guilty?"

"I'm not trying to make you feel guilty" he retorted. "My head IS sore."

"Oh… Do you want me take a look at it?"

"No, thank you. I have grown rather attached to my head and would like to keep it intact and bump free-ouch!"

Meredith threw a small pillow from where she sat and it flew across the short distance and landed squarely on his head

"Did you NOT hear me when I told you it was sore?" he yelled as he closed the distance between them and grabbed both of her wrists in his hand.

"Oops…," she apologized, a sheepish grin on her face. "I guess old habits die hard."

"Old habits, my ass!" He began to tickle her.

"Derek!" she shrieked as her body was wracked with giggles. "Derek! Stop!"

"Say you're sorry."

"For what?" she asked between giggles.

Her stubbornness made him tickle her more as she tried to wrestle her arms free.

"Derek! Please stop," she pleaded, still giggling uncontrollably. "We're going to wake Kendall up."

"She's not here."

"She's what?" she asked, her voice serious all of a sudden.

Derek noticed the change in mood and stopped tickling her as he pulled back and sat back down on the other end of the couch.

"Where'd she go?"

"Home."

"But I thought…," she trailed off

"She's leaving for New York for a few days tomorrow. Her company is opening up an office on the east coast and she was asked to head that up. She wanted me to tell you good-bye for her and that she'll come by to visit when she returns."

"H-how long will she be gone?" she asked nervously as she re-adjusted her top.

"Three days, I think."

Derek felt guilty as he struggled to remember how long Kendall told him she would be gone. His mind had been preoccupied thinking about Meredith ever since that near kiss in the car.

"You think? Don't you know?" she enquired, looking at him strangely.

"Of course I know!" he snapped. "She's my girlfriend. Why wouldn't I know?"

Meredith flinched as though someone had punched her in the stomach upon hearing Kendall being referred to as his girlfriend. She knew she should get used to that fact, but hearing it, especially from his mouth was still hard to take in. "So she'll be gone for three days?"

"Yes."

"Okay," she said for lack of a better response.

She returned to eating her cookie, eyeing him every once in a while to see him focusing a little too intently on the small cookie as he took small bites. The silence that stretched between them as they ate made the experience of eating the delicious snack less enjoyable.

"Mer?"

"Hmm?"

"Why did you go into acting?"

"Why?" she asked, unsure of what prompted that question.

"Yes. Why? I mean you had always expressed an interest in medicine when Mark and I were doing our internship and I assumed that you would've followed in your mother's footsteps."

"It was because of my mother that I chose NOT to go into medicine. My mother was very manipulative and controlling and she used every means possible to make me very aware of her influence over my life…as well as others," she paused to look at him with sad eyes. "As much as I loved medicine and would've liked to become a doctor, I knew that if I did, I would be giving her exactly what she wanted."

"But why acting?" he asked, sitting back in the chair more comfortably.

"I did it to spite my mother," she stated flatly, ignoring the shocked look on his face.

"When my mother moved us to Paris, I became quiet and withdrawn. I would go for days without speaking a single word to her and at first it angered and frustrated her and she would scream and yell and threaten to disown me, but I was so angry with her for forcing me to leave that I didn't care. I didn't care if I never saw her again and there were days when I wished she had disowned me."

"Anyways, the days of silence stretched to weeks and pretty soon we were like two strangers living in the same house. She worked crazy hours at the hospital to avoid me and I would spend most of my days writing in my journal as I watched the tourists pass through town."

"One day I was approached by Francois, the owner of the small café that I frequented quite often, asking if he could use my picture for an advertisement he was doing for the café. I thought it was harmless so I agreed. The picture ended up in the hands of a photographer for a well known advertising agency and I was approached for a small modeling job that led to bigger modeling jobs. I kept it a secret from my mother which wasn't hard considering she was never at home. The modeling jobs eventually became small parts in commercials."

"My mother eventually found out through an associate of hers at work and she and I had a big falling out. A lot of hateful things were said. In my anger, I told her I despised her and wished I had never been born. I ran away and kept running until I found myself inside a small bar across town. I drank myself to a drunken stupor and found myself befriending an Asian girl my age, whom it seems, was there for the same reason as me – crappy lives with crappy parents.

"Cristina."

She nodded her head. "That night, we drank our problems away until I collapsed. I woke up the next morning to find Cristina by my bedside at the hospital and my mother standing at the foot of the bed. I had barely recovered from alcohol poisoning when she began to berate me in front of her peers for being stupid and irresponsible."

"What happened next?"

"She stopped talking to me and we went on as we did – barely acknowledging each other's existence. One day, a talent scout came to the house and offered me a role in a small movie. My mother screamed and yelled and prohibited me from doing it, but I was of age where I did not need her consent so I agreed just to spite her and one thing led to another and…the rest is history."

"You left New York for Paris?" he asked. He never told anyone, not even Mark, but he tried for months to look for her. He even hired some professionals but they always came up empty handed. Her being in Paris explained why they couldn't locate her.

"Yes. We left that night. The night we were supposed to meet at the…," she trailed off, unable to finish her sentence.

"Why didn't you call?"

"I wanted to, but my mother threatened to…"

"What? What did she threaten to do, Mer?"

"She told me that she knew a lot of influential people at the hospital and if I ever tried to leave or get in contact with you, she would make sure your career as a surgeon was over before it ever began."

"She said that? How could she be so cruel?"

"I was scared, Derek. I knew how much being a doctor meant to you and I didn't want to ruin that. I didn't want you to resent me so I agreed never to call you and left. Please forgive me. I never meant to hurt you."

"I'm so sorry you had to go through all that alone. Being a doctor meant a lot to me, but so did you. Your mother may have known people, but she never could've done all those things she threatened."

"I know that now, but I was naïve back then. I loved you so much I would've done anything for you...even if it meant leaving you."


	23. Chapter 23

**I apologize for taking so long to update. Thank you for the wonderful comments and being patient with the update.**

* * *

Derek woke with a start. He opened his eyes and was slightly confused at what time it was. _Did he sleep through the entire day?_...he wondered. He looked out the window to see that it was dark outside and was convinced that it was evening when he saw the clock and realized that it was 10:00 in the morning.

Blinking a few times to allow his eyes time to adjust to the semi-darkness of the room, his ears perked up when he heard what sounded like small pebbles being thrown against the window. His eyes focused once more on the window to see the heavy downpour of rain outside. The force of the rain was unrelenting as the powerful raindrops pounded against the thick glass panes.

Derek tried to get up, but his legs felt heavy and numb. _What the hell?_…he thought to himself, feeling slightly agitated as well as sore from the sitting position in which he had fallen asleep.

He got ready to shake his legs to get the blood flowing, but hesitated when he looked down to see Meredith's head resting comfortably on his lap. She was lying on her side, curled up like a small child with her hands clasped together and pressed up close to her chest.

He remembered that she was a heavy sleeper and given how late they stayed up, he knew she would be out for the next couple of hours. A small smile formed on his lips as his eyes traveled up the length of her body, starting with her red painted toenails, up her smooth, tanned legs and moving past the feminine curve of her hips.

She's still as beautiful as the day he saw her sitting by the stairwell. He remembered that day as if it were yesterday. Every word, every smile, every look from her was forever imbedded into his brain for it was the day she stole his heart, and if he was being completely honest with himself, has taken ownership of it since.

He spent many years after she left trying to forget the time they spent together in New York because the memories it held was simply too painful for him. He had never fully recovered from the loss and for years, he felt incomplete as if half of him was missing and the hardest part was that he didn't know how to get it back. She was his love, his soul mate and in one fateful night, all of that was taken away.

He tried to find her. Tried every means possible but as each day passed with no news, he fell into a deep depression. Even Mark, who thankfully never left his side despite the threats and erratic behavior of a troubled man, didn't know how to save his friend. All their friends began distancing themselves because they couldn't deal with his moodiness that more times than not, resulted in cruel, snarky comments. Derek became his own worst enemy and New York was his private hell on earth. His life was slowly disintegrating into nothingness and he desperately needed to be saved.

The salvation came in the form of a phone call from Dr. Richard Webber, their teacher and mentor from medical school. Richard had always been fond of them and knew of their potential to become top surgeons in their chosen field. He had assumed the position of Chief of Surgery at Seattle Grace Hospital and was looking to staff his team with top qualified surgeons and Derek and Mark were the best. He promised each the position as head of their respective departments if they agreed to move and finish their residencies at SGH.

As expected, Derek was opposed to the idea, even passing up the opportunity to head up his own department. As much as he loathed being in New York, he was also reluctant to leave because doing so would sever all ties he had to her. The finality of it was something he was not prepared to accept. Despite the anger and resentment, he didn't know if he could take the leap and leave. She had become an integral part of his life and New York was their home.

It took a large amount of effort, but Mark finally managed to convince him, although he did put up a good fight.

_**::flashback::**_

"_I'm not going."_

"_What do you mean you're not going?" asked Mark incredulously when Derek refused to sign the paperwork that would've finalized their transfer to SGH from Manhattan General._

"_I.Am.Not.Going," he repeated slowly._

"_Don't talk to me like I'm a fucking idiot, Derek. We agreed to do this. We made a commitment to Richard."_

"_Wrong! YOU agreed to do this. YOU made the commitment to Richard, not me. I'M not leaving," he sulked._

"_Why are you doing this to yourself?"_

"_What are you talking about?" _

"_Why are you so intent on making your life miserable?"_

"_I'm not—"_

"_It's been eight months. She's been gone for eight months and she's not coming back!"_

"_Leave her out of this! This has nothing to do with her. Nothing! Do you hear me?" he yelled._

"_It has EVERYTHING to do with her! She's gone. You need to face that fact and move on with your life…or what's left of it. I am begging you, Derek. Stop doing this to yourself."_

"_You think I want to be like this?" Derek sneered, his voice low and controlled but laced with so much pain and confusion. "Do you think I want to wake up everyday filled with so much resentment and anger toward her, yet missing her so much that I can't breathe? I can't walk down that goddamn stairway without seeing her sitting there. I can't walk down one fucking block without hearing her laugh. I can't…"_

"_-----"_

"_I hate feeling like this, Mark," he said after a moment's pause. "I hate that I'm consumed with so much hatred and disdain that doing a job that I once loved, now leaves me feeling empty and hypocritical. How can I save others when I can't save myself?"_

"_Derek…"_

"_I can't go to Seattle. I can't bring my baggage there and tarnish Richard's reputation."_

"_You may not think so now, but going to Seattle is exactly what you need. She's not coming back and you staying here, sulking day in and day out is not going to change that."_

"_The only thing I need is to be left alone. Go to Seattle. Take the job we both know you deserve. Tell Richard that I appreciate the confidence he has in me, but I can't accept his offer."_

"_I've endured your shit for the last 8 months, not to mention the fifteen years before that. Don't think you can get rid of me that easily. I am not going anywhere and I am certainly not leaving you alone. If I have to give up the opportunity of a lifetime, then so be it. Just know that I will devote my life to reminding you what I gave up for the sake of this twisted friendship."_

_**::end flashback::**_

Derek couldn't help but smile as he fondly remembered Mark's last comment. He recalled being annoyed as hell with Mark but grateful beyond words for having a true friend like him around to kick his ass in gear. Two weeks later, they packed up their stuff and left without looking back.

The move to Seattle was chaotic, to say the least. One of the few positive things was the way they were welcomed into SGH. They completed their residencies and as promised, each one was promoted to head of their departments. They earned the respect of their colleagues so the promotion was never seen as anything other than those that were well-deserved by two very hard-working doctors.

Derek hated to admit it, but Mark was right. The move to Seattle turned out to be therapeutic for his soul and exactly what he needed. It was refreshing to walk down the street and not see something that would remind him of her. While his heart never completely forgot her, his mind was able to push her memories back in the dark recesses of his mind and allow him to focus on living again.

Eventually, he began going on a few double-dates with Mark and while the relationships never lasted more than a few dates, he was okay with that. He wasn't interested in long-term relationships. Been there, done that and he was not doing it again. He was content living the single life until he met Kendall. Kendall was a sweet, caring person and she took care of him. He never thought he would fall in love again, but being with Kendall gave him the hope that it could happen and maybe…just maybe, it would happen with her. Just when he was ready to take the next step with Kendall, fate intervened once more. From one stormy New York night to a stormy Seattle night, his life was turned upside down with Meredith's return.

_What do we do now? Where do we go from here, my golden girl?_ He thought solemnly as he looked down at her, the sadness reaching his eyes.

* * *

Derek sat for what felt like an eternity, mulling over his questions. Eight years is a long time apart. So many things have changed with them and between them. Since she arrived, they've hardly spent any real time alone together, so he's uncertain if they still shared the emotional connection that bonded them all those years ago.

He looked down at her still sleeping form and noticed that goose bumps had begun to form all over her body. _Shit!_ He had been so preoccupied thinking about the past that he didn't notice that the temperature in the house had dropped dramatically from the storm outside. He looked around for the throw that Kendall usually keeps on the chair and noticed that it was missing from its usual spot.

Without thinking, he moved off the couch, being careful not to disturb her sleep as he laid her head down on the cushions. Stretching his achy muscles to reduce the numbness in his arms and legs, he bent down and scooped her up into his arms. He winced at the tension in his lower back from her dead weight, coupled with the heavy cast and carefully maneuvered her so that she lay resting against his chest comfortably.

It took a little effort to walk up the stairs but he managed to get them safely to her room where he gently deposited her onto the bed and covered her with the blanket. His eyes never left her face as he stood back up.

So many things have changed in the last twenty four hours. He hadn't expected her to be so forthcoming with why she left and now that he knew the truth, he was relieved to know that it was because of her mother and not because she didn't want to be with him.

Derek was lost in thought as he stood by her bedside, watching the half-smile dance across her lips as she slept. She looked so peaceful, like she hadn't a care in the world. He was tempted to get into bed and hold her, like he used to, but they have so many things they need to sort through before they could even think about starting anything. She'd just broken up with her fiancé and he's with Kendall.

The sound of his pager going off stirred him from his thoughts. He looked across to his room, then back to her, his legs not wanting to move from its spot. He was off today and was slightly annoyed that he was being paged. The hospital knows not to page him unless it's an emergency and looking at the raging storm outside, he had a sickening feeling in the pit of his stomach as to what it meant.

Taking one last took at Meredith; he quickly rushed to his room and saw "911" on his pager. Before he had time to react, his mobile phone rang.

"Let me guess. There's been an accident and you need me to come to the hospital," he said into the phone.

"Not _an accident_…_several_ _big_ accidents. The heavy rain has caused havoc on the roads and we have more patients coming in than doctors to tend to their injuries. Mercy West is overflowing and we've about reached our max. I need you here, Derek."

The Chief clearly sounded upset and Derek knew he wouldn't have called unless it was bad, so without a moment's hesitation, he said "Be there in half an hour."

"It's hell out there, Derek. Drive carefully and I'll see you when you get here."

* * *

"_No! Stop! Please don't take my baby away! Please…oh god…PLEASE!"_

Meredith's piercing scream echoed through the room as she tossed and turned in bed.

"_It's all I have left of him,"_ she whimpered. The heavy, anguished tears rolled down her face as she pleaded with the person in her dream.

"_I've never asked you for anything, except this. Please…I'm begging you. Let me keep it."_

"_Mother! Oh my god…NO! What have you done?!"_

Her cries were deafening as she struggled and reached out blindly in front of her.

"Mer?" Cristina ran into the room, breathless from the sprint up the flight of stairs.

She stopped at the doorway and heard Meredith crying uncontrollably as she continued to reach out blindly in the air. "Shit…"

She rushed over and tried to control Meredith's erratic movements as she pulled her close and hugged her. "Meredith. Wake up. You're having a bad dream. Please wake up, Mer."

"_NO!"_ Meredith wailed as she struggled and tried to break free._ "You killed my baby! You're spiteful and evil and I wish you to hell! Get out! I never want to see you again!"_

Cristina grabbed her shoulders and pulled her in close, telling her over and over again that it was a dream and for her to wake up, but it wasn't working this time.

"_I loved him and you took him away and now you took my baby from me too. Why, Mother? Tell me why?"_

"Meredith!" yelled Cristina, shaking her a little more forcefully. "Wake up! Please. I need you to wake up."

"Wha--what happened?" Meredith asked, opening her eyes to see Cristina looking at her. "What are you doing here?"

"Derek called and asked me to come over."

"Derek?" she asked, her mind still fuzzy.

"He left. The hospital called him, so he had to leave."

"He left? He's not here?"

"No."

A tear rolled down her cheek and using the back of her hand to wipe it away, she looked at Cristina and asked "Why am I crying and all sweaty?"

Cristina hesitated to tell her friend, knowing how painful it was for her to be reminded of her dreams. Meredith had gone through great lengths to stop the dreams from haunting her every night. She took strong medication. Went to therapy and finally resorted to going under deep hypnosis. It worked. She hadn't had the dream in over five years.

"You had a bad dream."

"Was it…?"

"It sounded like it was."

Meredith's shoulders slumped as she cried. The memories flooded back and her body shook uncontrollably as she was wracked with all the memories and emotions she had bottled up for so many years.

"Shh…" Cristina soothed, holding her friend as she cried. "It's going to be okay."

"No, it's not. Derek's going to know. He's going to find out."

"Maybe you should think about telling—"

"No!"

"Mer…"

"I can't, Cristina. I don't want to lose him. Oh god…if he knows…he's going to leave and I…I can't."

"Okay. You're going to hate me for saying this, but he deserves to know. It wasn't your fault you lost the baby. You know it and I know it. You need to tell him or these dreams of yours will haunt you for the rest of your life. You can try therapy or hypnosis or whatever stupid drug they have out there…but that's temporary and you know it."

"I can't. I won't."

"You live with him. He may not be home that much, but there may come a day when he is. Do you want him to find out by hearing you scream at night?"


	24. Chapter 24

**Thank you for the comments.**

* * *

Derek was exhausted. He was physically and emotionally drained. Since arriving at the hospital eleven hours ago, he had spent most of it on his feet, going from consult to consult, then straight into two back to back surgeries. The Chief wasn't exaggerating when he described the chaos and fatality of the twelve car wreckage on the highway. Every doctor, resident and intern available was called in to assist as victims of the accident streamed in through the hospital doors at almost every turn.

"Hey Shep! Wait up."

He was leaving the OR after having completed his fourth and last surgery of the night when he heard his name being called from behind. His neck and back were too stiff to turn around but he didn't need to, to know that it was Mark.

"Boy, it's a real mess out there today," said Mark as he fell into step beside him.

"Yeah."

"I'm done for the night. Where are you headed?"

"Back to my office. I need sleep."

"Can I join you?"

"No," replied Derek, turning to give his friend a puzzled look. "Don't you have an office with your very own couch?"

"Yeah…about that," Mark answered sheepishly. "I kind of, sort of told Dr. Brooks she could use it and…"

"She kicked your horny ass out when she realized you intended to share it with her."

"Maybe."

"I can't believe after the day we've had, you're still thinking about sex."

"When do I NOT think about sex?"

Derek gave his friend an annoyed look and quickened his pace.

"C'mon Derek! You have two couches in your office."

"So? Go use one of the on call rooms."

"They're all taken. I have nowhere to sleep and I'm too tired to drive home. C'mon Derek. I need sleep."

"Oh now you're tired? You should've thought about that BEFORE you let your other head think for you."

They had reached Derek's office by now and giving his friend another annoyed look, he said "If I let you in, you'd better sleep. If I so much as hear a peep out of you, you're out of there, got it?"

"Yes sir!"

"What the—?" Derek turned on his office lights to discover that both couches were made up with pillows and blankets. Sitting atop the cushions were a cleaned pair of scrubs.

"I took the liberty of getting everything ready," said Mark as he walked into the middle of the room and turned to smile broadly at Derek.

"You're a presumptuous ass."

"You're welcome," smirked Mark. "Mind if I shower first—thanks!"

Before he had a chance to protest, Mark was already locked inside the bathroom. _Ass!_

An hour later, Derek felt a lot better as he left the bathroom in clean clothes. Mark was already curled up on the couch and appeared to be fast asleep as he walked past him on his way to turn off the lights. Pulling back the blanket, he got settled on the couch and closed his heavy-lidded eyes waiting for sleep to take over.

* * *

Thirty minutes had passed and he was still awake. Every part of his body ached and he desperately needed sleep, but it was eluding him. Every time he closed his eyes, he'd see images of Meredith flashing across his eyes. He was thinking about her. Thinking about their talk. Thinking about his life and if that still included her.

"Are you awake?" he whispered.

He waited a few seconds, but there was no response.

"Mark? Are you awake?" he repeated a little louder this time.

He waited again and was disappointed when there was silence.

"Mark!" he yelled. The pillow he threw flew across the room, hitting Mark squarely on the head.

"What the--," grunted Mark as he sat up, looking disoriented.

"You can't sleep either?" asked Derek innocently, sitting up to look at a very angry Mark.

"I was—"

"I need to talk."

"Call a therapist. I'm going back to bed."

"I'm serious."

"So am I, now good night!"

Mark punched his pillow and plopped his head back down, pulling at the blanket as he tried to get settled back in.

"It was because of Ellis."

Silence.

"All this time I thought it was me. I thought she left because she didn't love me. She took her to Paris. That's why I couldn't find her," he said solemnly, remembering the pain. "Now she's back…and she's living in my house…and I—"

"How do you know this?"

"I thought you were sleeping."

"How am I supposed to do that with you talking?" Mark shot back, turning around to glare at Derek across the semi-darkness. "Now answer my question."

"Meredith told me."

"She told you? When?"

"Last night."

"Wasn't Kendall at your place last night?"

"She didn't sleep over if that's what you're asking. Meredith and I…we couldn't sleep, so we—"

"Had sex?"

"No we didn't have sex and get your mind out of the gutter!" snapped Derek. "Neither of us could sleep and we sort of bumped into each other in the kitchen. Anyways, we started talking and one thing led to another and I asked her why she left and she told me about Ellis."

"What did she do?"

"She threatened to ruin my medical career if Meredith didn't leave with her or if she ever tried to contact me," he explained. "That night…the night we were supposed to meet at Central Park, Ellis caught her trying to sneak out with her suitcase and threatened her."

"That must've been hard for Mer."

"Yeah. I never expected her to tell me and now that I know," he paused, taking a deep breath. "I don't know what to think anymore. I mean, I always felt like something was off with the way she left, but now that I know…"

"You feel guilty for all those years of anger and resentment towards her."

"Yeah."

"The guilt. It sucks, doesn't it?"

"Yeah."

"So what are you going to do about it?"

"About what?"

"She's back and now you know the truth."

"So?"

"Do you still love her?"

"Yes I do" he answered thoughtfully, seeing her smiling face. "I mean I _did_," he corrected when he realized what he said. "So much has happened, Mark. I don't know if we can go back to being the way we were."

"Of course you can't go back. It's been eight years. Things change. People change. People move on with their lives. Meredith…she's not the same insecure, shy little girl we met all those years ago. She's grown up and she's made a life for herself, like you and I did."

"Where are you going with this?"

"My point is that we've all changed, but when you love someone as completely and deeply as you two loved each other, time is not going to take that away. You two are meant to be together. Eight years apart is not going to change that."

"I can't love her, Mark."

"You can fight this all you want, but your heart is going to follow what it wants and it wants Meredith. She's a part of you, just like you're a part of her."

* * *

Meredith was frantic with worry. It had been raining almost nonstop since yesterday and she hadn't seen Derek since she woke to find him gone and Cristina there. She knew he was at the hospital and with all the accidents she'd seen on the local news station, she knew he was probably in surgery and didn't have time to call, but seeing the heavy rain reminded her of the night of her accident and she couldn't help but have an unsettling feeling in her stomach.

She was restless. She couldn't sleep or eat. She tried to read one of the many scripts that Cristina had given her to get her mind off the storm and the fact that over thirty hours had passed with no word from Derek, but nothing seemed to be working. She wandered aimlessly around the house with her crutches and was happy to see that her mobility had improved. The injuries she sustained from her accident were not as severe as they originally suspected. She had several hairline fractures and according to Dr. Torres, she could have her cast removed as early as next week.

She must've walked the entire length of the first floor five times since tossing the latest script onto the floor. Every time she walked by the phone, she struggled to resist the overwhelming urge to call the hospital. She knew she was being paranoid, but she needed to hear his voice. She needed to know that he was okay and…really, just to hear his voice. The unsettling feeling was not going to subside until then.

On the seventh time around the house, she reached for the phone and began dialing the number to Derek's personal office line. Her heart was beating wildly in her chest as she waited for the call to be answered. One. Two. Three. She hung up on the fourth ring when she heard the recording to his voicemail. She picked up the receiver and began dialing the number to Mark's office. She was about to hang up on the third ring when she heard Mark's familiar voice on the other end.

"Dr. Mark Sloan, Head of Plastics"

"What's with the greeting?" she teased, grinning into the phone.

"I'm a doctor, sweetie. I have to be professional…sometimes," he added, his voice light and teasing as he leaned back in his chair. "To what do I owe the pleasure of this call?"

"I…uh…I just wanted to call to see how you were doing," she lied.

"You wanted to see how I was doing?" he asked, unconvinced of her reason.

"Uh-huh."

"How very thoughtful of you. And here I was thinking you called to ask about Derek."

"I—"

"I was just getting ready to go home, but seeing as how you took the time to call and ask, I'll tell you," he grinned, knowing full well that she was calling to ask about Derek. _Why can't these two just confess their need for each other and get one with the hot sex already?_, he thought to himself.

"I just finished doing a skin graft on a burnt patient from the car accident yesterday. Almost half of his body was burned and…"

Meredith sat quietly as she listened to Mark talk. Her mother was a surgeon so she was very familiar with all the medical jargon and while hearing about the skin graft was interesting, she was not in the mood to hear about it today. She wished she had been honest and asked about Derek instead of pretending. Now she was stuck with having to listen to Mark talk and she knew once he got into talking about plastics, she'd never hear the end of it.

* * *

Half an hour later and he was still talking. Her ears were ringing as she listened to him talk about the SRS procedure he had done on Dan/Donna a few weeks back and then there was Frank, his pectoral implant patient, who was keen on having the surgery to impress his girlfriend.

"…talking in third person was a little freaky, but I've had my fair share of colorful patients in the past so this was nothing new," he continued on while trying to stifle a laugh when he heard a soft snore coming from the other end of the phone. "I'm not boring you, am I, Mer?"

"Wh-what? No!" she lied as she snapped back to attention.

"Good. Did I ever tell you about the pregnant patient that went into labor while I was trying to re-attach her severed arm?"

"Uh…no," she hesitated to answer.

Mark let out a deep laugh as he sat up in his chair and asked "Why don't you just ask me already?"

"Ask you what?"

"Ask me about Derek instead of trying to pretend you're interested in my surgeries."

"I AM interested and I don't want to know where Derek's at?"

"Liar."

"Okay, I'm not interested and I still don't want to know where Derek's at."

"Lair again."

"I—"

"He left thirty minutes ago."

"He did?" she asked, her voice hopeful, making it very obvious that she was in fact calling to inquire about him.

"Yep."

"Did he say where he was going?"

"I presume he was going home to you."

"Oh," she replied, her cheeks blushing at the thought of Derek coming home to her.

"He should be there soon, so go pretty yourself up for him."

"I'm not—"

"Liar. Now get going."

Meredith was still smiling after she hung up the phone with Mark. Derek was coming home.

* * *

It was late in the evening by the time Derek arrived home. To say that he was exhausted would be an understatement. He was a walking zombie. He hadn't had a good night's sleep in over forty-eight hours. Instead of going to sleep after his talk with Mark, he spent a good part of the night awake, replaying in his mind everything Mark had said, _"…your heart is going to follow what it wants and it wants Meredith"_.

Could it be true? Does he still want her? Does SHE still want him? All these questions were swirling in his exhausted mind as he trudged up the slick pavement towards the house. The rain had finally subsided, after having left all of Seattle completely saturated.

He was still dressed in his scrubs. He left the hospital earlier with the intention of going home to shower when he got a phone call from Kendall. The heavy downpour had caused all the major airlines to cancel their flights out of Seattle and re-route those coming into Seattle to airports in neighboring cities that were not affected by the storm.

Kendall had called wanting to talk. After the day he had, all he wanted to do was curl up and sleep until forever, but she had insisted they talk. Derek thought it odd that she was so adamant, but he reluctantly agreed to come over.

He had almost wished he didn't go see her. Everything was happening so quickly and to be dealt the blow he was dealt when he got to her house was enough to make him want to disappear, even if it's only temporary.

_**::flashback::**_

"_I was offered the Director of Sales & Purchasing position with DKNY."_

"_That's great news! We'll have to celebrate this weekend."_

"_The thing is…. Well, the job is in New York and if I accept, I have to move by Friday."_

"_Friday? That's in four days."_

"_I know."_

"_That's too soon and…what do you mean "if I accept"? Is something holding you back?"_

"_Not something, but someone."_

"_It's me, isn't it?"_

"_Look Derek, I know we've only dated less than a year, but I…this thing that we have together, it means something to me. I want this job, but I also want a life with you."_

"_I don't know what to say."_

"_I haven't accepted the offer. It's a great opportunity, I know that, but I'm willing to give it up if I can…if YOU can tell me that there's more to this. I love you, Derek."_

"_Kendall…"_

"_I'm not asking for marriage. It's too soon for that and I would never want to pressure you in that way. What I need is—I need you to tell me that you feel the same way as I do. I need something to go on."_

_**::end flashback::**_

Instead of going into the house, he moved to the porch swing and sat down with a heavy sigh. _When it rains, it pours_… he thought bitterly to himself. The skies had darkened to an almost pitch black and the crisp cool night air was beginning to settle down for the night. Although the grey clouds had dissipated after the storm finally passed through, the gloominess of the day was lingering and the affect was depressing. He sat in complete silence as he listened to the sounds of crickets and the rustling of leaves as a cool breeze blew past.

Goosebumps began to form on his bare forearms as he continued to sit, staring out into the dark abyss. He was cold. He felt empty. The heavy burden in his heart was making it difficult for him to breathe. He knew he should go inside. Meredith was probably worried sick about him, but his legs wouldn't move and he couldn't bring himself to go inside. Not yet.

_**::flashback::: **_

"_...I need something to go on."_

"_Kendall, I... What do you want me to say?"_

"_Please, just say something,"_

"_I care about you. I really do. You're sweet and kind and…you take care of me, even when I'm an ass and don't deserve it. You deal with Mark and take all his crap when you know you don't have to. You do all these wonderful things for me and all I do is take you for granted." _

"_What are you saying?"_

"_I'm saying that I don't deserve you. You deserve someone who loves you wholly and completely and with no baggage attached. I'm damaged. What you see is a façade. I'm just a shell of a man, going through the motions of life but not really living. When I met you, I thought I had found someone who could help me heal and to a large extent, you did. You taught me what it feels like to be loved and cared for and asked for nothing in return. I've been selfish in taking and not giving back, but that ends now. I love you Kendall, but I'm not in love with you and I can't pretend that I am just so you'll stay. This opportunity is great and I think you should take it. You're going to go to New York and you're going to be amazing, because that's just who you are. I'm so proud of you. Someday you're going to make someone a very lucky man, but that man is not me."_

"_Thank you."_

"_For what?"_

"_For being honest with me."_

"_-----"_

"_She really hurt you, didn't she?"_

"_Who?"_

"_Meredith."_

"_How did you…?"_

"_A woman always knows."_

_**::end flashback::**_

* * *

Saying goodbye was the hardest thing for him to do, but he was happy because he knew that she would be okay. She would be more than okay, because she will find someone who will love her unconditionally and knowing that made him happy.

"What are you doing sitting out here all by yourself?"

The burden that had weighed his heart down immediately lifted at the sound of her sweet voice. He could barely make out her small frame as she leaned against the door. A soft glow from the hallway lamp gave her presence an almost ethereal feel as a soft golden halo framed her body.

"Just thinking," he answered truthfully.

"About anything in particular?" she asked, her voice coming out in a hoarse whisper.

"No. Nothing in particular," he lied, turning away to look straight ahead. He didn't feel comfortable talking about Kendall. It was too soon and for some reason, it didn't seem appropriate to talk about it now.

"Oh," she answered. A chilly breeze blew past and she quickly wrapped her arms around her body to keep warm. "It's freezing out here. Why don't you come in and I can make you some soup or something. If you're hungry, that is."

Derek looked at her and smiled appreciatively. "That would be nice, thank you."


	25. Chapter 25

**Thank you for the wonderful comments. I really do appreciate each and every one of them.**

* * *

"Something smells delicious," said Derek, inhaling deeply as he walked into the kitchen.

He felt good after having showered and changed into a pair of khaki pants and an indigo buttoned down shirt with the sleeves rolled up over his forearms. Meredith had her back to him and was busy spooning soup into two bowls.

"It's just chicken noodle soup. Nothing special," she said modestly as she carefully reached down to pick up both bowls.

"Here, let me."

Meredith jerked, almost dropping the bowls when she felt Derek's warm breath fan her cheek before his hands reached around her to take the bowls from her suddenly nerveless fingers. "Um…okay."

"Thank you for making this," he said, turning back to give her an appreciative smile.

Meredith's knees buckled. They actually buckled at the sight of him standing before her, looking so handsome that her breath caught in her throat. When he smiled that way, she was reminded of the good times they spent together back in New York.

The color of his shirt brought out the depth and intensity of his eyes as they bored into her. She was having a difficult time concentrating; her eyes kept straying to his broad chest and the way the shirt clung to his lean body.

She grasped onto the corner of the kitchen island for support as she tried to regain some semblance of control over her nerves. The smile that had graced his handsome face was quickly replaced with a frown when he saw the discomfort that was etched across her furrowed brows.

"Are you okay?" he asked, carefully placing the bowls onto the table before moving back to where she stood. His strong hands reached out to cup her shoulders while he looked down at her, his eyes full of concern. "Is your leg bothering you?"

"What?" she asked, slightly bemused by his question. The contact of his body on hers was making it very difficult to concentrate on what he was saying. All her thoughts were focused on the contact of his warm hands on her heated skin. She looked up and immediately regretted doing so, for her legs finally gave out.

Had Derek not been standing there, she would've collapsed onto the floor. Instead, he bent down and picked her up, taking her completely off guard.

"Derek, I'm fine!" she began to protest as he held her close. "Where are you taking me? Please put me down."

In order to still her movements, he pressed her closer to his warm body and walked out of the kitchen into the family room. "Why is it that every time I try to carry you, you put up a fight?"

"I do not," she denied, all the while trying to squirm out of his hold. "I'm fine…really, I am."

"Why aren't you using your crutches? Where are they?" he asked looking around the room.

"In the closet."

"Why are they in the closet?"

"I didn't need them so I put them away."

"You almost collapsed earlier. What would you have done if I hadn't been there to catch you?"

"I would've picked myself up and went about my day."

"I'm serious, Mer!" he said, his voice raising. "You could've really hurt yourself."

"But I didn't – thanks to you, so let's drop it and eat before your food gets cold," she tried to pull herself up, but his hand on her shoulder kept her from moving.

"Stay right there," he demanded.

She turned to see him head back in the direction of the kitchen, only to return a few minutes later carrying a tray with the soup, silverware, and two bottles of mineral water.

Meredith was sitting on the couch with her back leaning against the armrest and her legs outstretched in front of her. Derek placed the tray onto the coffee table and pulled out a dinner napkin and carefully placed it across her lap. He uncapped the mineral water and left it on the table within her arm's reach.

"I should be the one taking care of you after the day you've had," she said, feeling uneasy by the attention he was giving her. "Mark told me about all the cases that came in because of the storm."

"I like taking care of you," he said as he handed her the bowl of soup. Their eyes connected and held, neither one wanting to look away. Derek felt something inside him stir at being so close to her and quickly cleared his throat. "You, um…you talked to Mark?"

"I called to see how…," she paused, not wanting to tell him that she called because she was worried about him. "…to see how he was."

"Oh," he replied, quickly looking away to mask his disappointment.

A part of him had hoped that she was worried about him and might be calling to see how he was. But if she had been worried about him, she would've called his office. She had his number. He made sure of that.

"How are you doing?" she asked, looking up at him.

He took a deep breath, followed by a long deep sigh as he emptied his lungs of the air that had occupied it only seconds ago.

"Today was a very difficult day for me," he answered honestly, remembering all the events from earlier. The surgeries. The endless meetings and consults with distraught family members. His breakup with Kendall. Him finally coming to terms with the fact that he still loves Meredith.

Meredith watched him carefully. He looked tense. His muscles looked tense as it strained against his shirt. She could see the obvious discomfort in his eyes as he closed them momentarily and laid his head back against the armrest.

"Your back is tense," she commented.

"Hmm…," he groaned in response, his eyes remained closed. "Four long surgeries can do all sorts of damage."

Meredith studied his features for another minute. It broke her heart to see him so tired. She felt helpless sitting there doing nothing as she watched the man she love in obvious physical pain. She placed her bowl onto the table, moved her good leg off the couch to form a V between her legs and said "Come here."

Derek opened his eyes and his breath nearly caught in his throat at the sight before him. She was facing him on the couch, her legs spread opened slightly and beckoning him to come over. Is this a dream? Did he fall asleep and is now fantasizing about Meredith? Would she still be wearing a cast if this were a dream? The cast is definitely a barrier so why would he…?

"Derek!"

"Wh-what?" he said, snapping out of his thoughts.

"I said come here," she commanded softly.

Derek blinked a couple of times and discreetly pinched himself, hoping to wake from this dream or whatever the heck it was. It didn't work. He wasn't dreaming and Meredith was, in fact, calling out to him.

"You want me to go where?" he asked, perplexed by her request.

"Here," she replied, patting the spot between her legs.

"For…what?" he asked, swallowing hard.

"Just come here already," she demanded, quickly losing patience.

Despite every functioning brain cell that screamed to him not to move from the safe distance he had created earlier, he got up and moved to sit between her legs with his back to her. If standing close to her earlier caused his heart to beat wildly against his chest, then being pressed up intimately next to her will most likely give him a heart attack.

"Are you comfortable?" she asked, shifting her weight around to give him more room on the couch.

"Mm-hmm," he replied, slightly breathless. He was afraid to speak; afraid that doing so would betray his feelings.

The electric current that shot through their bodies when Meredith touched him shocked them both into silence. Meredith had to bite down on her lower lip to keep from gasping while Derek closed his eyes to wipe the images of her from his mind.

_Maybe this isn't a good idea, after all_ … she thought. Her mind was willing her to remove her hand, but she couldn't do it. Something stronger, more magnetic drew her in and kept her hand from moving. The seconds that passed were agonizing as neither one knew what to do or how to react.

_You can do this. This is a massage, nothing more. Stay detached, stay unaffected. Masseuses do it all the time_ … she tried to convince herself.

She took a deep breath and began to move her fingers across the expanse of his broad shoulders. Her fingers were firm and methodical as they worked their way across his shoulders, pinching and kneading his muscles to try to ease the tension as much as she could while trying to stay unaffected.

_Hairy back. Beer belly. Small penises. C'mon, dammit!_ Nothing was working. She kept imagining how his bare skin would feel against her hand; how it would feel against her naked body.

Her lungs ached from the breath she was holding. All her energy and focus were on Derek and the way his body relaxed to her skilled hands. She could do this. She could be his friend and give him the massage she knew he needed and she wanted to give.

They had agreed to be friends. After the talk they had two nights ago, it was all that they could agree on. So many things had changed and so many things were revealed. It had been hard for them to come to terms with the fact that they were robbed of eight years together. Misunderstandings happened, but the repercussions were damaging when it resulted in the loss of true love; the loss of faith in love and all the precious memories it held.

_We're friends and nothing more. Just friends…_Meredith felt like a complete fool for repeating this mantra over and over again in her head, but it kept her sane and more importantly, it kept her mind from straying any more than it had already.

Thinking about Derek as anything other than a friend while her hands were busy roaming across his lean back and his body pressed up against her was not an option. She needed to remind herself of the fact that he's in a relationship with another woman and is off limits.

Derek found it difficult to think while Meredith had her hands on him. Granted, she was only doing it because of the massage, but the fact that she was touching him was enough to get him fired up. She was only doing this as a friend. That's what they are, after all. They agreed to be friends and nothing more. At the time, he didn't think to ask for more and it seemed that she wasn't looking for more. She had just gotten out of a bad relationship and he was still in one.

He released a soft groan when her knuckles found the spot on his back that had caused him so much discomfort. His head fell back of its own accord and somehow ended up on her shoulder. Meredith was taken aback by the sudden move. Her fingers hesitated, her movements stilled.

"Please don't stop," he pleaded, welcoming the relief on his back. "You just hit the spot."

"You…you want me to continue?" she croaked, her throat dry.

"Yes," he answered, his head still lying on her shoulder. "That knot had been bothering me all day and I couldn't work out the kink. You're just what I needed."

"Um…okay."

She sat upright and began to knead small circles across his lower back, alternating the pressure as she moved. The massage seemed to be working because he looked more relaxed as did the tense muscles.

"You have magic fingers," he spoke, the smile on his lips coming across in his voice, "I love you—"

Meredith's fingers stopped at the same time Derek's head shot up. "Uh…what I _meant_ to say was that I loved…your hands. For working its magic," he covered up quickly.

Instead of alleviating the tension that had built up since his little slip-up, it made it worse.

"I think I'm tired" she blurted out, moving away from him. The fact that she was pressed up between the armrest and his body did not allow her much room other than to squirm uncomfortably.

"Yeah" he said, literally leaping off the couch. "Thanks for the…massage."

The silence that fell upon them at that moment was so thick; a knife could cut through it. Neither one dared to look at the other.

"I'm gonna go to bed," she announced.

"I'll clean up," he volunteered and began to busy himself with the task of gathering everything onto the tray while avoiding eye contact.

"Good night, Derek."

"Good night, Mer."

Meredith was amazed at how quickly she was able to hobble out of the room with the heavy cast in tow. She let out a big sigh when she reached her room and closed the door with a soft click.

_Damn! Shit! Fuck!_…she thought angrily to herself.

Derek tried to keep his emotions in check as he cleared the dishes. He almost let it slip. The cover up was pathetic, but it was that or let it known how he felt about her. Things were happening too fast. He didn't want to rush it. Not this time. Not with Meredith. She means too much for him to jeopardize what they have without thinking it through.

* * *

"Did you talk to Meredith?"

"When?" Derek asked, looking up from the chart he was writing notes into.

"Last night. She called to ask about you, but you were already gone."

"She asked about me?" Derek knew she called Mark. She told him so. What he didn't know was that she had asked about him

"Hm-hmm."

"What did she say?"

"Not much, but I knew she was worried that you weren't home yet."

"Oh…," he said, remembering his visit to see Kendall.

"What did you do?"

"I didn't do anything."

"You have that look."

"What look?"

"The guilty look. What did you do?" Mark asked, giving Derek an accusing glare.

"I didn't do anything. I went to see Kendall."

"You had Meredith at home waiting for you and you went to see Kendall instead?"

"Why wouldn't I?" he asked incredulously. "Kendall is my--I mean she _was_ my girl—"

"Hold the phone! What do you mean was?"

"KendallandIbrokeuplastnight," he muttered under his breath.

"You broke up?" Mark yelled, his voice echoed through the halls.

"Was it necessary to announce that to everyone?" Derek hissed as a few of the nurses and doctors turned to look at them curiously.

"Yes!" smirked Mark. "Uh, I mean…no."

"Why are you so damn excited?"

"You and Meredith."

"What about us?"

"You guys can, you know, get together and do what people like you normally do."

"People like us? What the hell is that supposed to mean."

"You know. People in love and stuff."

Derek gave Mark a bland stare as the idiocy of his friend's comment sunk in.

"Kendall and I were in lo—"

"No you weren't and don't lie. You lie. Meredith lie. You both need to lie together and—"

"You're disgusting. Why am I friends with you again?" Derek closed the file shut and began to walk away.

"Because I was the one who saved your sorry ass," replied Mark with a smug grin as he fell into step beside him.

"Right."

"Did you tell Meredith?"

"No."

"Are you going to?"

"I don't know. Maybe."

"Maybe? This is what you've been waiting for. She's back in your life. You're single. She's single."

"It's not that easy, Mark. She was engaged and I…just broke if off with Kendall. I can't jump from one bed to another. I'm not you."

"That's true," he smirked. "You're an idiot.

"What?"

"Eight years were wasted, Derek. Eight. Why are you hesitating? Especially now that you know it wasn't her fault."

"Stuff like this takes time. I can't spring that kind of news on her and expect…," he trailed off. "I don't even know if she feels the same way. I want to take it slow. WE need to take it slow."

"Whatever," replied Mark, disappointment etched in the lines around his eyes. "Just remember that you're no spring chicken."

"Meaning?"

"Meaning that you, my friend, aren't getting any younger. Now Meredith, she's young and hot, but you…you're old. If you sit around for too long, you're going to lose her to some young hotshot."

"She's not going to leave. Is she?"

"I don't know, but do you really want to wait and find out?"


	26. Chapter 26

**Thank you so much for all the wonderfully amazing comments. You guys are great!!**

* * *

Meredith woke up feeling good. Today was the day. She was finally going to have her cast removed. The last few days passed by in a big blur. Derek worked late most of the time, so they rarely saw each other. She had to admit that she missed him. She missed his smile. She missed his scent. She missed everything about him. On the one occasion that they were home at the same time, they never spoke about what happened. They weren't avoiding. They just didn't know what happened, so talking about it made it all the more difficult.

Putting on her robe, she washed her face, brushed her teeth and trudged down the stairs toward the kitchen. The rich aroma of freshly brewed coffee wafted past her nose as she was halfway down the steps. She paused for a minute, having remembered that Derek told her he had to work today. Was Cristina here? Did Derek let her in before he left? Could it be…Kendall?

She heard movements in the kitchen and took slow purposeful steps as she rounded the corner and stopped at the entrance to the kitchen. What she saw surprised her. Derek stood in front of the stove, making what smelled like French toast.

"Good morning, sleepyhead."

A smile spread across her face upon hearing his voice. He still had his back to her and was busy working on another toast

"How did you know I was here?"

"I smelled you coming a mile away. You're still using that lavender conditioner?"

She smiled again. He remembered.

"Today is the big day."

"Yeah," she replied.

She hobbled over to the island and leaned against it while she watched him cook. He was very meticulous in his movements. He was always comfortable in the kitchen and she remembered how she used to love to watch him cook.

"I bet you're happy to get rid of me," she said.

"Why would I be happy and why would I want to get rid of you?"

His response took her by surprise. "Well, I thought that maybe…you would want me to move out now that my cast is off."

Derek stopped what he was doing and turned to face her. "You being in a cast is not a condition for staying here. I meant what I said to you before. You can stay here for as long as you need—with or without the cast."

Her heart jumped her throat at the look he gave her. "Thank you for that, but I feel like I'm intruding."

"You're not."

"But you and Kendall haven't been able to spend any time alone together since I came." She noticed that she hadn't been by since the first day she arrived at the house. Although she and Kendall got along, she couldn't help but wonder if she was the reason she hadn't been by the house.

Derek's face fell at the mention of Kendall. She noticed it immediately and her suspicions were confirmed. She had to leave. She was ruining his relationship by being here. He was too kind to say anything about it, but she knew.

"Kendall and I…we're not," he began to explain then stopped when his phone began to ring. "Hold on."

He walked out into the family room and answered the call. Meredith moved to the windows overlooking the lake outside. The view was breathtaking. She loved the lake. It was serene and calming and her favorite part of the house. She could see grey clouds in the far horizon and wondered if they were set for another storm.

"_Hello."_

"_I had Olivia postpone my surgery for later today. I have something I need to do first."_

"_What?"_

"_No, I saw her last night."_

"_Hm-mmm. I'm taking Meredith to get her cast removed."_

Meredith's ears perked up at the mention of her name. He rearranged his schedule for her? He saw Kendall last night? Was that why he came home so late?

"_We already talked about this."_

"_Tell the guys I'll be there tonight. Bye."_

Derek hung up the phone and walked back into the kitchen. He saw Meredith by the window and walked up next to her.

"That was Mark."

"Derek. I really think that I should—"

"Let's eat. The food is getting cold and we need to get ready soon. I'm taking you to the hospital today."

"But—"

"I'm not going to make you stay here if you don't want to. Let's get this cast removed and we'll talk about the rest later. Okay?"

* * *

"How does your leg feel?" asked Derek as he drove them home.

"Weird."

"Does it hurt?" he asked, his voice instantly filled with concern.

"No, it just feels…different," she explained. "I guess I've gotten so used to having the cast on that it feels weird not to have something heavy attached to my leg."

Derek smiled at her explanation.

"Derek?"

"Hmm?"

"You didn't have to rearrange your schedule for me."

"I know," he smirked.

Silence.

"Thanks for coming with me."

"Thanks for letting me come with you," he responded in kind and winked at her when she smiled up at him. "Are you going to be okay by yourself tonight? I don't have to go."

Since they left the hospital, he had grown increasingly concerned with the grey clouds that had moved in since the morning. The forecast had predicted scattered evening rain, but the grey, almost black clouds looked foreboding as they loomed in the sky overhead. He didn't want to leave her, but he didn't want to press the subject.

"I'll be fine. Go and have a great time. I'm going to take a long, hot bath and curl up on the couch with a good book and hot soup."

"Soup is not enough to keep you sustained."

"Soup is fine. I haven't been able to exercise because of the cast and if I don't stop eating so much, I'll blow up like a balloon," she joked, giggling half-heartedly. "No one's going to want me when that happens."

"I'd want you," he answered before thinking.

Meredith stopped giggling as the tension mounted in the small confines of the car. She only said that as a joke, not as some ploy to get him to….to what? Her mind was racing a mile a minute as she averted her gaze to peer outside the window. _He'd want her? Did he really say that?_

Derek realized his second slip-up in the last twenty four hours and silently berated himself. The knuckles had turned white as he gripped onto the steering wheel. His heart was beating madly against his chest and he was sure she could hear it. The awkward silence stretched between them, neither one dared to move. He kept his eyes trained on the road while his hands continued to hold the steering wheel in an almost death-like grip.

The sigh of relief was almost audible as they released the breath that both had been holding. Derek carefully maneuvered the car to the front of the house and before he had it in park, Meredith already had the door open. She whispered a quick thank you and ran up the front steps toward the house.

* * *

"I'm leaving now," Derek yelled from the bottom of the stairs. He had finished lighting the fireplace for her. The cold chill from outside had crept inside the house and he wanted to make sure she was comfortable.

After they got home, he showered and got ready for his poker night with the guys. It was their Friday night ritual and they hadn't missed a game in the last year. Tonight, they were meeting at Mark's apartment which was halfway across town. Derek felt bad leaving her alone and offered to stay with her, but she insisted that he go. She wasn't about to let him miss the game on account of her.

"Okay," she yelled from the hall. "Drive carefully."

She stuck her head over the top of the stairs to see him standing in the foyer looking up at her. He had on a pair of dark stone washed jeans with a white buttoned down shirt. The sleeves were rolled up over his forearms and she couldn't help but think how sexy he looked. Her throat felt dry as her eyes devoured the sight of him.

He hesitated, almost waiting for her to ask him to stay and when she didn't, he gave a slight nod of his head and walked out the door. She closed her eyes, her heart heavy from the loss. She missed him already. She didn't want him to leave, but it would not have been fair for her to ask him to stay. He had offered to stay, but she knew he was doing it out of obligation.

Once she heard him drive off, she walked into her bathroom and drew a warm bath. She poured some lavender and chamomile bath salts into the water and quickly undressed. The warm water was a welcomed relief to her aching body as she slowly lowered herself into the oversized tub. She closed her eyes and leaned back against the pillow headrest on a soft sigh as the scented water completely enveloped her body. She was in heaven.

* * *

An hour later, dressed in a jade green silk lace cami and vanilla colored a-line skirt with a side slit that ran up the length of the skirt to mid-thigh, she felt good. The bath did wonders to ease the tension in her back and relaxed her leg muscles. She took one last look at herself in the mirror, taking in the way her soft golden tresses framed her flushed cheeks. Her makeup was minimal, consisting of a touch of blush and lip gloss. Her body felt soft and smooth from the lotion she had lathered on it after the bath. She took one last look at herself in the full length mirror and had to admit that she looked good. Her attire, hair, and makeup were understated, but it still exuded sexy and she liked how it made her feel.

The doorbell rang as she descended the stairs. She walked to the door, pulled back the curtains and was surprised to see who it was on the other side of the door.

"Hi."

"May I come in?"

"Yes, of course." She moved aside to allow her guest to walk past her into the foyer. "Derek's not here. He's at…"

"Poker night, I know" finished Kendall. "I actually came here to see you."

They paused in the foyer, each one waiting for the other to speak. "Shall we?" Meredith finally spoke, gesturing to the living room. She felt awkward acting as the hostess, since she was the one who was the guest at Derek's house. Kendall was his girlfriend, yet she was behaving strangely which irked Meredith a little.

"Is something wrong," Meredith asked, eyeing the box that Kendall held in her hands.

Together, they walked to the living room where Kendall deposited the box onto a nearby table and turned to face Meredith. "Your cast is gone."

Meredith was distracted, her attention still focused on the box. "What? Oh yes, they took it off today."

"You look great. I bet you must be glad to be rid of that."

"I definitely don't miss it," she replied, smiling at Kendall. Her eyes kept straying to the box, yet she didn't dare ask what was inside.

"Those are Derek's stuff," said Kendall, as she followed Meredith's gaze to the box.

Meredith was confused but she remained quiet.

"I forgot to give them to him last night when he stopped by to say goodbye."

"Say goodbye?" she asked, feeling even more confused.

Kendall looked at Meredith long and hard before it finally dawned on her that she didn't know. "I'm leaving…to New York. Tonight."

"You're leaving?" echoed Meredith, her brows furrowed together, stressing her confusion even more.

"Derek didn't tell you?"

"Tell me what?"

"He and I...," she paused to clear her throat."We…we broke up."

It was hard to hide the look of surprise on Meredith's face as what Kendall said sunk in. _They broke up?_

"But Derek…he loves you. Why did he—?"

"He doesn't love me," replied Kendall solemnly. "I wish he did, because he…he's a wonderful man. But I can't make him love me when his heart already belongs to someone else."

"S-someone else?" she whispered, clearly shaken by the news. "How can this be?"

"He loves you, Meredith."

"Me? No, you're mistaken. We're friends, that's all. Oh god, please don't think—"

"It's okay, Meredith. I know all about you two and what happened eight years ago in New York. Derek told me."

"He…he told you?" Meredith gasped. She felt lightheaded as though all the air had been sucked out of her lungs. "Oh god…"

"Please don't be angry with him."

"I…I…," she grabbed onto the back of the loveseat for support. "I need to sit."

"Of course!" said Kendall as she rushed over to help Meredith move to sit on the couch. "Does your leg hurt? Stay here."

Meredith watched as Kendall rushed out of the room, only to return a few seconds later with a glass of water. "Here drink this," she said, offering her the glass.

It took a few minutes for Meredith to calm her nerves long enough to look at Kendall.

"I'm sorry if my visit upset you. My flight is leaving tonight and I wanted to stop by to say goodbye. I know we haven't known each other long, but I feel as though we could've been good friends if we had the chance." Kendall moved to sit beside her on the couch and turned to face her. "He's an amazing man, you know."

"I know."

"You know, I would never dare tell anyone how to live their life. And it's only because I care so deeply for him that I'm even doing this." Kendall pulled her hand back and took a deep breath before she continued to speak to a dumbfounded Meredith. "He still loves you, Meredith. Deep down, I think you feel the same. He deserves to be happy. I couldn't give him that, but I believe with all my heart that you can and I hope that you'll give him a chance at love again."

"I…I don't know what to say," replied Meredith hoarsely, after finding her voice. "I'm…so sorry."

"Please don't be. This past year has been amazing and I wouldn't give it up for anything. If its one thing that Derek taught me is that true love really exists."


	27. Chapter 27

**Thanks again for the wonderful comments. You guys are truly the best.**

**Recommended song: "Somewhere Only We Know" by Keane**

* * *

"Four of a kind, baby!" Mark yelled as he threw his cards onto the table. "Hand over your money, gentlemen." 

Derek wanted to wipe the smug look off his friend's face as he grudgingly pushed the chips over to him. Derek usually didn't mind losing but he always hated losing to Mark because he's the worst kind of winner.

"How does Meredith look with the cast off?" asked Mark as he dealt the next hand.

"How would I know?" Derek replied, giving him a quizzical look.

"You live with her, don't you?"

"It just came off today and I don't look at her."

"Liar."

"You have someone living with you?" John asked, directing his question to Derek. He turned to Mark, but he just shrugged his shoulders. "Do you know what these two are talking about?"

"Nope, I have no idea," replied Alex before turning expectantly to Mark to wait for an explanation.

"Ask him," Mark directed with a nod of his head toward Derek.

"Well?" Both John and Alex said in unison.

"Well what?"

"Tell us about this woman you have living with you when you have a girlfriend and whose legs you're checking out but are lying to us about," replied Alex.

"I'm not checking out her legs," he denied vehemently. "And I don't have a girlfriend. Why are we talking instead of playing poker?"

"Because it's more interesting to hear about this mysterious woman at your house whom you want to have sex with," replied Alex in one long breath, cocking his brow suggestively.

"Who said anything about sex?" he asked, turning to shoot daggers at Mark. "Meredith and I…we're friends. Nothing more."

"So why are you checking out her legs?"

"I'm not—"

"And fantasizing about having sex with her?" Mark chimed in.

"I do not—"

"Did you fantasize about sex while she had the cast on? That could be a little tricky, but it can be done."

"Shut up!" His chair fell backward as he abruptly stood up. His voice was drowned out by the booming sound of thunder that swept across the sky at that very moment.

"Whoa, sit down. No need to upset the man upstairs," joked Mark.

Derek's chest heaved as he pulled his chair upright and sat back down. His ears had been ringing since the start of the unfortunate conversation, so he wasn't sure if it was really thunder that he heard or the hammering in his chest.

"Sorry, man."

"Let's just play so I can kick all your asses and take your money," he replied, picking up his cards to resume the game.

He didn't want to talk about Meredith. Or rather, he didn't want the guys to talk about her as though she were a sex object. It was demeaning and he wasn't about to stand for it. Not with his Meredith.

Mark flipped open the river cards and Derek sat still as he tried to hide his excitement from the fact that he had a full house. Suckers! He could almost picture the looks on their smug faces when he revealed his hand. Serves them right for making fun of him!

His thought was disrupted when a loud roar bellowed in the sky and he realized that the thunder he thought he heard earlier was, in fact, real. His mind instantly went to Meredith.

"I have to go," he said scooting his chair back suddenly. He didn't take notice of the surprised look on everyone's faces as he got up to walk to the door.

"Look, we're sorry for giving you shit earlier, but there's no reason to leave."

Derek was too preoccupied to hear what Alex said. Meredith was alone in the house and she was terrified of thunder. He needed to go to her and make sure she was okay. Being there with her was more important.

"Wait! We haven't finished this hand."

"I need to go. The storm. Thunder," he spoke, barely making any sense as he pulled on his jacket. She…she's terrified of thunder. I gotta go."

"But the game!" All three men protested.

"I fold," he said, tossing his cards onto the table. He grabbed his keys and flew out the door.

* * *

The drive home was hell. The scattered shower they had predicted turned into a full blown storm as the heavy downpour made it virtually impossible to see the road in front of him. He'd driven to and from Mark's place hundreds of times over the past eight years to know every corner and side street by heart, but the rain brings out the worst drivers and tonight they came out in the masses. 

He carefully maneuvered his car through the dark, wet streets and let out a sigh of relief as he turned down the road that led to the heavy wrought iron gates to his home. The car came to a screeching halt on the gravel pavement as he slammed the brakes and put the car in park. The rain was unrelenting as it poured down from the heavens, drenching him as he made his way from the car to the covered porch. He noticed that the lights were on as he surveyed the outside of the house.

He flung the door open, ran into the foyer and stopped dead in his tracks. The house had an eerie silence that unsettled his nerves as he moved from room to room, calling out her name. His heart lurched into the pit of his stomach when she was nowhere to be found. He ran up the stairs, taking two steps at a time. His concern turned to sheer panic when he couldn't find her.

"Meredith!" he called out. "Where are you?"

He double checked the rooms once more before he headed back downstairs; his shoulders slumped over in defeat. She had to be home. Where else could she be? She wouldn't have left without telling him. Would she?

He wrenched off his jacket in frustration and tossed it on the banister. On the drive home, he had replayed in his mind all the things he was going to say to her. He was going to tell her about Kendall. He was going to tell her he still loved her. But it seems he wasn't going to get his chance. She was gone. Gone from his life again.

He walked into the kitchen, pulled out a shot glass and bottle of Scotch from the cabinet and sat down on the table with a heavy-hearted sigh. He uncapped the bottle, poured himself a double shot and downed the fiery liquid in one swig. He winced when it burned a hot path down his throat but he didn't care. He felt cold. Empty. Nothing mattered anymore.

He slammed the glass onto the table and went to pour himself another shot when something in the corner of his eyes caught his attention. His head turned, as if in slow motion, to peer out the window. What he saw almost sent him into shock. Within seconds, he leapt out of the chair, ran into the dining room and out through the French doors.

**I walked across an empty land  
I knew the pathway like the back of my hand  
I felt the earth beneath my feet  
Sat by the river and it made me complete**

Down by the edge of the lake stood a lonely figure, staring off into the far distance. On any given day, this would not seem odd or unusual. But on this day, when the dark skies were unrelenting in its punishment of the earth with its heavy pelts of rain, coupled with the brute force of the thunder and lightning in the not so far distance, it was unusual.

**Oh simple thing where have you gone  
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on  
So tell me when you're gonna let me in  
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin**

Meredith was deep in thought. So preoccupied, in fact, that she didn't notice the way her body shook from the chill that enveloped her. After Kendall left, she had every intention of going to bed to ride the storm out. She was physically and emotionally drained. The news of their breakup unsettled her. She felt to blame for ruining his happiness yet again and the enormity of that weighed down her already heavy heart.

Her mind wandered back to the night in New York. The night they had planned to run away together. It had been raining just like it was now. She had just finished packing her suitcase when her mother came walking in the door unexpectedly. She recalled the angry words her mother spat at her when she realized what was going on.

_**::flashback::**_

"_You're making a fool of yourself. Your life has barely started. Why would you want to give that up to follow some boy?"_

"_I don't care. I love him and he loves me. We'll grow old together and we're going to be happy because we have each other."_

"_How do you suppose he's going to support you on his measly salary?"_

"_I…I'll get a job."_

"_Doing what? Wait tables? You're a Grey. Grey women do not wait on tables."_

"_There's nothing wrong with waiting tables!"_

"_I did not raise you to be ordinary!"_

"_You raised me? That's a laugh! When are you ever here? Your precious job means more to you than I ever did!"_

"_Don't forget that this job you speak of is what your precious Derek will be doing. If you think I'm an absent mother, you'd better get used to it because he will be the same."_

"_He's nothing like you! He loves me!"_

"_He doesn't love you! If he did, why would he try to take you away from your home, your life?"_

"_This is NOT a home, it's a prison! My private hell for the past three years! I may not have had a choice when I was young, but I am older now and I choose NOT to live with you. I hate you!"_

_**::end flashback::**_

Meredith could still feel the sting of the slap when her mother's hand connected with her cheek. She remembered running to her room, screaming that she would never forgive her if she ruined Derek's life. Her mother had threatened to end his medical career. She made her threat and it worked. Meredith accepted defeat and ran to her room in tears. She remembered staring out her window at the rain, wondering if Derek was there waiting for her.

**I came across a fallen tree  
I felt the branches of it looking at me  
Is this the place we used to love?  
Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?**

A fresh wave of tears streamed down her wet face. She closed her eyes to try to imagine what it must have been like for him to stand in the pouring rain, waiting for her. She was lost in her own world; the devastation she felt was so powerful that she didn't hear footsteps coming up behind her.

"Meredith?"

Her sobs stopped when she heard her name. It was soft, but it was his voice. She'd recognize it anywhere. She opened her eyes and willed herself to turn around. The heavy sheets of rain made it difficult to see, but she was able to make out his form as he stood a few feet from her.

I'm so sorry," she whimpered, unable to look him straight in the eyes. "Please forgive me."

Seeing her like this, shook Derek to the core. She looked so lost. She was hurting and he didn't know what to do. He felt helpless. All he could do was stand there, frozen to the spot.

"I'm so sorry for hurting you," she cried. "I should've been there."

**Oh simple thing where have you gone  
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on  
So tell me when you're gonna let me in  
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin**

Suddenly, everything fell into place. Derek thought he was over it, but standing there with her in the rain brought back all the painful memories. She was talking about New York.

"Why didn't you call me? Why?" he asked. "I waited for you."

"I couldn't. It was too painful. I had to leave and I knew that if I called you…if I heard your voice, I wouldn't be able to do it. My mother—"

"I waited for you for six hours!" he yelled. "I was worried crazy about you. Do you know how terrifying it was for me? I was afraid something had happened to you. That you had gotten into an accident on the way there. That you were lying dead in the streets and…," he trailed off, trying to catch his breath.

**So if you have a minute why don't we go  
Talk about it somewhere only we know?  
This could be the end of everything  
So why don't we go  
Somewhere only we know?**

His chest heaved from the heavy rain as it beat down on his body, coupled with the sudden rush of adrenaline that shot through his veins.

"You could've called. I know your mother threatened you, but you should've called. You owed me that much. I spent months after you left wondering if it was me. Wondering if it was something I said or did that drove you away. I tried to look for you, did you know that?"

"You…you looked for me?" she whispered, unable to believe it. "No" she said, shaking her head. "It was over."

"It wasn't over," he said, his voice hoarse. "It STILL isn't over."

Meredith's breath caught in her throat when he reached out to cup her neck and pulled her to him. Their bodies collided as their lips crashed in a searing kiss that left them both breathless.

**This could be the end of everything  
So why don't we go  
Somewhere only we know?**


	28. Chapter 28

**Thank you for the comments.**

* * *

The French doors to the dining room burst open with a loud crash that rattled the glass panes of every window in that room. Derek came stumbling in with Meredith over his arms while her legs were wrapped tightly around his waist, her fingers tangled in his dark wet curls as she pulled him close. Her body ached for the sweet contact of his body. Their mouths remained fused together in the kiss that neither one wanted to end. Their tongues were entangled in an erotic dance of give and take, seeking more of the sweet nectar of their all-consuming passion for each other. 

Derek reluctantly broke the kiss and walked the short distance to the dining table where he gently laid her down across the cool maple surface. The dark mahogany provided a contrast to her milky skin as she laid there for his desire-filled eyes to devour every inch of her luscious body.

Seeing her there in complete abandon aroused his senses as his eyes traveled down her body to the hardened nubs of her pert breasts as it strained against the flimsy lace covering, begging to be touched. Her damp silk cami top lay pressed up against her body like a second skin and left a fair amount of her midriff exposed to his hungry gaze.

"Derek," she called to him, her arms raised to him invitingly.

Hearing Meredith whimper and plead for him was all the encouragement he needed and within seconds, he found himself virtually thrown on top of her as his lips sought hers. His tongue brushed past her slightly parted lips to slip inside and mate with hers.

Her moans urged him further as he moved down past her red swollen lips to the sensitive spot on her neck. He found this spot the first night they spent together all those years ago and the response he was able to elicit from her had intoxicated both their senses.

"Oh my god, Derek…," she sighed when his hot mouth trailed across the sensitized spot, nipping and licking as he moved past. Meredith's throat was parched, dry from the panting and heavy breathing, but she couldn't control herself. No one had been able to arouse her so much from kissing her neck as much as Derek did. "You…you remember."

"Of course I remember," he replied, giving her a wicked grin. "This spot," he continued between kisses, "…is mine and only mine."

"Yes, oh god…yes!" she released an anguished moan. Her body was taut with tension and she felt like she would explode from the sheer pleasure and heaven help her, all they had done up to that point was kiss. He smiled, pleased that he could still evoke that reaction from her after all these years.

She protested weakly when he stood back up. His strong, firm hands pushed her skirt up her bare thighs while he nudged her legs apart so he could stand snugly between them, his straining manhood pressed up against the juncture of her heated core. His hand shot out to cup her breast. His fingers teased and massaged the aching flesh before he released it to move to its twin. His arms wound around her back as he lowered his head to her exposed stomach to pay it homage while he licked, teased, and rained hot kisses along her ribcage.

"Oh my god!" she moaned, her head tossed from side to side as his tongue teased the inside of her belly button, simultaneously hitting the muscle that was connected to her g-spot. She nearly came as she writhed against his chest, her body immersed in sheer pleasure.

Derek pulled back, this time taking her with him so that she sat upright. Their eyes connected and in that moment, the love they felt for each other was as clear as day. The smile that spread across their faces communicated a deep love and connection that went beyond words. They were soul mates.

Derek whisked her up in his strong arms and held her close as he swung her lithe body around. The breath was knocked out of her body when he pressed her up against the wall with a wicked smile. He laced his fingers with hers and held her hands captive on either side of her head. Meredith tried to move, tried to reach out to touch any part of him that she could, but he resisted and held her hands still while he lowered his head to her aching breast and took a straining nipple into his hot mouth. Meredith's head fell back, her eyes fluttered close on a soft sigh as his lips teased her flesh through the lace top. His tongue swept across the tip before his mouth enclosed the nub completely to suckle on the engorged tip.

"Please…Derek," she pleaded, unsure of what she was asking for.

"Please what?" he asked between kisses. "Tell me what you want, Meredith."

"I want to touch you so badly, it hurts. Please…let go of my hands."

Derek's heart beat madly against his chest as he complied with her pleas. He released her fingers and immediately, her hands shot out to reach for him. She tugged impatiently on his shirt until the buttons finally gave way and flew in different directions across the room. They were too engrossed in their own rapture to take notice. Meredith's breathing was short and ragged as she took in his beautiful, muscled form. He truly was a sight to behold. Her eyes swept across his bare chest, taking in every curve, every inch, every rise and fall of his magnificent body so that she could imprint the image in her mind forever.

She placed a tentative hand on his chest and gasped at the feel of the heat emanating from him. Her eyes glazed over in wonder as she touched him, her fingers soft and light. Derek watched with fascination as she touched him, her mind lost in wonder as she explored his body. Her eyes lowered to his waist and in an almost dreamlike state, her fingers followed until they settled on the button of his jeans. Instead of releasing him from its confines, her fingers moved past until it settled on his straining manhood as it pulsed and throbbed against the tight fabric.

"Mer…," he moaned.

In one swift move, he pressed up against her, her breath caught in her throat when she looked up to see his face was within less than an inch from hers. She was lost as she gazed into the dark pools of his desire; the blue depths reminding her of the calm sea before the storm. Without hesitation, Derek reached around and pulled her up into his arms. Meredith instinctively wrapped her legs around his waist, her arms laced around his neck for support. He pulled away from the wall and proceeded past the family room to the stairs. Meredith reached down and yanked her cami top off, carelessly discarding it onto the floor. She laced her fingers into his hair and pressed him close as her breasts brushed against his bare chest, her nipples jutting out to tease as their bodies pressed up against one another.

Derek took the steps two at a time with Meredith precariously clinging to his body. He needed to be inside her and he couldn't wait another moment longer. He reached the top of the landing, walked into his room and carefully deposited her onto the bed. Derek was sure he almost stopped breathing. She was so beautiful, her smile captivating as she looked at him with longing. He quickly undressed and bent down to her body where he helped her remove her skirt and panties in one quick move.

"You're so beautiful," he whispered as his eyes gazed adoringly at her naked form.

Their mouths crashed together in a heated kiss, their tongues sweeping in long furtive strokes inside the deep recesses of their mouths. Their moans and whimpers echoed throughout the room as their long, drugging kiss deepened to a fevered pitch. With their mouths still connected, they inched their sweat-slicked bodies up to the center of the bed.

"I've missed you so much," whimpered Meredith as she shifted lightly to allow him to lie between her legs.

She moaned in eager anticipation when his throbbing penis rubbed against the wetness of her soft, plump folds. She was ready for him. Ready to for him to fill her completely with his very essence. "Oh god, please Derek. Please don't make me wait too long," she begged. She bit down hard on her lips to control her erratic breathing as his engorged tip rubbed and teased her heated flesh.

Her hips lifted off the bed of its own volition to grind against his, the need to feel him inside her drove her to near madness as he stilled her movements, his penis pressed against the juncture but not moving any further than to allow the tip to rub and stroke the length of her welcomed opening.

Before Meredith was able to process his next move, he thrust hard into her, filling her completely. "Oh god, Derek!" she screamed at the pleasurable invasion. He stopped when he was able to go no further and allowed them both to relish the feel of their bodies and souls connecting as one. Meredith tried to move her hips, but he stilled her movements once more. "Wh-what are you doing?" she asked, looking up at him in confusion.

"I've waited a long time for this and I want it to last," he replied, his voice strained. The excitement from being enveloped in her sweet warmth was so intense, he was afraid he would come and he wasn't ready. Far from it.

"But I…oh god…I need you to move," she moaned, trying desperately to move. "Mmm…I need to feel you…," her voice trailed as she focused on clenching her inner muscles.

"Jesus, Mer." The feel of her tight walls expanding and contracting around him did him in and he began to move. He withdrew from her with such painstaking slowness that Meredith glared at him for teasing her when she was at her peak. He pulled out and slammed hard into her with so much force it left them winded. Their bodies moved in perfect unison as their hips thrust and writhed, seeking the ultimate pleasure that only their bodies could give.

Just when Meredith didn't think she could handle the onslaught of his driving force, he rolled them over so that she lay on top of him. Her hair spilled in soft curls around his face as she lifted to sit up. She gave him a wicked grin as she began to grind her hips, moving in figure eights around his thick penis as he simultaneously pumped into her. Meredith's head fell back in complete abandon when she felt her muscled wall collapse around him.

"Derek! Oh my god, Derek… I'm cumming!" she screamed, her fingers dug into his broad shoulders as wave after wave of her orgasm washed past her body. Her g-spot throbbed; her clit hummed and tingled from what was the best orgasm of her life.

Before she had time to recover, Derek sat up and shifted her body so they faced each other in bed. Their bodies were still connected and never had Meredith been more aware of that as her muscles adjusted to accommodate his throbbing manhood inside her wet walls. Derek lifted her hip off him and pressed her down on his long, hardened spear, filling her to the hilt. He continued with this sweet assault on her sensitized flesh until she came yet again. Her second orgasm struck her with so much force that she thought she would spontaneously combust from its sheer intensity.

Derek felt his own orgasm build as he withdrew and slammed into her welcoming body. "Oh god, Mer…I'm going to cum," he groaned, his voice strained from the mounting tension of his taut body. He flipped her over onto her back and slammed into her over and over again, until his seed spilled into her.

It took a few moments before their ragged breathing returned to normal. Derek rained kisses on her neck, her face, and her lips while their bodies shuddered from the pleasurable release. As they lay cocooned in each other's embrace, Derek's eyes caught a glimpse of something blue tucked in her sweat-slicked hair. His heart skipped a beat when he realized what it was, his eyes damp from the tears that began to pool in the corners.

"You kept it?" he asked, fingering the delicate jewelry. "After all these years…you kept it?"

"It was the only thing I had left of you."

Derek's chest swelled with pride. For the first time in eight years, he felt complete again.


	29. Chapter 29

Meredith opened her eyes to discover that she was alone in bed. For a split second she thought she might have dreamt everything that happened, but the images of them making love were so vivid in her mind that it had to be real. She propped herself up on her elbow and brushed the stray curls from her disheveled hair as she looked around to see that she was, in fact, in Derek's room. The empty pillow next to her had a very clear indentation on it and she smiled sweetly as the memories of the previous night flooded her mind. She remembered laying with her head resting in the crook of his neck as he stroked her hair and whispered sweet words to her. She remembered screaming his name as she climaxed from the mind-blowing orgasms that only he could elicit from her as they made love in front of the fireplace, in the shower, and then once more after they returned to bed.

She let out a contented sigh as she plopped her head back down onto the pillow. It was amazing how one night in Derek's arms could make her feel whole again, but that was exactly how she felt. For years, she lived the existence of someone who, to the outside world, seemed to have everything – fame, money and the supposed love of her life. What they didn't know was that Peter only filled a void that only one person could ever make complete. The fame and money were tangible items that meant nothing when deep down her heart yearned for the one thing that money could never buy - Derek. He was her soul mate. There was no question about that. The years of separation only served to make her all the more aware of that fact. He was it for her. She's done. No one and nothing else compared to what they have and now that she's older and in control of her life, she was going to make sure that they never part. Not ever again.

Her eyes swept across the room once more before it fell onto a single red rose on the nightstand next to her. She picked it up and her eyes immediately zoomed onto the small note attached. She recognized his writing and a smile spread across her lips as she read it:

_**You looked so peaceful sleeping that I didn't want to wake you. Went out for breakfast and will be back soon. I miss you already.**_

_**Derek**_

She brought the silky crimson petals up to her nose and inhaled deeply as the sweet fragrant scent filled her senses. Everything was so perfect as if she was living a dream.

She heard noises coming from downstairs and sat up with a jolt. The smile that was on her face spread into a bigger grin as her heart raced from the excitement of seeing him again. She jumped out of bed and sprinted into her room where she quickly freshened up and changed into a pair of grey lounge pants with a long sleeved black top. The dark clouds had dissipated over night and the sun was shining brightly, but there was still an evening chill that lingered.

She checked herself in the mirror once more before she ran downstairs, stopping a few steps shy of reaching the bottom to control her erratic breathing. She slowly walked into the room with an air of casual nonchalance and her heart skipped a beat when she reached the kitchen door way and spotted him leaning against the island, spooning some fresh fruits into a bowl.

"Good morning," he said, looking up into her smiling face.

"Hi," she responded, her voice throaty as she tried to control the arousal that pooled at her core from the mere sight of him standing there in a white button down shirt and black pair of stone washed jeans.

"Did you sleep well?" he asked the glint in his eyes flirty as he looked at her.

"Great. The best I've slept in years," she answered truthfully, her heart beating wildly as his smile broadened at her response.

Derek felt his pants tighten around his bulge as his eyes devoured every inch of her as she leaned against the frame of the door with her arms crossed over her chest. Her shirt had ridden up over her midriff, leaving a good amount of her creamy flesh exposed to his hungry gaze.

"You look good," he complimented, his eyes making a slow appreciative sweep of her from bottom up.

"I _feel_ good," she whispered, almost to herself, but the look on Derek's face told her that he heard.

"You definitely do," he flirted shamelessly as he pushed himself away from the island and headed towards her.

Meredith's breathing was shallow as she eagerly waited for him. Her body tingled from the anticipation of feeling his strong arms hold her and press her close like he did the night before. Their eyes connected and held as their bodies were drawn to each like a magnetic force that compelled them together.

Meredith was almost faint with heady desire by the time he reached her and pulled her into a warm embrace. Her head immediately found the crook in his neck and she snuggled close as her arms encircled his waist. Together they stood in comfortable silence, relishing the feel of the closeness of their bodies, their hearts beating to a perfect rhythm.

Derek lowered his head just as she raised hers and their lips connected. The kiss was soft and tentative at first, neither one wanting to take any more than the other was willing to give. Their lips danced a lover's waltz, exploring and enticing the senses as it gradually deepened to a searing kiss that left them gasping for air. Meredith whimpered as she opened her mouth to allow his seeking tongue to enter and mate with hers. His skillful tongue did wonders to her already heightened senses as it licked and teased while his hands strayed down to her midriff to stroke her bare skin, leaving a trail of tingling sensation as he reached around back to pull her closer to his aroused body.

She released a muffled giggle as the bulge in his pants pressed up against her stomach. Knowing how easily she could arouse him gave her an overwhelming sense of satisfaction as she pressed herself even closer, her hands reaching around his back to cup his shoulder blades as their tongues melded into a long drugging kiss.

The peace and solitude was short-lived, however, when the front door burst wide open and the sound of animated chatter and sneakers rubbing against the hardwood floor interrupted them.

"Hey Shep! Where the hell are you, man?" yelled a voice that Derek immediately recognized as belonging to Alex.

"Shit!" he muttered under his breath as he reluctantly let go of Meredith and moved back a few steps, distancing himself from her. His bulge was still prominently pressed up against his jeans as embarrassment washed over his face while he tried to think of non sexual things to ease the tension in his pants.

"Derek! Get your lazy ass up. We're gonna be late and you know those assholes will give us shit if we miss the game again." Alex called out, the sound of his voice coming closer as he spoke.

"Whoa!" All three men exclaimed as they came stumbling into the kitchen, nearly knocking each other over when John, the leader of the pack, stopped suddenly.

Their eyes moved from Derek's flushed face to Meredith's equally flushed face, then back to Derek as they cocked their brows in query.

"Why are you here?" Derek barked in annoyance, his eyes immediately falling onto Mark to shoot daggers.

He knew who gave them access to his house and that person was looking at him with feigned innocence as he tried to hold a straight face, obviously noticing the bulge that had yet to go down.

"We…um, we…," Alex stuttered as his eyes moved from Derek to Meredith, back to Derek and going once more to Meredith before his eyes widened in recognition and he shrieked "You're Meredith Grey! THE Meredith Grey! Oh my god, I love you! But…you…. Wait. You're the one? You're the one who's living here with Derek?" he finished, dumbfounded, as he turned to Derek for answers.

Derek flinched at his friend's stupid lovestruck outburst but he remained silent, unmoved, as he continued to glare at Mark. Mark was going to pay severely for this, he promised himself that as he finally looked away to Meredith and gave her an apologetic look.

If Meredith hadn't been so amused by the scene taking place in front of her, she would have been annoyed, even angry at the rude interruption that broke her from the warm embrace of Derek's arms. Her eyes moved from Mark's smug grin, to the flabbergasted look on the dark hair man that made the outbursts and then onto the tall, rugged built blonde haired man that looked at her with interest.

"Hi," she said shyly as she extended her hand out.

"Hi," Alex replied as he stumbled forward, eagerly taking her slim hands into his.

"I'm Meredith and you are?"

"Alex. Alex Karev. I'm Derek's best friend," he replied, giving her his winning smile.

"Hmph!" Derek snorted from where he stood.

"I AM your best friend."

"I wouldn't be so quick to say that, given the way you barged into my house…uninvited."

"We were invited to come over."

"Oh really? By whom?" Derek queried but quickly answered his own question as he looked at Mark with disdain. "By that idiot over there?"

"Hey! I'm not an idiot and this is in no way my fault."

"How is it not?" Derek shot back.

"I tried to tell them that you may be, er…busy, but they didn't listen to me."

"I believe that about as much as I believe that you're not a manwhore."

"Now listen here," Mark began to argue.

"Guys!" John shouted which immediately got everyone's attention. He was usually the mild-mannered one in the group so when he yells, people tend to listen. "Now is not the time to be arguing over this. Clearly we have interrupted something we shouldn't have and we're sorry for it. In all fairness, Mark did try to stop us from coming over here, but you know how Alex gets when it comes to football and, well…" he looked apologetically at Meredith, then to Derek, "…we're sorry we barged in uninvited and we're leaving."

"What?!" Alex tried to protest. "We can't leave! Do you know WHO this is? Do you know when I'll ever have another chance to get this close to her again?"

"If I have anything to say about it, this is the first and will be the last," Derek hissed from where he stood, his anger seething at the way his friend was blatantly ogling Meredith.

Meredith watched the exchange between the men in continued amusement as they argued; forgetting that she was standing there, witnessing everything. She was used to having people look at her, some border lined on stalking, so Alex's outburst came as no surprise. What surprised her, however, was the way Derek was acting. He was jealous. He was jealous at the way his friend was looking at her and that made her feel…good. Happy. Elated.

* * *

"Man, I can't believe you had Meredith Grey living under your roof all this time and didn't tell me."

"Alex," John hissed, his voice low and warning when he saw the flash of anger in Derek's eyes.

"Meredith Grey!" Alex continued his rant, completely ignoring John's warning. "Meredith freaking Grey!"

"Not that it matters, but this is why I didn't tell you," replied Mark, his arms outstretched behind his head as he leaned back in his chair.

"You knew?" Alex shot back. "Did you know too?" He turned to look at John who shrugged his shoulders. "You're all assholes, you know that?"

"The only ass here is you." Derek finally spoke up.

Alex completely ignored Derek's biting remark and took a sip of his beer before he leaned in and said, "I heard she's single now. Yeah…broke things off with her fiancé or whatever. Do you think she'd go on a date with me?"

"What?!" Mark and John asked in unison while Derek remained silent.

"I mean it. I have a thing for her and now that she's single, maybe I could…you know?" Alex looked eagerly at the three men, waiting for some sort of approval. "Can you hook me up, man?" Alex turned to ask Derek.

"She just broke up with her fiancé!" John glared at Alex in disbelief. "How can you be so callous and ask such a thing like that?"

Mark looked nervously at Derek, his eyes focused on the way his fists were tightly clenched together.

"I'm gonna ask her out," Alex said with a determined gleam in his eyes.

"You can't."

"Why can't I? She's single. I'm single. Give me one good reason why I can't ask her out."

Mark looked at Derek before saying, "Tell him why he can't, Derek."


	30. Chapter 30

_**Three hours later…**_

Derek walked into the house and was immediately welcomed with a delicious aroma as it wafted past his nose to tease and whet his already growing appetite. He took off his jacket and threw it on the back of the couch as he made his way toward the kitchen.

He could hear her humming softly under her breath, completely oblivious to his presence as she stirred the contents of what he presumed was the source of the enticing aroma. She had changed her clothes from earlier and was now dressed in dark jeans paired with a white, capped sleeve top that sat just above her slim waistline. Her shirt rose and fell with every movement of her arms, allowing him a glimpse of her bare midriff as it peeked through the small gap. His hungry eyes immediately fell onto the creamy flesh as it devoured the sight before him. His throat became dry and his desire piqued as he continued to admire her beautiful, graceful body.

She looked happy and relaxed. For a brief moment, he was taken aback, slightly bemused that her mood mirrored that of his own. He was happy and he was relaxed and that was perfectly okay. When he bought the house a few years back, he had allowed himself a few fleeting moments of what it would be like to hear the pitter-patter of small feet running through the house. What it would feel like to come home to a family that he could call his own. And when he met Kendall he thought she would be the one to give him that family he craved, but it never seemed right even though he cared deeply for her. He was never able to picture her in that role of wife and mother, but now…seeing Meredith standing there made everything fall into place. It made sense. The thought of them growing old together were both exciting and bewildering to him as the images flashed across his eyes. This was it. She's the one. He's done searching. His only hope now is that she feels the same way.

He took advantage of being there unnoticed as he watched her, admiring the way the jeans hugged her pert bottom. His eyes trailed further still down her long legs and his body stirred to life as he remembered how it felt to have those luscious legs wrapped around his waist as she writhed and moved her body along with his in perfect unison to their lovemaking.

He shifted uncomfortably when the bulge straining against his pants made it difficult to stand there and do nothing when every cell in his body screamed for him to lift her into his arms and ravage her senseless.

He mindlessly rubbed his hands together and winced when a jolt of pain shot through his fingers, past his raw knuckles to his forearm.

_**::flashback::**_

_"I'm gonna ask her out," Alex said with a determined gleam in his eyes. _

"You can't."

"Why can't I? She's single. I'm single. Give me one good reason why I can't ask her out."

Mark looked at Derek before answering, "Tell him why he can't, Derek."

"Derek?"

All three men turned to him expectantly. He opened his mouth to speak. To give them the answer they were looking for, but what would he say? How could he give them the answer when he didn't know himself? What is Meredith to him? Is she his lover? Is she his girlfriend? What?

"This is ridiculous!" Alex huffed as he sat back in his chair, arms crossed. "None of you have the balls to ask her out and you're jealous that I do. She's hot and I'm gonna ask her for a date."

"You're not her type. Trust me, man. She's not going to go for it," Mark warned when Derek failed to speak up like he hoped he would.

"What do you mean I'm not her type? I'm rich, single, sinfully handsome and fucking amazing between the sheets."

The last remark caught Derek's attention and his brows furrowed together in annoyance, but his mind could not form a coherent thought to refute Alex's claims.

"Won't comment on the sex thing," replied Mark drily, "but I know her and you're not her type."

"And what exactly IS her type?" Alex asked, his voice becoming more agitated by the minute.

"She goes for dark, brooding, arrogant, unappreciative neuro—er, I mean, men who are too stubborn to admit their feelings, and never once said thank you to their best friend who gave up everything and moved half—"

"You didn't have to come with me and I have no problems admitting my feelings!" Derek's outburst surprised Alex and John as their heads swung in his direction to see him seething with anger while Mark sat back in his chair with a smug, satisfied look on his face.

"What the hell is going on?" Alex demanded while Mark and Derek looked at each other challengingly.

"I think you need to let go of whatever hopes you have of asking her out," John chimed in. "Something tells me that Ms. Grey is very much attached to someone and it appears that won't be changing anytime soon."

"What? I—oh shit!" Alex said when the light finally came on in his head. 

_**::end flashback::**_

"How long have you been watching me?" Meredith's voice broke through his thoughts and he snapped out of it to see her looking at him, her brows raised.

"What?"

"Are you stalking me now?"

"I'm not stalking you. I live here, remember? And besides, I haven't been here that long and I wasn't watching you or anything. I was just…standing here," he finished, sounding pathetic.

"I was only kidding with you."

"Oh," he replied, lifting his hand to brush a stray curl from his forehead.

The gasp that left Meredith's lips echoed in the small room when her eyes fell onto his red, swollen knuckles.

"What happened to your hand?"

"It's nothing," he casually dismissed, moving his hand around his back to try to hide it.

"It doesn't look like nothing. Let me see," she demanded before reaching around his back to grab his hand. He winced in pain when her fingers grazed the open wound which earned him a reproving look from her. "It's nothing, huh?"

"It's just a small scratch. It'll be gone by tomorrow." He tried to pull his hand away, but the glare she shot him stopped his movements. He couldn't help but smile at the gentle way in which she carefully examined his hands.

"This is not a small scratch, now tell me what happened."

"It's nothing," he repeated.

"Don't lie to me. Not when I have your very swollen, injured hand in mine."

"You wouldn't," he said, eyeing her suspiciously as he awaited her next move.

"I wouldn't?" she challenged, squeezing his hand lightly but with enough force to make him flinch.

"Okay! I slipped and my hand accidentally fell on Alex's face."

"You what?!!!" she shrieked, letting go of his hand and turning her head up to glare at him. "You hit him?"

"What?" he asked, feigning innocence. "I didn't like the way he acted around you earlier."

"So you hit him?" she questioned, her voice exasperated as she ran her fingers through her hair. "Oh my god, you hit your friend?"

"Mer—."

"Derek, you can't hit every guy that hits on me. Alex is your friend. How could you?"

"Mer—"

"I mean, you HAVE to know that I would never go out with him, right? I love YOU, you silly fool! Why did you—"

"What did you just say?" Derek asked, cutting her off in mid-sentence. He had been joking about hitting Alex, even though he was tempted to, and was going to tell her it was a joke when she said she loved him and completely threw him off guard.

"I said I would never go out with him."

"No, after that. What did you say after that?"

"What did I say?" she feigned confusion, knowing full well what he meant. She was angry with him for hitting his friend and let slip the fact that she loved him. She swore she wasn't going to say anything until she found out how he felt about her and the recent change of events, but she ranted and raved and…rather stupidly admitted to loving him, which now left her completely exposed and at his mercy.

"You said that you love me."

"I did?"

"Do you?"

"Do I?" she asked, stalling.

"Yes! Do you love me like I love you?" he blurted out, his frustration getting the better of him.

"Wait. What? You love me?"

"I asked you first."

"I asked YOU first."

"You did not!"

"I did too!"

"Did not!"

"Well I said I loved you first, so there!" she huffed, glaring at him before her eyes softened to his smiling face.

"I love you too."


	31. Chapter 31

**Thank you for reading and for commenting.**

* * *

Meredith was busy drying her freshly washed hair when she heard her cell phone ring

Meredith was busy drying her freshly washed hair when she heard her cell phone ring. She dropped the towel onto the countertop and rushed to pick it up, thinking it must be Derek calling her.

"Hello," she all but sang into the phone.

"You sound awfully happy and cheery today," came Cristina's dry remark.

Meredith's face fell in disappointment and she was glad that Cristina wasn't there to see it or she'd never hear the end of it.

"Do I?" she asked innocently.

"Yes, you do, so what gives?"

"Nothing," she lied.

She felt bad for lying, but she wasn't ready to tell Cristina - or anyone else for that matter - about her rekindled thing with Derek. Everything was still so new and she didn't want to jinx it by talking to other people about it before she and Derek had a chance to really talk. They had admitted to loving each other and that was a huge step forward, but the road ahead was still unclear.

"Is Derek there with you?" asked Cristina, her voice suspicious.

"He's at the hospital," she answered, her mind straying to think of him and his meeting with Richard.

"He's not there and you're happy. Is the living arrangement not working out for you?"

"It's working out…fine," she finished weakly, not wanting to say too much or give anything away.

"Fine?"

"Yeah, fine."

"When you say fine, it usually means that things aren't fine."

"But we're really fine," she insisted. More than fine, she thought wickedly to herself as she remembered the passion they shared only a few hours before.

"I still don't buy it, but I didn't call to talk about Derek or how you are or aren't fine. I'm going to have Nat send you all the stuff you need for your trip."

"Where am I going?" she asked, confused.

"New York."

"Okay… Why am I going to New York?"

"What do you mean, why are you going to New York? The Oscars, remember?" Cristina shouted into the phone.

"Shit. That's right." Meredith muttered as she remembered receiving the invitation from Monique Lhullier to view her private collection of dresses for the Oscars. "When do I leave?"

"Wednesday morning."

"But that's in two days! One and a half—even, because half the day is already gone!"

"Why are you freaking out? I would think you would want a break from Derek and the leggy blonde."

"He's not—!...She's not—!...They're…ugh!"

"Breathe, Mer! Why are you freaking out? It's only going to be for a few days and you've already turned Cavalli, Mischka, and Wang away. If you don't go, you won't have anything to wear. You're a presenter and a nominee, Mer. You can't miss this one."

"I know," Meredith sighed, defeated.

"I chartered a private jet, leaving 11am at JFK. Don't be late."

Meredith sat on the edge of the bed, long after she hung up the phone with Cristina, wondering how she was going to tell Derek she had to leave. They had just gotten back together and now she had to leave. She wasn't ready to leave. Not yet. Not ever. Being held in his arms and falling asleep to the soft rhythm of his beating heart gave her a sense of peace she hadn't felt in years. Eight, to be exact.

She regretted having to tell him and a part of her was tempted to cancel, but how would that reflect on her? She was obligated and while she never cared for all the Hollywood hoopla, a commitment was still a commitment.

She wasn't sure how Derek would react to the news, but if he felt as strongly about the connection as she did, he would have just as hard a time. Wouldn't he? She didn't have time to mull over that thought as she heard the front door open and close, signaling Derek's arrival. While she was excited that he was home, the fact that he was here as opposed to being at the hospital could only mean that the meeting didn't go well.

"How did it go?" Meredith asked as she descended the steps in time to see Derek toss his jacket onto the banister.

"Well…," he sighed as he dragged his feet into the living room and dropped exhaustedly onto the couch. "He was upset—no, he was angry…very angry. I explained. He yelled. I showed him and he yelled even more."

"Do you want me to call him?" she offered, even though she had no idea what she would say. "Maybe I can, you know…use my goddaughter influence or something."

She walked to the couch and sat down next to him, her elbow on the back of the couch as she laid her face onto her palm and looked at him. He looked tired. Seeing him like this made it harder for her to tell him about New York.

Derek turned to face her, his eyes smiling as he pulled her hand into his. "Thanks, but I don't think it will help. He…"

"He what?" she asked, moving in closer as his voice trailed to barely a whisper.

"He—oh, it's bad Mer! He was so pissed and…I don't think I've ever seen him raise his voice in all the years I've worked for him and today, he scared half the staff with his yelling and cursing."

"He cursed?" she asked, thinking how that seemed so out of character for Richard.

"Used every word in the book and made up some new ones," Derek replied, looking gravely at her. "But I guess that won't matter now, seeing as I no longer work for him."

"You WHAT?" Meredith yelled, leaping off the chair. "He fired you? He…he…he can't do that. It's just a small injury. Your hand will heal. It WILL heal, right? You'll be able to operate again and…I'll help you get better. I don't know how, but I will."

"Meredith."

"We can do therapy or something. ANYTHING! Oh my god...I can't go now. I can't leave you…you need me here. I have to call Cristina back and tell her I can't go."

Meredith was so busy rambling and freaking out that she didn't notice the mischievous smile on Derek's face at first. His smile turned into full blown laughter as she began to pace back and forth, mumbling to herself and biting on her lip as she thought deep and hard.

"Why are you laughing?" She broke from her thoughts to glare at him. "This isn't funny, Derek."

"Actually, it kind of is," replied Derek, his laughter dying down to a light chuckle.

"You ass!" She yelled before lunging onto the couch, her small ineffectual fists pounding on his chest. "That wasn't funny! You scared the hell out of me."

"Mer—" Derek grabbed her wrists in his and flipped their bodies around so that they were outstretched on the couch, her body squirming underneath his.

"You're aroused?" She shrieked when she felt his hardened penis pressed up against her stomach. "I'm yelling and pissed and you're…aroused?! Let me go!"

"Never."

"Let me go, I mean it." She struggled to free her arms from underneath him, but to no avail.

"Not until you stop moving and tell me what you were talking about earlier. Where are you going?"

"Let me up and I might consider telling you."

Derek eyed her suspiciously, but he gave in and got off her, but not before he grabbed her hand and held on tightly, keeping her close to him. "So tell me."

"You first and before you lie to me…again, remember that I'm holding your injured hand in mine."

"Sneaky little devil," Derek smirked before he cleared his throat and began explaining. "Like I said, I told him about my injury and he didn't react well. I think he popped a vein when I showed him my hand. I've never heard so many colorful words come out of his mouth before."

Meredith listened intently as Derek continued. "After about a half hour of him reading me the riot act, he gave me the next couple of days off, saying I was of no use to him with an injured hand."

"That's it?"

"That's it." He grinned sheepishly. "Now tell me where you're going?"

"I have to go to New York for a couple of days," she said, watching his reaction carefully. "And…I leave on Wednesday morning."

Derek's face fell. "That's in less than two days."

"I know."

They had just gotten back together after eight long years and now she had to leave? He opened his mouth to speak, but what would he say? He can't ask her to stay even though deep down that was what he really wanted. When Richard gave him time off, all he could think about on the drive home was how he would use that time to spend with Meredith…to get to know her and reconnect with her again. Now, it seems, that was no longer an option.

"Why don't you come with me?" Meredith blurted out before she had time to think it through. She saw his face fall when she announced that she was leaving, but asking him to go with her was something she wasn't sure he was prepared to do.

"You want me to come with you?" He asked, uncertain that he heard her correctly.

"Do you…want to come with me?"

"Did you ask me because you really want me to or because you felt you needed to?"

"Would it have mattered either way?"

"Will you answer my question?"

"Will you answer mine?"

"My answer to your question depends heavily on your answer, so what is it, Mer? Did you ask me because you really want me there or because you felt obligated?"

"Derek, I love you with all my heart, so me asking you to come has nothing to do with obligation and everything to do with me wanting you by my side."

Silence stretched as they looked at each other, the love they felt, stronger than ever at that moment as a smile tugged on their lips.

"I guess we're going to New York" Derek said, unable to keep his smile from spreading as he saw the look of happiness flash across her green eyes.

"I guess we are." Meredith replied happily as she laid her head onto his shoulder and let out a deep, contented sigh. She couldn't be any happier than she did at that moment. She and Derek are together again and nothing was going to break them apart.

* * *

"You're giggling. Why are you giggling?" Derek asked as they boarded the private jet and got settled into the luxurious leather seats, facing each other.

"I don't think I've ever seen George blush so much." Meredith answered, casting a glance over at the bar where George, their attendant, was busy preparing drinks for their flight. "I've flown many flights all across the country with George and never once have I seen him so obviously smitten with anyone I've taken along before."

Derek looked nervously at George, whose cheeks turned a deep crimson color and quickly turned away when he noticed Derek staring. "Is he..?"

"Yep." Meredith replied with a big smile that reached her bright eyes.

"He doesn't think that I'm…?"

"Are you?" She teased. "If you are, you should tell me now before I commit myself completely to you."

Her last words hung in the heavy air as their eyes connected and held.

"Commit yourself to me completely?" Derek asked, the corners of his lips curling into a smile. "I like how that sounds."

"I haven't yet. I mean, if you're playing for the other team, I need to know now." She said playfully.

"After last night, I expect you would know exactly what team I play for." He said as he got up from his seat to move to the one next to hers and leaned in to nibble on her neck.

"Derek!" She shrieked when he tried to sneak his hand underneath her shirt. "People are looking."

"So? Let them look." He said as he slipped his hand completely inside and up to tease her midriff.

"You're making George jealous!"

"Oh that's it, you're gonna get it now." Derek said before he pulled her onto his lap and began ticking her until she begged for him to stop.

* * *

"George hates me now because of you." Meredith sulked as they entered the penthouse suite at The Waldorf.

"He doesn't hate you."

"Yes he does. He didn't even look me in the eye when I said goodbye."

"That's because he was busy looking at me." Derek said, smirking as he walked up behind her to wrap his arms around her slim waist.

Together they stood in comfortable silence as they looked out into the city that had brought them so much happiness and pain. Derek didn't think he would ever return to New York again and to be here with Meredith in his arms, made all the tumultuous years spent suffering seem trivial. He was happy again and to be able to share that happiness with his one true love gave his life meaning.

* * *

Off in the distance stood a solitary figure on the rooftop of the building across from the luxurious hotel. With a telephoto lens camera in one hand and the other busy clicking away, the unsuspecting couple didn't know that their world would be turned upside down.


	32. Chapter 32

"I'm coming!" Meredith yelled as she descended the steps and ran to the door where she opened it to reveal an angry looking Cristina standing there with her sunglasses perched on the bridge of her nose and an armful of magazines. "I didn't know you were coming to visit."

"I wasn't planning to until this landed on my desk this morning." Cristina deadpanned as she thrust the stack of magazines into Meredith's arms and brushed past her to walk inside.

"What's this?" Meredith asked as she turned to watch Cristina toss her bags onto the floor and retreat into the family room.

"I need a drink and I think you'll want one too after you see what's been splashed all over the cover of US, In Touch, OK!, Entertainment Weekly, Scoop, and hundreds more like that." Cristina muttered hoarsely. "I knew I shouldn't have gone, but he asked and the sex was good and now… Where's the bar?"

"You're not making any sense." Instead of looking at the stack in her hand, Meredith followed after her friend, firing a series of questions her way. "Where did you go? With whom did you go with? What this about sex? And why are you here? Derek and I aren't scheduled to fly to L.A for a few more weeks—"

"Is Derek here?" Cristina interrupted her abrasively while she threw opened all the cabinet doors in search of alcohol. "Where do you keep the drink around here?"

"No, Derek's not here and I'm not going to give you anything until you tell me what the hell you're so upset about."

In less than three short strides, Cristina came to stand in front of Meredith and pulled a magazine from the top of the stack in Meredith's arms and held it up to her face. The rosy hue that had tinged her cheeks from the bath she had just gotten out of, faded into a pale color when her eyes scanned the words that flashed across the words that headlined the cover.

_Meredith Grey, America's Sweetheart, had an abortion at the age of eighteen!_

"Wha—? How—?" Meredith could feel the air leave her lungs as she flipped through the magazines.

_Meredith Grey – A baby killer?_

Pregnant at eighteen and abandoned by a power-hungry mother!

_The price of fame too sweet for America's Sweetheart to resist._

_Is Meredith Grey the role model you want for your kids?_

"Now do you want that drink?"

"How did they find out, Cristina? How—Oh my god!" The remaining magazines slipped from her arms into a heap on the floor as she turned and quickly ran up the steps and into her room.

"Where are you going?"

Cristina chased after her and stopped in her tracks at the entrance to the bedroom when she saw Meredith sitting on the floor with the lid to the blue box open and all its contents – a blue bib, onesie, a knitted pair of socks, baby blanket – spilled out onto the side.

"It's not here." Her small cry was barely audible, even in the silent room.

"What's not there?"

"My journal."

* * *

"What are you doing? Leaving?"

"What does it look like I'm doing?" Derek released an exasperated sigh as he adjusted the collar of his shirt before wrapping the scarf around his neck. "Yes, I'm leaving and stop coming up behind me like that."

"Where are you going?"

"Home…"

"To see Meredith?"

"Yes, to see Meredith."

"Why?"

"What do you mean "why"?"

"Are you upset? You look upset."

"No, I'm not upset and stop looking at me like that."

"Why are you going to see her and what have you heard?"

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"It's a simple question, Derek."

"I'm going home and seeing as how we live together, I expect I will see Meredith when I get there. Are you happy now?"

"So you're not going home to _see_ her, see her, but because you're—"

"Yes, Mark! Now what the hell has gotten into you?" Derek yelled.

"I thought you said you weren't upset."

"I wasn't until I ran into you, now what's going on?"

Silence filled the air while Derek waited and Mark struggled to think of what to say next.

"The editor friend of mine over at People sent me their latest, hot off the press, yet to be released issue, and the cover is of Mer—" Mark stopped speaking when they rounded the corner to the lobby of the hospital and both their heads turned in the direction of the front entrance where a big crowd was causing quite the commotion.

"Hmm…they must've gotten word that someone famous just checked in." Derek commented blandly, noting the media with their cameras and vans camped outside. Despite the frenzy, Derek was used to this kind of chaos with Seattle Grace being as reputable as it is and have been known to attract a lot of big names in Hollywood when they're seeking "help", which most of the time involved Mark. "Don't you have a facelift you need to get to?"

"No, I don't and I don't think you should go out there."

"Why not?" Derek shot back, completely ignoring Mark's attempt to stop him before he stepped foot outside.

"There he is!" Someone yelled as soon as Derek and Mark walked through the doors, past the security personnel that had been working hard to keep the frenzy at bay.

"Dr. Shepherd! Over here, please!"

"Dr. Shepherd, may we have a word with you?"

"Dr. Shepherd! Dr. Shepherd! Do you have anything to say about the abortion? What are you going to do now that you know?"

"What's the future for you and Meredith Grey?"

The sounds of cameras clicking and the flashing fluorescent lights blinded Derek and he was momentarily lost in the crowd until he felt a pair of strong arms grab him from behind and pulled him back inside the hospital doors where it closed firmly shut and he was quickly shuffled inside the nearest conference room.

* * *

"What the hell is going on?" John demanded of the both of them as he turned to look from Derek to Mark, then back to Derek. "I get a call from my security detail saying that you two were being mauled by the mob outside and--what the hell were you doing out there in the first place? You know you're supposed to use the private exit when this type of thing happens with the celebrities."

"They didn't come for them." Derek mumbled, his mind still struggling to grapple with what he'd heard.

"What?" John turned to look into Derek's eyes, which had gone from a cerulean blue to one devoid of emotion.

"They came for me."

"Why would they come for you?"

"I don't—"

"Because of this." Mark finally spoke up, reaching into his pocket to pull out a magazine and held the cover up for both men to see.

_**Meredith Grey had an abortion at age 18.**__ We have the exclusive on the identity of the father._

"What the hell is this crap?" John demanded, wrenching the magazine from Mark's hands and frantically flipping through to find the offending page.

"You don't need to look for it." Derek croaked, his voice barely recognizable.

"Derek, I wanted to tell you earlier, but—"

"I need to be alone."

John and Mark shot worried looks at each other, then to Derek, but before they could speak, he had opened the door and disappeared around the corner.


	33. Chapter 33

Seven days. Meredith hadn't seen nor spoken to Derek in seven days. He refused to take her calls, ignored her pleas to let her come see him and virtually shut everyone out of his life. Everyone, that is, except for Mark. Meredith had never felt so disconnected from him and there was nothing she could do about it. Mark had been kind in giving her updates, but it wasn't enough. She missed seeing him. Missed hearing his voice. She missed everything about him and just when they had found each other after all those painful years of separation, she was going to lose him all over again.

* * *

"She misses you."

"I don't want to talk about it."

"It's been a week. Don't you think you should talk to her or at least let her explain?"

"What's there to explain? She was pregnant with my baby and instead of telling me about it, she went and aborted it. She got rid of my baby, Mark. _My_ baby and didn't even have the guts to tell me!"

"Look, I'm not trying to make excuses for what she did, but she was young. Scared. And living in a foreign country, for Christ's sake."

"She should've called me. I would've been there for her."

"She left to protect you and your career. Do you think she would've wanted to ruin that by telling you she was pregnant? Do you think she would've wanted you to give up everything you had worked so hard for to take care of a baby?"

"I could've made it work! _We_ could've made it work."

"Give her a chance to explain, Derek. Maybe it didn't happen the way the media is reporting—."

"She aborted it!" Derek's booming voice startled Mark into silence. "She took methotrexate and she killed it! It was all there in the damn interview with the nurse that had given it to her."

"I—"

"Leave me alone. I want to be alone, so please…just leave me alone."

_**

* * *

**_

Another week later…

"What are you doing here?"

"I came to see how you were doing."

"I'm fine."

"You don't look fine."

"Well, I am." Derek shot back, his voice clipped. "Look, Richard. I'm flattered that you came here to check on me, but I'm fine. As a matter of fact, I'm coming back to work first thing tomorrow."

"Over my dead body, you will."

"I said I was fine."

"And I say you're lying. Look, I know you're hurting. You're angry and you don't know who to take it out on because as much as you think you hate Meredith, you know deep down that you don't."

Derek's eyes became cold at the mention of Meredith's name. "Thanks for the little pep talk, but I'm fine and I _will_ return to work tomorrow."

"No, you won't and if you dare step foot inside my hospital, I'll have you thrown out." Richard shot back, his voice stern. "Here."

Derek looked up to see Richard extending a yellow envelope out to him. "What's this?"

"It's something you should read."

"I don't need anymore surprises." Derek deadpanned, eyeing the envelope distastefully.

"It's Meredith's medical records."

Derek looked at the envelope with bitter disdain, then up to Richard. "I have no use for that. I already know what she did."

"Do you?"

"Do _you_?" Derek shot back angrily.

"I know she lost a baby."

"Not lost, but killed."

"You're wrong and if you would read her records you will know the truth."

"No. I don't need to see in black and white that she aborted my child."

"She didn't have an abortion."

"They said she took methotrexate. You and I know what that's used for."

"It can also be used to terminate a pregnancy that wasn't viable to begin with. The pregnancy was tubal. It had no chance of survival. According to my friend, who was her doctor when she first arrived, Meredith was bleeding heavily, slipping in and out of consciousness, and in so much pain, they were afraid she was going to die just from the amount of blood she had lost."

"But—"

"I went through a lot of trouble to call in a favor to the Chief of Surgery at the hospital in France. Read the damn report, Derek. Read it and you'll know that her mother had only agreed to administer the drug because Meredith had lost so much blood, her chances of survival were slim if they had operated to remove the fetus."

"The nurse—"

"Lied…or rather, didn't tell the whole truth just to sell a story. If you're not willing to let Meredith explain, then let the report explain it to you."

Without another word, Richard dropped the envelope onto the table and walked out, leaving Derek to stare after him before his eyes moved to the envelope once more.


	34. Chapter 34

**Thank you for reading and for the great reviews. Your feedback means a lot to me so, thank you again.**

**To Combo-Shlack** ... When I started this fic, the only thing I could picture clearly in my head was Meredith and Derek's reunion scene in the rain (taken from The Notebook...one of my favorite movies). Everything else was unplanned and sort of came to me as I wrote. I'm afraid I don't know what scene you were referring to that seemed similar to The English Patient (another good movie), but I'm delighted that you found some similarities there.

To those reading this and are interested in my other works of fanfiction, please check out my newest fic called **When Enemies Collide**. It's MerDer and rated M, so I'm not sure if everyone will be interested, but if you are, please check it out and tell me what you think.

Sorry for the shameless plug and now onto the next update. LOL

Much love,

Suzie

* * *

**_Please forgive me._**

Those three little words still cut like a knife into Derek's heart and as the note slipped from his numb fingers into the darkness, all the pent up emotions came crashing down and he let out an anguished cry that sliced into the silence of the empty room.

He was stupid to think she would be there after the way he had treated her, but his heart remained hopeful when he finally returned home, only to find the house empty. As his lifeless form roamed through the halls in search of any signs of her, a sinking feeling settled in the pit of his stomach when he found her room devoid of all her belongings, except for a single note left on the nightstand.

He didn't know how long he cried that night, only that he woke the next day, curled up in a ball with the note gripped tightly to his chest. She was gone. Gone from his life forever and it was all because of his stupid pride.

* * *

"Gah!" Derek groaned when the intense bright sunlight filtered in through the dark curtains of his bedroom windows.

"Get up." Mark demanded, walking to the bed to wrench the heavy blankets off Derek's body.

"Dammit, Mark. Get out."

"No."

"I said get out!" Derek yelled vehemently, his voice scratchy from the dryness in his parched throat.

"I'm not letting you do this again." Mark said resolutely, his stance firm while he stood with his arms crossed at the edge of the bed.

"I'm sleeping."

"You're sulking…and you're pathetic." Mark corrected and didn't budge when Derek tried to make a grab for his legs. "I stood aside once, but I swear Derek, if you don't get your stinky ass out of that bed, I'm gonna kick you."

Derek grunted his discontent and buried his head deeper under his pillow.

"What the fuck—OW!" The scowl and deathly Derek shot Mark from the cold, hardwood floor would've made anyone cower in fear, but it was lost on Mark as he stood there grinning.

"I did warn you."

"You're an ass."

"That's the pot calling the kettle black."

""What are you doing here?"

"I'm here to save you."

"I don't need saving."

"Like hell you don't."

"What's this?" Derek asked, perplexed when the piece of paper Mark threw came to land next to him on the floor.

"Her address in L.A."

"How did you—? I thought Cristina—"

"Don't ask questions. Just get up, shower, and go get our girl back."

"She must hate me." Derek mumbled as he ran a shaken hand through his unkempt hair.

"We all do." Mark chided. "I went to a lot of trouble getting that. Don't disappoint me."

* * *

"I can have Eddie turn the car around if you don't want to do this." Cristina offered as their limo inched its way to the designated drop-off area.

Meredith took a much needed deep breath and replied. "No, I _need_ to do this."

"No you don't. You don't have anything to prove."

"Not to them, but I need to prove to myself that I can handle this. I can't let them win…I can't let _him_ win and if I don't show up, they do."

"Fuck Peter!" Disgust was written all over Cristina's face. "He's going to pay severely for stealing your journal and for telling a bunch of lies to the press."

"How…? What did you do?" Meredith asked. She could tell that something was brewing inside Cristina's head and knowing her friend the way she did, she couldn't help but feel sorry for Peter and whomever else that had ignited the blazing firestorm in Cristina's eyes.

"As we speak, he's being served with a warrant for breaking and entering. The private investigators I hired were very thorough, not that the dumbass was smart enough to cover his tracks in the first place. As soon as the police are done with him, my attorneys will be there to slap him with one of _many_ lawsuits I've filed on your behalf. Libel, slander, emotional distress…you name it, I've got it covered. He's sorely mistaken if he thinks he'll get away with it, and those rag magazines as well as the money hungry nurse will rue the day as well. By tomorrow, a retraction will be printed in every magazine that dared publish that kind of trash and marred your name."

"Thanks for doing this."

"You're my person. Fuck with my person and you have my wrath to deal with."

The smile Meredith cast Cristina didn't quite reach her eyes. It had been three weeks since she left Seattle and while Cristina and the girls made every attempt to cheer her up, nothing they did could fill the big, empty void in her heart; a void that could only be filled by the one person who also happened to hate her with the intensity of a thousand burning suns.

Leaving Seattle and Derek behind brought back all the painful memories of the past. She didn't want to leave, but she had commitments to fill and with him refusing to speak to her, she had no choice. Being in his house reminded her of what she could've had and knowing she'd lost it all became too unbearable and made the act of breathing too difficult a feat to muster.

"We're here. Are you sure you want to do this?"

Cristina's question broke into her thoughts and she turned to give a slight reassuring nod before the door opened and they were bombarded with a thousand flashing lights.


	35. Chapter 35

Meredith was exhausted. After declining the one of many offers to go to the after-party, she collapsed onto the backseat of the limo and she closed her tired eyes, letting the darkness engulf her.

"You did good."

Meredith gave a weak smile in the form of an acknowledgement. As expected, the reactions in the crowd were mixed. People cheered, people hissed and the most outspoken of them all called names…. "Baby killer", "Immoral slut", "Fame whore"…. Meredith had heard it all and this time was no different. She had become immune to the barrage of names being thrown her way ever since the story broke.

Despite the malicious accusations, she wasn't about to back down. She knew that if she let it get to her, she would run the risk of falling into a depression and she couldn't afford it. Not now when she had other things to think about besides just herself.

"I'm tired." Meredith announced as they watched the flashing lights from the large crowd milling outside the Kodak Theater fade into nothingness as Eddie maneuvered the limo into the small private streets leading up into the Hollywood Hills.

"I know."

"I miss him." Her voice faltered and cracked at the admission of a truth she's kept bottled up inside since leaving Seattle.

"I know."

The silence between them stretched for ages, neither one saying anything, despite the heavy thoughts that filled their heads. Meredith knew that Cristina wanted to say things, but the pained look on her face stopped her from saying what she wanted and so she conceded to just remaining silent, which was a difficult feat in and of itself.

"It gets better, you know."

"What does?"

"The pain. It gets better."

"Not this time, Cristina. I don't think I'll ever heal from this."

"You and I…we're the same. We're survivors and no matter how long, we'll be okay. We're survivors."

Despite the strong conviction in Cristina's voice, Meredith didn't feel like a survivor. She felt dead inside. Empty. A hallowed shell of a person moving amongst the living, but not living. This has been her feeling of late and with each day that passed, she felt more disconnected from Derek and everything around her.

After bidding Cristina goodbye, she let her weary legs carry her up to her home, each step cementing the finality of the end of her relationship with Derek. She reached the landing on her porch and remained there long after Eddie had driven off. The key to the house was poised and ready to be inserted into the lock, but it never went beyond that.

There was a strange shift in the air and she wasn't sure what to make of it, but something was definitely amiss. The air was cool and crisp around her, but oddly enough, she felt warm – inside and out. Her body hummed and tingled to an all too familiar sensation as it washed over her. The moment was fleeting, but it was there, and while it had been weeks since she had felt it, deep down she knew there was only one person who could evoke that kind of feeling.

_Derek._

Her heart leapt and she fumbled with the key as she worked frantically to open the door. In the still of the night, the sound of the door crashing against the wall sounded twice as loud as it reverberated through the dimly lit hall. Her eyes did a quick sweep of the surrounding area and as the realization that she had imagined it sunk in; she felt her heart plummet into her stomach and made a mad dash for the bathroom where she emptied all the contents in her stomach.

After splashing cold water onto her face, she quickly toweled off and went to move when she caught sight of her reflection in the mirror. She looked pale. Lifeless. Her eyes were devoid of its usual vibrant colors, leaving nothing behind but remnants of dark circles around her tired eyes. She hadn't been eating well; her appetite had all but disappeared as the days spent away from Derek dragged into weeks.

It took an extreme amount of effort, but she managed to drag her weary self up the stairs, not bothering to turn on the light as she went, until she reached the outside of her bedroom. Suddenly, the feeling she felt earlier struck her once more and this time it lingered, becoming more pronounced with each step she took inside. Refusing to get her hopes up, only to be disappointed like she had been earlier, she brushed the feeling aside and walked into the adjoining master bathroom where she tore her evening gown off and donned a silk robe.

As she made her way back into her bedroom, something on her nightstand caught her attention and without much thought she reached for it, only to have it slip from her nerveless fingers a few seconds later.

_..._

_**P**__**lease forgive me.**_


	36. Chapter 36

Meredith opened her mouth to say something, _anything_ that would convince her that this was real and not some dream she had conjured up because she had missed him so. Her throat felt dry, her mind grappling with having him so close, yet feeling so distant from him at the same time. The few times she tried to speak, the words failed and died on her lips, leaving nothing but a small whimper in its wake.

The joyous relief she had expected to feel at seeing him again, didn't come. Instead, she found it difficult to breathe and the unbearable jolts of pain in her stomach forced her to look away momentarily. All the tears, the loss, and the lies and betrayal coupled with the countless sleepless nights and nightmares she had suffered came rushing back in a firestorm of conflicting emotions that wracked her body.

She tried to speak once more, but the words failed her again and no sound came as she continued to stand in silence. Her eyes fell to the note that lay on the floor with the three words that she herself had written all those weeks ago: _**Please forgive me.**_

"Meredith. Please say something." Derek moved away from the shadows and into the room where a streak of light from the moon above fell onto his silhouetted form.

The shudder Meredith felt coursing up her spine was involuntary as her eyes drank him in. The vice that had taken hold of heart ever since the day she left Seattle tightened with each passing second that she surveyed his unkempt state. He looked tired, worn, depleted of life, and it completely mirrored what she felt.

"Meredith."

Her name on his lips was just above a whisper, but the silence was slowly killing him inside. He had expected her to be angry, to yell, to berate him for his stupidity at choosing to believe the lies instead of her, but the fact that she didn't appear to be any of them terrified him.

"I'm sorry." He husked. All the pent up emotion made his voice barely recognizable, even to himself, but he pushed on. "I'm a few weeks too late in saying that, but I want you to know how sorry I am. I made a mistake. A big, stupid mistake that I wish I could take back. I would give _anything_ to take it all back."

Silence.

"You're angry with me. I don't blame you. I wouldn't blame you if you never wanted to speak to me again, but I just had to tell you face to face that I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you the way I did, and I….I failed you again."

_He failed me?_

Never in all the eight years apart had the thought ever crossed her mind that he had failed her. If anything, she was the one who failed them when she chose to leave without a word. She was the one who let her mother brow-beat her into thinking the worst of Derek and his intentions when deep down in her heart she knew he would never hurt her. She was the one who chose to keep the baby a secret. She was the one who…

"You didn't fail me."

Derek was certain the sigh of relief he expelled from deep within his chest could be heard all the way back in Seattle. Meredith's reaction to seeing him, or rather, her lack of a reaction had worried him immensely.

"Yes, I did. I chose to believe a complete stranger instead of listening to my heart. I failed you, Meredith. Failed _us_. After everything we'd been through, I should've had more faith when we needed it most and I—"

"Derek, please…" The tears that pooled around the deep cerulean blue of his beautiful eyes tore at Meredith's heart. To see him physically shake from the gut-wrenching anguish broke what was left of her and she rushed to him.

"I love you so much. I know I don't deserve your forgiveness, but—oh god, when I came home and found you gone, I think I just about died. All the painful memories of the past came back to haunt me. I couldn't sleep, couldn't eat, couldn't…breathe. My home no longer felt like a home without you in it."

His physical weight, coupled with the weight of their heavy burden caused them to collapse onto each other with anguished relief as they slid down onto the floor in a heap. With her arms securely wrapped around his body and his hands gently cupping her face, they sat facing one another with their noses and foreheads touching.

"Please don't leave me again. I'll devote the rest of my life to making this up to you, but please…just don't leave."

"Derek—"

"Losing you once almost killed me. I can't lose you again. I just can't. If you need space, I'll give—"

"Derek!" Meredith's firm voice cut into the room and stunned him into silence. Releasing her arms from around his waist, she moved them up to cup his face in her own hands, her eyes boring deeply into his wet ones. "I'm not going anywhere."

"You're…?"

"No, I'm not." The strong conviction in her voice sounded heavenly to Derek. "Do you know how hard it was for me to leave Seattle knowing that you were in all that pain and there was nothing I could do about it?

"But I—" The slim finger Meredith placed over his lips stopped him from saying anymore.

"No more buts. We're together now and that's all that matters."

"I—"

"Will you shut up and kiss me already?!"

Derek didn't need to be told twice. With a loving smile, he gently cupped her face in his hands and lowered his lips onto hers. The kiss was soft and exploring as Meredith parted her lips to give him access to the hot, sweet cavern. Despite the surge of longing and desire that flowed through their bodies, they took things slow knowing deep in their hearts that this was it and they had all of eternity to spend together. Moving his body so she could fit snugly into his, Derek wrapped his arms securely around her small frame and pressed her close as they deepened the kiss.

"I should've told you about the baby." Meredith said weakly after breaking the kiss and gazing up into Derek's eyes. "I should've told you many things, but I was afraid you would hate me."

"What? I don't hate you. I could _never_ hate you. You're a part of me, Meredith; a big part."

"If I had taken better care of myself."

"Stop. The pregnancy was tubal and its chances of survival were slim to begin with. You can't blame yourself for what happened."

"But—"

"No buts. You and I are going to have a big, beautiful family some day."

Seeing the worried look in her eyes broke his heart and he wished he hadn't spoken so quickly. Having read her medical records, he knew they had removed one of her tubes and even though she didn't say it, he knew exactly what she was thinking. "If we never have kids, that's okay because we have each other. And now that I've found you, I will never let you go. Ever."

Meredith couldn't begin to describe the elation and joy she felt at hearing him say those words. The worry lines she wore on her face went beyond the fact that she had missed him so desperately. There was another reason and it was one she hadn't told anyone. Until now.

"Derek, I have to tell you something." She stuttered. "I…I only found out recently and I…I haven't had time to take it all in with everything else that had been happening, but I…"

"What?" Derek asked, concerned etched across his brows.

"I'm pregnant."

"What?! You're…? How? When?" He rambled, his mind too preoccupied with the news to process an intelligent thought.

"Are you…? Are you mad?"

"Mad? Are you kidding me? You've just made me the happiest man on earth." Derek nearly crushed her when he pulled her into a tight embrace.

"Derek, I can't breathe." Meredith gasped at the shortness of breath, but she loved every minute of it as he continued to hold her.

"Oh, right. Sorry." He loosened his hold, but still kept his arms around her. "When and how did this happen?"

"I think you know how." She giggled at his boyish grin. "As for the when… According to my doctor, I'm nine weeks along."

"Nine weeks?"

Meredith could see the wheels turning in his head.

"You mean it happened—"

"The night of the storm." She finished for him, her smile broadening at the fact that he remembered.

"How are you feeling? What did your doctor say? Come to think of it, what's the name of your doctor? Are they competent? If not, I can refer you to doctors who are specialists."

"I've known Addison for years and she's the only one I trust."

"Are you sure?"

"You're cute when you're worried, but yes, I'm sure."

"Good, because I don't want anyone but the best taking care of you and our little miracle in here." With the gentlest of touch, Derek cupped her stomach through the silk fabric of her robe.

Meredith was certain the little butterfly flutter she felt in her stomach was their baby touching his/her father back. Her heart swelled with pride and joy and for once in a very long time, she felt complete.

**...**

**THE END**


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